Echo74 Posted February 1, 2017 Share Posted February 1, 2017 It's been just over two years since my husband left. We are cordial, he still pays for everything since I've been a stay at home for about seven years. Although I've really tried to move on, I still have an inkling of wanting everything to be back the way it was as a married couple. My son joined the army over a year ago. So taking care of and worrying about home and yard maintenance was getting to be overwhelming. So last fall I sold my house and bought a small townhouse. I thought the move would help me heal and start clean but I am still frustrated that he chooses to leave (and he's devout Catholic) after over 20 years together. From past experience with friends and other family members he has chosen to shun, I know that he will not be back. I honestly thought I'd have met someone else by now. I know that if I met someone else, I would be able to get over this longing for a reconciliation that will never happen. I've joined a meetup group but have never met anyone who I'd be remotely interested in. I've looked on Match.com (not actually paid/joined) and the only guys I'd be interested in want younger women! Any suggestions and/or ideas? Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey born raised Posted February 1, 2017 Share Posted February 1, 2017 He broke his vows to and the God chose to worship. So he is 0 for 2. Link to post Share on other sites
BluesPower Posted February 1, 2017 Share Posted February 1, 2017 You will have to find someone... You know you won't really know how you feel until you go on some real dates. You won't replace him because you still love him but you can meet some nice guys. It is actually a ton of fun. Whatever and however you decide, you have to move on. After 2 years he is not coming back. I am sure that he already has at least one GF after 2 years. Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted February 1, 2017 Share Posted February 1, 2017 I find it unnecessary to speak of one's faith in these matters. People stay and divorce for reasons that go beyond one's convictions to a deity that is active/tangible or not. The real world always catches up and having a relationship with something that you cannot 'see' or 'touch' or 'feel' pales in comparison with having to deal with a humanbeing you are in a relationship with. So, that aside, my question is why are you two not divorced yet? The biggest obstacle I see for you is that you are two still legally bound. Once that is out of the way, you will have some closure and be able to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Echo74 Posted February 1, 2017 Author Share Posted February 1, 2017 So, that aside, my question is why are you two not divorced yet? The biggest obstacle I see for you is that you are two still legally bound. Once that is out of the way, you will have some closure and be able to move on. Because I need financial support and medical coverage. Medical coverage would cost twice as much if we are not married. My home and auto insurance is also cheaper as a married person. I've not held a job in seven years and I'm quite rusty in my office computer knowledge. Plus I'm getting closer to retirement age and feel that it works against me. I suppose in a nutshell, I'm afraid I won't find a job and I won't find anyone else because it took me so long to find him. And I'm considered a very attractive woman but I'm very picky. Geez...that sure sounds pathetic, lol! Seriously though, I'm really not that bad. I guess I'm just scared of the unknown because it's getting closer to ending the marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Bebe11 Posted February 5, 2017 Share Posted February 5, 2017 You say "he will not be back", but have you talked with him? I believe in miracles and your marriage can be saved, but it will take some work. Have you talked with a counselor? Would he be willing to talk to a counselor? Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted February 5, 2017 Share Posted February 5, 2017 I've not held a job in seven years and I'm quite rusty in my office computer knowledge. Plus I'm getting closer to retirement age and feel that it works against me. I suppose in a nutshell, I'm afraid I won't find a job and I won't find anyone else because it took me so long to find him. And I'm considered a very attractive woman but I'm very picky. Geez...that sure sounds pathetic, lol! Quite truthfully, yes it does. And self-limiting also. Because I need financial support and medical coverage. Medical coverage would cost twice as much if we are not married. My home and auto insurance is also cheaper as a married person. Join AARP. They offer insurance discounts without all the hassle of marriage to someone who doesn't want or deserve you... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
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