Your last relationship: How long did it last? Scale of 1-10 how badly did it end?

[downeast]

semi recent. she had more than 1 affair and is still trying to replace me as a father figure for them. I picked my son up from school the other day and he asked me if thought mom was a slut. I told him that if you don't want to be in a relationship with someone then you should at least let them know.

[ZayKayWill]

semi recent. she had more than 1 affair and is still trying to replace me as a father figure for them. I picked my son up from school the other day and he asked me if thought mom was a slut. I told him that if you don't want to be in a relationship with someone then you should at least let them know.

 

DAYUM. How old is he?

[jamili]

Before I was a good boy with some bad in me. Now I am a hardened/bad boy with maybe a little good inside but u have to dig pretty hard to find it.

 

I love this. Couldn't be more spot on. No doubt a heartbreak and a traumatic breakup with a woman you deeply loved can change a man. Never will i ever be the same again. Wish id gone through this with a different girl before meeting my ex, im positive things would have been different between us. But, alas, ive learned a lot about myself. I think we all do after a breakup.

 

Everytime i hear a woman now complain about a man who is "emotionally distant" or a see a bad boy who cannot let himself commit or reveal his heart to a woman, i think "this guy knows pain". I know all those emotionally distant men out there are damaged. Sometime in his past, he got his heart broken pretty bad, and made promises to himself to protect himself in the future. He's less "nice", he's less open, he's less emotional l. And it is likely because he once was all those things before some woman before her ripped it all out of him.

 

However, ironically, this new hardened man will have more success in future relationships because of this. Experience is golden. Hardening is part of becoming a man, IMO a point you dont reach until experiencing heartbreak a few times.

[mightycpa]

1 being not that bad if bad at all and 10 being the worst break up imaginable. Last relationship lasted about a good 9 months (5 months officially). Ended pretty badly. Would say maybe 6.5/10 bad. Nothing too horrible but still far from a happy ending...

Hmm

It seems to me there are two answers to this question:

 

... when they broke up with me

 

and

 

--- when I broke up with her

 

8 and 0 and forever

[Pumpingiron34]

5 years.. First love, ended horrible id say an 11 after basically going through a significant portion of our adolescence together I thought our bond was strong. **** went down hill when she hit 21. Just went from her dumping me blocking me every where in a day to a quick week of the most horrendous mind games, all while we had a cruise planned two months away. On top of that she tryed I guess destroying me? Just hooking up with dudes left and right, old friends included. Blocking me out of her life completely. This is all from the girl I thought I loved and knew, sat there with her as her grandfather died of lung cancer, I was there for her numerous surgeries for her skin cancer. I can't think of a time I was not there for her. Never cheated never did anything I Dident deserve it at all. She would just start fights with me and put the Blaim on me constantly. The pain was and is still pretty intense at times. It's been like 10 months bu and 9 nc aside for her showin up at my door recently to tell me she's not a terrible person and she wanted closure. The feeling of worthlessness is so incredible at times I just have to lay there in pain of betrayal. I guess that's what I get for loving some one.

[SevenCity]

I love this. Couldn't be more spot on. No doubt a heartbreak and a traumatic breakup with a woman you deeply loved can change a man. Never will i ever be the same again. Wish id gone through this with a different girl before meeting my ex, im positive things would have been different between us. But, alas, ive learned a lot about myself. I think we all do after a breakup.

 

Everytime i hear a woman now complain about a man who is "emotionally distant" or a see a bad boy who cannot let himself commit or reveal his heart to a woman, i think "this guy knows pain". I know all those emotionally distant men out there are damaged. Sometime in his past, he got his heart broken pretty bad, and made promises to himself to protect himself in the future. He's less "nice", he's less open, he's less emotional l. And it is likely because he once was all those things before some woman before her ripped it all out of him.

 

However, ironically, this new hardened man will have more success in future relationships because of this. Experience is golden. Hardening is part of becoming a man, IMO a point you dont reach until experiencing heartbreak a few times.

 

Funny. This was the guy women turned me into and I did much better.

 

Fast forward to 7 years ago when I met my ex and said F it. As a result I was able to have the most wonderful and deep relationship of my life. And guess what happened? Yep, she broke my heart worse than any before her.

 

Screw this. The old me is back.

[mightycpa]

Maybe a more interesting question would be: Rate ALL OF THEM

 

10, 1, 1, 1, 7, 1, 1, 1, 2, 0

 

0 meaning it hasn't ended yet. 27 years and going strong!

 

Looking back, I think the first one inoculated me from severe harm.

[Lostandconfused12]

7 years. Although I know others have worst situations, I feel at this time a 8/10. My ex tortured me throughout our relationship and I failed to see. He led me on, blamed me for any mistakes, had me believeing his half ass attempt was love. All while I gave him my all. He messed me up in my head and I still feel guilty for not cleaning our room one day (as an example on how ****ty and mind controlling he was) and to see him one day be the man I wanted him to be with someone else? Thank you for wasting my life. I can't even love myself again. I wanted to commit suicide for a long time.

[anuba]

About a month, though we've been back and forth for a few years.

I'm always the dumper... 8/10 Because he got a few of my family members involved, which created a lovely little fiasco.

[ZayKayWill]

Maybe a more interesting question would be: Rate ALL OF THEM

 

10, 1, 1, 1, 7, 1, 1, 1, 2, 0

 

0 meaning it hasn't ended yet. 27 years and going strong!

 

Looking back, I think the first one inoculated me from severe harm.

 

That's a lot of relationships. Jeez.

[Eternal Sunshine]

In 2015, I dated someone for 8 months but I wasn't in love. It was mostly good sex but we called each other bf/gf and met families etc. It ended mutually when he moved to another state. Kind of like "I guess this is a natural ending point"...I would say 1/10 on the pain scale. We are still in touch trough FB chat and continued to hook up every now then when in the same town for most of 2016...untill I met my current bf (6 months now, deeper attachemnt and likely ending soon - this one is going to be tougher)....

 

Before that, I lived with someone in 2011/2012 and that ended with 9/10. Really, really nasty. He came home from work one day, ended it and told me to move out within the next few hours. I had nowhere to go so ended up moving back in with the parents temprorarily. Then he blocked me on everything and it took me over 6 months to get my stuff back. We remain blocked, full NC and I am still really resentful of how he eneded it to this day.

Edited February 15, 2017 by Eternal Sunshine

[Shehulk]

1.5 year, break up was 4/10 (no yelling, no fight during the break up etc) but the pain i feel is def a 10/10

[Goodguy05]

5 months...break up was a 9 because he ghosted and I do not handle that well. Still lingered for months after. Epic pain still ensues lol No real answer still.

 

Before that was 6 months...break up was a 10 because he assaulted me and is still in jail, caught him cheating with a hooker, etc.

 

Had a bad 2016. Glad its over lol

 

Holy **** that's bad and I thought mine was well it is because I still hav to see every day and the turmoil I went thru wthe her last yr over a custody battle I give it 9/10 the work factor is a big on3 here plus she claimed she was so int o me never met anyone like me before soulmate all that jazz and I actually felt we had t hv e strongest connection in the 20 off um yrs of relationships just bad timing and the kids she cam3 wth made it hard. So ye a 9/10

[ZayKayWill]

Bump for more interesting stories.

[Frostedflake]

Lasted 2 yrs.

I think on a grand scale (ie. reading all the stories on these forums and comparing) my rating would be a 4/10 because of drama, suspected infidelity, and a huge matter in finance.

But for my age and experience in relationships/breakups it was a 9/10. So it's nice to have a broader perspective now.

[penelopeanne]

just over 2 years and ended a few months ago via email which is the worst.

dealing with a complete avoidant, while i am the anxious attachment type.

learning a lot about myself. it is painful though, this one is about 8/10 or so.

2016 was a crazy year.....I experienced about 5 deaths within a few months (mostly young people),a friend had a massive heart attack and survived, I had surgery and was diagnosed with cancer.

so much to work through and the break up felt like the icing on the cake.

but in reality, it was harder to be with someone who was emotionally unavailable.

[Heartbrokenandhurt]

6 Months.

 

Pain 10, based on the fact I felt/feel completely rejected and confused, not good enough and my Self esteam has been shattered. Now suffering from Severe anxiety because of it. And I have felt suicidal when I think of him and how he just decided he didn't have feelings. I waited a real long time. I feel like theres something wrong with me. I'm now on autopilot all the time and I don't enjoy my life.

[Heartbrokenandhurt]

6 Months.

 

Pain 10, based on the fact I felt/feel completely rejected and confused, not good enough and my Self esteam has been shattered. Now suffering from Severe anxiety because of it. And I have felt suicidal when I think of him and how he just decided he didn't have feelings. I waited a real long time. I feel like theres something wrong with me. I'm now on autopilot all the time and I don't enjoy my life.

[CptInsano]

5 years, ended about as amicable as I can imagine. Pain about (4/10), simply because we both realized it was coming. We had about a year of NC and now chat off and on. Both agree that we were each others best sex ever.

[Gillys]

Just over a year..Pain 9/10

Dumped via text before a big exam at school that she knew I needed to pass. I was led on for a while post BU and lied to as she secretly started dating someone else (that she met online and later moved across the country for after only a few months). I embarrassed myself so much post BU and she told our friends a different story about our relationship which made me look very bad. I almost flunked out of professional school due to my depression, lost a lucrative job post graduation, contemplated suicide several times and ended up in a very dark place.

With 6 months NC around the corner, I still can't hear her name without having some type of negative emotional response.

Love sucks

[Cookiesandough]

11/10. Regardless, can't believe how cold my ex is being. Put me on NC/doorslamed me. And ok, maybe he is seeing another girl, whatevs, but not even a "hi". No "I forgive you" Not even a "stop contacting me". Just reading all my messages with glee and loving he has no intention to respond. My apologies mean nothing to him. If he knew it was true, would he even care? I don't know why he took me off block just to ignore me but it seems like a cruel game

Edited May 15, 2017 by Cookiesandough

[curiouslysearching]

11/10. Regardless, can't believe how cold my ex is being. Put me on NC/doorslamed me. And ok, maybe he is seeing another girl, whatevs, but not even a "hi". No "I forgive you" Not even a "stop contacting me". Just reading all my messages with glee and loving he has no intention to respond. My apologies mean nothing to him. If he knew it was true, would he even care? I don't know why he took me off block just to ignore me but it seems like a cruel game

 

No idea why you even give him the satisfaction.....DON'T DO IT

[Cookiesandough]

No idea why you even give him the satisfaction.....DON'T DO IT

 

I know you're right, CS. Ty. So just stop messaging. Thats it.

[curiouslysearching]

I know you're right, CS. Ty. So just stop messaging. Thats it.

 

Exactly, just let it go....you have to know and believe that there is something much better awaiting you. You deserve to be treated great

[Altair0770]

Lasted like 7 months? Breakup was about a 7/10. She seemed to lack any empathy, and I called her a whore on Twitter.