ZA Dater Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 Yes, because they want someone who isn't attracted to them, often on a very basic level. They search and search but the incompatibilities are just too great and may be glaringly obvious to all but themselves. OLD gives everyone the impression that anyone is available to them, that all they need go do is pick. They get frustrated when the object of their desire does not pick them back, but IRL they would not even have considered that person as being an option for them, as they would known their place in the pecking order. Which is wrong because as someone posted you can generally go after someone you want and you should IF you sense you might have a modicum of a chance with them. A bigger problem for me is people who "settle" that to me is completely baffling and smacks of desperation more than anything I can readily think of. OP you need to take a leap at some point, like you I hate being rejected, its the hateful thing in life to me, every single time I have tried I have been rejected but at least I tried. You need to come onto the field and paly if you want to win. Sure I wont sugar coat it, you might end up walking off and sitting in the stands. Ultimately in life all you need to be is happy some of the time and if dating doesn't make you happy do something else that does. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 Which is wrong because as someone posted you can generally go after someone you want and you should IF you sense you might have a modicum of a chance with them. Yes you can go after anyone you want, but reality says you are unlikely to be successful if you do not apply common sense to your choice. People "settle" once it hits home that THEY are not God's gift to women/men and that they cannot just pick anyone off the shelf and head off into the sunset with them. They realise that the "perfect" partner doesn't exist and that they are better off with the bird in the hand... Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 Yes you can go after anyone you want, but reality says you are unlikely to be successful if you do not apply common sense to your choice. People "settle" once it hits home that THEY are not God's gift to women/men and that they cannot just pick anyone off the shelf and head off into the sunset with them. They realise that the "perfect" partner doesn't exist and that they are better off with the bird in the hand... Which really is just sad. Why settle for someone you don't like or don't find attractive. I'd rather be alone than subject myself to that. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 little potential for a long term relationship' date=' as he will drag her down.']It is not just looks and bodies, is it class, education and potential too. A woman with those advantages, if she is sensible, is not usually going to look at a low achiever or someon[/b] People tend to match up as they find they are most comfortable with people who are like themselves. Similar class, similar background, similar friends, similar education, similar outlook on life, similar goals... Of course you get exceptions, but in general it works best if there are similarities. Less hurdles to leap over. True... But to be honest.....I've known some dumbell women with almost nothing to offer but a nice pair of tits and ass and a cute smile, only shoot for the big earners and Alpha types.. And they have no problem getting them... TFY Link to post Share on other sites
WaitingForBardot Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 True... But to be honest.....I've known some dumbell women with almost nothing to offer but a nice pair of tits and ass and a cute smile, only shoot for the big earners and Alpha types.. And they have no problem getting them... TFY And almost is the key: Just because you thought these dumbell women had almost nothing to offer but a nice pair of tits and ass and a cute smile, doesn't mean that in fact that's all they had to offer. Their mates obviously thought otherwise. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 Which really is just sad. Why settle for someone you don't like or don't find attractive. I'd rather be alone than subject myself to that. It is not sad at all. It is being pragmatic. It is choosing someone over no-one. It is choosing love and a spouse/partner(and a family) over regret and loneliness... It is about having someone who likes you in your life, in your bed... Men don't usually "settle" for women they do not like, they "settle" as they know their choice is no Beyoncé. Link to post Share on other sites
WaitingForBardot Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 Glad you liked the ones that liked you. No you're not ..lol.., but that aside, the point is that I looked, and kept looking, and kept looking, until I found ones with whom the feeling was mutual. I never wasted even a second dwelling on this oh poor me, life is so unfair, bull... over the ones that weren't interested. And to be perfectly honest, I actually don't think you do either... Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 And almost is the key: Just because you thought these dumbell women had almost nothing to offer but a nice pair of tits and ass and a cute smile, doesn't mean that in fact that's all they had to offer. Their mates obviously thought otherwise. I guess you never met or knew any women like this....I have....Some of them are just as dumb as a stump...But believe whatever you want... If a woman looks like Sara Jean Underwood or Arianny Celeste....she probably wouldn't even need a functioning brain.. TFY Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 It is not sad at all. It is being pragmatic. It is choosing someone over no-one. It is choosing love and a spouse/partner(and a family) over regret and loneliness... It is about having someone who likes you in your life, in your bed... Men don't usually "settle" for women they do not like, they "settle" as they know their choice is no Beyoncé. Well I guess I just see things differently then. Link to post Share on other sites
WaitingForBardot Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 I guess you never met or knew any women like this....I have....Some of them are just as dumb as a stump...But believe whatever you want... If a woman looks like Sara Jean Underwood or Arianny Celeste....she probably wouldn't even need a functioning brain.. TFY But from what I've read right here on LS, these big earners and alpha types have the choice of any woman they want. If that's true, why would they settle for a woman that was nothing more than a life-support system for their T&A? Rhetorical question, they wouldn't... Again, just because you think someone doesn't bring anything to the table doesn't mean it's necessarily true. And while being dumb as a stump may not be your type, not everyone will think it's a dealbreaker. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 (edited) But from what I've read right here on LS, these big earners and alpha types have the choice of any woman they want. If that's true, why would they settle for a woman that was nothing more than a life-support system for their T&A? Rhetorical question, they wouldn't... Again, just because you think someone doesn't bring anything to the table doesn't mean it's necessarily true. And while being dumb as a stump may not be your type, not everyone will think it's a dealbreaker. Hard to believe you still don't get this.. It's a numbers game.... The amount of very attractive women that also have all the other boxes ticked are pretty small...Not nearly enough to go around... So therefore that's where the dumbells kick in... It's not a "my type" or "your type' of scenario...These women are practially every guys type...They may not have much going for them in the brains department, but they know well enough to use their looks to get what they want out of life....And they generally wont settle for a shlub with a shyt career and no money.. But believe whatever you want.... TFY Edited February 24, 2017 by thefooloftheyear 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ReformedPUA Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 Personally i think the main problem is that i do not have money, and that's all women round here seem to be concerned about. You could be the nicest best looking person in the entire world but unless you have a large wallet, a career, nice car and everything else by the age of 21 you might as well be invisible That's not true at all though. Guys on here, going by the threads I've read so far anyway, seem to think that getting a girlfriend is like getting into Harvard except you have to be good-looking too. It's just not the case. There are many many women who are in love with men who have all sorts of problems, including big problems w money. (and likewise for men in love w women) If you don't believe me, read the threads on here. Meanwhile, without seeing you in person, there is no way anyone could answer your question as to why you are still single, but I guarantee you, it's not your financial situation. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
WaitingForBardot Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 Hard to believe you still don't get this.. It's a numbers game.... The amount of very attractive women that also have all the other boxes ticked are pretty small...Not nearly enough to go around... So therefore that's where the dumbells kick in... It's not a "my type" or "your type' of scenario...These women are practially every guys type...They may not have much going for them in the brains department, but they know well enough to use their looks to get what they want out of life....And they generally wont settle for a shlub with a shyt career and no money.. But believe whatever you want.... TFY Equally hard to believe you believe I don't get it, but believe whatever you want. I do... ..lol.. We'll just agree to disagree... Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 What has never made sense to me regarding choosing a wife is that guys are always placing good sex above everything else, but at the same time they're usually trying to bag someone more attractive than themselves. If you want a woman who is really turned on by you and eager to have sex with you, marry someone a couple notches down from you in looks and the total package and she will probably make you much happier in bed than someone who is settling for you or feels more like just being friends with you or who is marrying you because you are better off financially than she is or because she's desperate to have kids and who can find someone much more attractive to have sex with at any given time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 What has never made sense to me regarding choosing a wife is that guys are always placing good sex above everything else, but at the same time they're usually trying to bag someone more attractive than themselves. If you want a woman who is really turned on by you and eager to have sex with you, marry someone a couple notches down from you in looks and the total package and she will probably make you much happier in bed than someone who is settling for you or feels more like just being friends with you or who is marrying you because you are better off financially than she is or because she's desperate to have kids and who can find someone much more attractive to have sex with at any given time. Never happen....not in this world, anyway...And who says that every successful guy is some old and chubby ugly duckling?? For successful men, (or any man, really)its not only about the sex....When you have a good looking woman on your arm, it says something about you as a man...Those women had options and picked them....Watching your woman walk across a room, turning every guys head in the place, is the ultimate for most guys.. That being said, excluding pure gold diggers. there are many good looking women out there that find successful guys more attractive and have no problem being sexually attracted to those "lesser' men when they have all of the accoutrements of a good life..To them, its better off than being with the handsome guy, with no Alpha qualities, no status, etc, and that can't pay his own bills.. ....Its like beer goggles with ugly women for guys,...without the beer.. Bottom line? ALL guys want the best that they can have...Looks, Alpha qualities, money, status, etc, all go into the "bank"...And you wind up with the best woman you can "afford"..so to speak.. TFY 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CptInsano Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 What has never made sense to me regarding choosing a wife is that guys are always placing good sex above everything else, but at the same time they're usually trying to bag someone more attractive than themselves. Agreed, people try to date "up" in attractiveness, no matter how they define it. If you want a woman who is really turned on by you and eager to have sex with you, marry someone a couple notches down from you in looks and the total package and she will probably make you much happier in bed than someone who is settling for you or feels more like just being friends with you or who is marrying you because you are better off financially than she is or because she's desperate to have kids and who can find someone much more attractive to have sex with at any given time. Oddly enough, that has never worked for me. I was always drawn to women with a sex drive, but it was never a "trade down" in attractiveness. For some reason I was rejected less by those who I considered beautiful. Maybe they handled social interactions better because they were more self-confident, I really don't know. But all my long-term relationships were all with women who would have had plenty of other options. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts