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My ex just contacted me... 4 years later


MisUnderstood1

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MisUnderstood1

Whatever he wanted to tell me couldn't have been about STIs because we never had sex. He hasn't replied since my last email and I guess that was what I wanted but for some reason/s I am struggling now. Maybe it's because I feel like I gave him the closure he was probably looking for with my forgiveness while I'm now sad than ever and haven't really gotten any closure, maybe it's because I now feel I shouldn't have said I forgave him so that he can continue living in guilt especially because he was never remorseful and never apologized and really didn't deserve my forgiveness, maybe it's because it would've been before for me not to have responded to the email at all, maybe it's because part of me still misses him and do want to talk to him/see him, maybe it's because part of me would like to hear what he has to say, if anything at all (after I told him I forgave him he still asked for my # to discuss something important and urgent). I don't know. I am just really sad now. It feels like I'm now back in 2014 when I felt so broken. I've a hard time logging into my email now for fear of not seeing his email, and he hasn't emailed. I thought I handled this the right way but why do I feel so sad now? I was doing just fine before he came back and disturbed my peace of mind.

Edited by MisUnderstood1
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