I hate you Laurynn

[Pamela]

Just read your added posts of last week. You don't know me, have never met me and have no idea who I really am, so don't tell me I need professional help.

 

I don't want to get into another whole discussion about this, but I think that many aspects of professionalism are out-dated (archaic) and it does not always help people the way it is intended.

 

Writing on this site and performing in my chamber music ensemble is the best therapy I need for now. Thank you very much Mademoiselle Laurynn.

[Tony T]

Professing that you hate somebody because of the wording of their post on an Internet forum could be construed as being proof that what they said was right. I'm almost sure you didn't mean that.

 

If, however, you actually hate someone you don't know and will most likely never meet from now until the end of the world because of something they wrote in this forum, you really do have some issues that must be addressed.

[Laurynn]

Just read your added posts of last week. You don't know me, have never met me and have no idea who I really am, so don't tell me I need professional help.

Did I ever claim to know you? Did I ever claim to have met you? No. You came here with a story to share, and new facts that appeared as time went on. By posting here, you were requesting our opinions. I gave you mine. I won't back down, I'll stand by it. If you truly think it's healthy and stable, to pine over an ex lover who's gay/married and uninterested in you, then when he rejects you, you express the desire to exact revenge, go for it.....whatever flops your proverbial mop.

I don't want to get into another whole discussion about this, but I think that many aspects of professionalism are out-dated (archaic) and it does not always help people the way it is intended.

"Professionalism" and needing professional psychiatric help are two completely different things. You can find the definition for the former, in your handy dictionary.

Writing on this site and performing in my chamber music ensemble is the best therapy I need for now. Thank you very much Mademoiselle Laurynn.

Yes you're right. It seems to be highly effective *grin*

 

Your pal,

 

Laurynn

[sparkle]

I really do not see how this type of post belongs on a forum such as this.

 

If you want to communicate back and forth with someone about personal matters that do not concern the rest of us, I suggest that you please get that person's e-mail address or screenname and contact him/her that way rather than posting on here.

 

Posting personal attacks takes up space and time, has no practical use, and just makes YOU look bad.

 

But of course, if you're indirectly asking for our advice on how to handle your anger more effectively, or how not to let others upset you, please let me know. I'll be more than glad to offer some advice!

 

Thanks,

 

[Tony T]

Most people are highly flattered that others around the world who don't know them personally could get as passionate about their lives and problems as Laurynn. She cares enough about you to tell it straight and like it is. When you read her posts it's like a caring friend right there in front of your face...who cares enough to drive it in where you can hear it.

 

Getting angry at her or about any post is a decision you make. I like to make every decision in my life to benefit me the most and to make me feel the best. It never benefits me to make a decision to upset myself. I hope you will consider the same for yourself, unless you enjoy being upset. Nothing in the world that can ever be written in this forum has the power to upset you unless you allow it to.

[Tony T]

To Sparkle:

 

I didn't detect any personal attacks in Pamela's post. Stating that she hates Laurynn was probably just the way she felt at that time. (I used to hate my dad when he punished me but I deserved it and I loved him the next day.) There is a good reason some people hate people who drive home points they don't want to hear.

 

If what Laurynn posted had no relevance in Pamela's life, healthy people would have snickered and moved on with little thought. Pamela is angry and needs people to displace that anger toward, whether it be her old gay teacher, Laurynn or me. But if she hangs around here long enough, hopefully she will realize her anger is at people who were around in her very dysfunctional life very early on...who abandoned her and emotionally and/or physically abused her.

 

(I will also tell you it would probably anger me a bit if I found out a lady I had loved dearly in the past was now happily married to another lady. I would get over it...but I would wonder what the other lady had that I didn't.)

 

It's a lot easier to tear into a gay teacher from long ago who you had an affair with as a teen or to get angry with Laurynn rather than face the fact that the people you needed the very most when you were tiny and vulnerable didn't give you the love and protection you so sorely needed. When you're small and unable to express that anger, you store it up inside and it has to come out at some point.

 

This is the burden Pamela will have to carry with her until she is able work it out...and it's something she didn't ask for. It's tragic that she sought the love of a teacher in school, who was an authority and parental figure, because she didn't get the love she needed in her own home. One day she will realize the culprits...but in her own time.

 

Pamela said in her post that being here was therapeutic and that's a good thing. While I agree with you totally that bantering back and forth to people about matters irrelevant to their issue is a waste of time and space, I'm not sure this dialog is irrelevant in this particular case. People who come from highly dysfunctional environments equate hostility and abuse with love. I think while Pamela may protest, she may be getting more love at this site than anywhere else in her life right now...both from the people who write nice posts to her...and from those who hit her hard. I see it all as nothing less than love.

 

Again, in my opinion, Pamela has some serious anger issues that need to be worked out. I stated this to her before and she agreed...she has had some serious problems beginning in her childhood. If she can't afford counselling, use of this forum is a pretty good place to try to begin the healing process if things can stay civil.

 

I never cease to be amazed how people can get so worked up about stuff here but, on the other hand, I think it's really nice to be passionate about something.

[Pamela]

If you truly think it's healthy

and stable, to pine over an ex lover who's gay/married and uninterested in you, then when he rejects you, you express the desire to exact revenge, go for it.....whatever flops your proverbial mop.

 

Obviously you didn't read my "letter of closure" to this person.

"Professionalism" and needing professional psychiatric help are two completely different things. You can find the definition for the former, in your handy dictionary.

 

Psychiatrists, doctors, teachers and lawyers are all considered "professionals". I was trying to point out that our system, especially here in Western Canada, is out-dated and is not serving us appropriately.

[Sally]

If a person is going to go onto this site, asking for advice, then they're going to get different responses. You're not going to always like what you hear (example: being told to get professional help)but that's just too bad. Everyone here has a right to their opinion, whether you agree or not. If you don't like someone's response to your posting, then ignore it and read the next persons response OR don't even post on this site at all. You were saying Laurynn didn't know you, so she had no right to make judgements about you, but then you said you "hated" her, and that's a pretty strong emotion to have for someone that YOU don't know. I also think that it was nice of Laurynn to take time out of her day, to even respond to your posting. So instead of hating her, just say, Laurynn, I personally disagree with your advice - because you don't know me, but I appreciate you taking the time to respond to my posting.