BuddyX Posted February 7, 2017 Share Posted February 7, 2017 (edited) Bored at home, or in a marriage that's a facade and you're not sure if the wife is having an affair? I'll take bored at home any day. Edited February 7, 2017 by BuddyX Grammar 5 Link to post Share on other sites
JS84 Posted February 7, 2017 Share Posted February 7, 2017 Your children are adults not little kids. They should know why their parents marriage is ending. You dont have to give them nitty gritty details. Not sure why when it comes to cheating people think keeping their kids in the dark (if they're old enough to kniw anyway) is the best move, especially when the kids know something is seriously wrong. Hell my mom told my sister and I about our dads cheating and the prostitutes when we were 15 and 17 respectively. Guess what? The earth didn't swallow us into the abyss, we werent emotionally obliterated, and now at 30 and 32 our relationship with our father is fine. Hell we never even let on to him that we knew, he still isn't aware we know everything. We just supported our mom which I know helped her considerably. Now based on your previous behavior it might have been a good thing you didn't say anything as it looks like you made ALOT of mistakes after Dday and would have set a pretty bad example of how to deal with a cheating spouse, but now? Hell you kicked her out and if you keep doing things the right way you'll have her served with divorce papers. Im assuming your kids aren't stupid and will grasp that there are only so many things that can end a 25 year marriage. But at the end of the day its up to you. I guess Im trying to say that keeping your adult children in the dark isnt doing them or you any favors. The only one who benfits from that is your wife. And she benefited more than enough when she was walking all over and emasculating you while you suffered. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BluesPower Posted February 7, 2017 Share Posted February 7, 2017 I have been thinking about you. We would all like to know how you are doing. I kind of reflected on how your situation has some similarities to mine as I was look back over your thread. I will have been married 27 years when the divorce is final, which is in a few months I hope. I tried to start this 6 months ago with my wife when I told her that we were done. She said she wanted one more chance and I gave it to her. I dropped all my GF's and went straight. (I kind of went of the rails a few years ago when her drug addiction took a really bad turn) I was all in, until I realized the she never really loved me or sure does not love me that way that I needed. She still cannot understand what all of her betrayal and lies have done to my heart and she never will. She is really not worried about losing me, she is worried about having to work for a living and not having her current life style. She got totally pissed when I spent our recent "anniversary" which was Friday at one of my GF's place. I guess it hurt her a lot but I really could care less. I hope one day before I die she actually has the courage to admit that she treated me like S*** and never loved me. I would feel better if she admitted what a horrible person she was. But I am not holding my breath for that. Let us know how you are doing with everything and stay strong... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostNbroken1964 Posted February 7, 2017 Author Share Posted February 7, 2017 Im doing ok everyone..i can relate to the horrible treatment after DDAY that hurt the most. The fact that she continued to see him after watching me crumble and the fact that she doesnt understand what this has done to me. I starting to realize that I made it to easy for her she got so used to the lifestyle that even though she didnt love me she stuck around for the goodies. I am getting my MOJO back and am not sure anymore if there is anything left in our marriage to save. i tried to redial a number on the house phone in our bedroom today and the POS's number was in there. Im starting to see the trees through the forest.. Ill stay strong and forge on because thats all I can do for myself thanks again Blues/Marc and everyone else for caring 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted February 7, 2017 Share Posted February 7, 2017 It takes awhile to see them as they really are. Your heart will always betray you in these times but at some point your heart will sync up to your mind. Denial just keeps you in limbo Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey born raised Posted February 7, 2017 Share Posted February 7, 2017 Some of the most important standards you have taught your sons about holding themselves to bravery, honesty and loyalty are not just about holding themselves to these standards. It is about holding others to the same and how to do so. Patents lead be example. Do so while being kind but forceful but showing respect for yourself and what standards you expect a spouse to uphold. This is a life lesson for your sons. My father was you. While I did not have children my two brothers did. Teach them how to honor themselves. Your Way Ward wife either teaches them how to heal dishonesty, lying and betrayal by HER actions or not. You teach them by accepting nothing less. Stay 180 and share with them the truth. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
AnneP Posted February 11, 2017 Share Posted February 11, 2017 Hey, OP.... just checking in on you. Any update? Hope you're doing better. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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