is it ok to go out with female friends if you're in a LDR

[hawks1988]

I have a female friend who I have not yet met who I've been talking to online (fitness website) for about two months. A few weeks ago, I went to Texas to meet a girl and we are now dating. (She is going to move to Georgia eventually where I am, within the next year) I told the said female friend about my GF. She wants to meet me for coffee on Friday after work.

 

Is there anything wrong with this? We are hanging out as friends. I have quite a few female friends that are all platonic. I think the same thing here too with this new female friend. Plus she is aware of my GF. Is it wrong that I'm going to meet her for coffee?

[hippychick3]

The only one who can answer this is your gf. Does she know about the friend? If not, then no, it's not okay.

[d0nnivain]

Generally I tell people that hanging out with platonic opposite sex friends who have been part of you life before your relationship should be OK. But some SOs are uncomfortable with this & the couple needs to answer this Q with each other inside their relationship.

 

 

However in your case, you just started an LDR. Now you want to go meet some new girl off the internet. I don't care what you call it, sounds more like a date to me & if you are exclusive with the girl from Texas this is a lousy way to show it.

[hawks1988]

Generally I tell people that hanging out with platonic opposite sex friends who have been part of you life before your relationship should be OK. But some SOs are uncomfortable with this & the couple needs to answer this Q with each other inside their relationship.

 

 

However in your case, you just started an LDR. Now you want to go meet some new girl off the internet. I don't care what you call it, sounds more like a date to me & if you are exclusive with the girl from Texas this is a lousy way to show it.

 

My GF--all her best friends in TX are dudes. I'm totally cool with that. I trust her. I'm not going to cheat on her. I don't have a lot of friends to begin with. Most of my friends live out of state, in Florida or Mississippi. I have no romantic interest in this person I am meeting whatsoever. She knows I have a GF. She is not interested in me in a romantic way. She has already said this to me and I am not interested in her in a romantic way either. We're just meeting up to get coffee. Nothing more nothing less.

[central]

Tell your LDR gf about your new female friend, and all is good if you are sincere about this being platonic. And if it turns out that you feel otherwise, then tell your gf you're breaking up before you take things further.

 

LDRs seldom work, in my opinion, even though I've had a couple that did. They are too difficult unless the person is truly extraordinary (and few truly are, in that there is usually someone else who is as good).

[Jj66]

My one LDR was also an open relationship so this would not have been the slightest problem.

 

A one-on-one meeting sounds an awful lot like a date. You are on the edge of propriety here if you have an exclusive relationship with the Texas chick. Could you invite internet chick to meet you and some other people so it doesn't have the feel of a date?

[hippychick3]

OP, you keep mentioning that the friend knows about your gf, but you've yet to mention whether your gf knows about your friend. Why is that?

[justwhoiam]

I have a female friend who I have not yet met who I've been talking to online

1. How often do you talk to her?

2. For how long?

3. Are you exchanging messages in a forum, or exchanging private messages? It sounds like there's at least some online one-on-one interaction, which means private messages back and forth.

4. Who started the private messages?

5. What started the private messaging?

6. What fueled it?

7. Were you talking to this girl prior to talking to your current gf?

8. Isn't it funny that as soon as you mentioned you now have a gf, the internet female buddy wants to meet up with you for coffee?

9. Does this internet female buddy live in your town? Like in a 3/5 mile radius? Or how far is she from you?

10. A coffee at lunch break is better than coffee on Friday after work, to meet up with an internet buddy, unless you want to be open to something more or to extend the encounter to Friday night. Do you realize about that? To avoid the chance of her asking you to extend the date, have something planned right afterwards, and leave free only one hour for her. And don't invite her to join you whatever you'll be doing. The best thing would be having an online date with your girlfriend right afterwards.

 

Is there anything wrong with this?

Yes.

 

Is it wrong that I'm going to meet her for coffee?

I think I covered this with what I previously said.

But this is my last question:

11. Why did you start wondering if it's wrong?

[hawks1988]

I'm not going to meet the internet person. my logic is-- if I think it's wrong it probably is. I told her I cannot meet her and she was ok with this. Thank you everyone for getting me in the right direction.