Possibly overthinking

[alexqte]

Hello, I'm new to this website but I don't have many friends so here I am asking total strangers for some advice. Four years ago, I met Nick on OkCupid and soon as we started talking we just clicked. I remember after hours of conversation we started talking about the possibility of meeting up somewhere. Plans constantly fell through, the stars just weren't aligned.

 

However, he would always tell me that he felt a strong and unknown connection to me, and naturally, as did I. Anyways, we would talk on/off for two years before we finally reconnected and met outside of my work. He had a girlfriend at the time but he still felt drawn to me and completely withdrawn from her. When we met, I truly was just a lending ear for him to vent about his issues and his want to be with me but he can't because of the situation with his girlfriend. Apparently they lived together and were a product of family intervention, and they both were in the same police academy at the time. Anyways, after we met up that one time, it would be the last I see of him for two years. We would still do our random chats here and there but no physical contact.

 

Then in October of 2016, I randomly get a text from him saying hey and asking if I would move to Texas as he had moved there to pursue his dream job (mixed martial arts instructor for a previous power ranger). When I heard he landed that job, I was overjoyed for him!!! I mean, how cool, right? But I was taken back because he asked me to MOVE to Texas to be with him. Im in no place in my life to move, so I told him I would love to but simply don't have the means to. He pushed the topic a lot and we started talking a lot more like we used to when we first met. Well, he started having problems with his new job because his boss was a young lady with zero cares in the world and because she was related to the owner, could do as she pleased.

 

He eventually had enough and told me he was moving back to Florida. Soon as he moved back, we have now seen eachother several times. Every single time even more magical than the first. I'm the type of person (introvert) who pours themselves into one person and runs with it. I'm starting to believe he's the kind of introvert who needs to be alone a lot. For when we are apart it's hard to get a simple hey, how are you? from him. I don't want to read too much into it because he's lovely when we are together. However, I will notice he spends much of his time on social media (Facebook, Instagram) and still has no time to text me? I don't really understand and it has me questioning how he really feels about me... I actually asked him to define what we are and he told me that we are two people moving toward something more permanent.

 

So, he clearly has some form of commitment issues and I told him that I'd wait forever for him because he's worth it. Believe me, he is. Anyways, I don't know what to do because sometimes his words say one thing but actions another (when we are apart) so am I overthinking things like I always do? Do I have legit concern? I really like him and feel like I'm even falling in love. A day doesn't go by I'm not thinking of him or want to be with him.

 

Oh, and after our last date I've decided he has to set up the next one because maybe I'll know if he's interested. He would definitely set up another, right? Well it's now been 4 days since our last date and I'm still waiting. He knows I am off Tuesday, and so is he. If he doesn't make the effort to plan a get together, should I? Or will I finally know the truth of his feelings. He's very conflicting and it's all very confusing.

 

 

Thanks for taking the time to read my dilemma. I appreciate all feedback.

Edited January 29, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Cookiesandough]

Why does he need to make plans and follow up with you right away? He's strung you along for 4 years and when he contacts you, you come right back. You said you'd wait forever for him even though you're just one of his options. He's in no rush.

[alexqte]

Why does he need to make plans and follow up with you right away? He's strung you along for 4 years and when he contacts you, you come right back. You said you'd wait forever for him even though you're just one of his options. He's in no rush.

 

I have a habit of letting people back into my life but those people have been terrible to me, where as, he has been lovely. I don't believe he has stringed me along because it's not like he just pops back into my life when it is "convenient" for him. We both just weren't in places in our lives where we could pursue anything even if we wanted to. It's not like he messages me and I have never messaged him. Every time I message he would respond. It's just now that we are seeing eachother every week and we really could turn into something- he's kind of withdrawing. As I said, maybe commitment issues. Which we have discussed. He's obviously not in a rush and neither am I. I just like having contact with the person I like, oh the horror.