Talking to EX GF again

[Jasong80]

I recently started talking to my Ex Gf again. We were in a long distance relationship, im in NY and she is in GA. I had plans to go there for college but unfortunately things fell through.

 

When we first met we just clicked, it was an instant connection. It was wonderful for a while and then things just started to go south. I have a tendency to say things I dont mean when Im angry, jealous, upset , etc and am guilty of overthinking.

 

We both said alot, we didnt mean. I think I may have took it a little bit further though. In any event we went a few months with no communication and then about 2 months ago I decided to pick up the phone and reach out. She answered and we had good conversation for a little while. It was nice.

 

I decided to try to make amends and rebuild the friendship. She has Sprint and I work for Sprint and she needed a phone, so i was able to get her eligible for an upgrade even though she had months left on her contract and it turns out her phone was broke so when she turned it in, it had to be paid for ($320 dollars which I agreed to pay)

 

We would talk occassionally and things seemed to be going well, then I had brought something up about the new phone I got her and said if you happened to get charged for it, let me know because I already paid the amount. She immediately goes into defense mode and says you told me I wouldnt get charged for it, are you up to something or trying to manipulate me. I understand she is not to trusting of me because of previous things Ive done and I said I wouldnt even bring it up if I didnt just lose my job and she keeps going on and on about what a jerk I was and why she should not trust me etc etc.

 

I told her Im not asking you to trust me right away ( I didnt cheat or anything, i was just nasty and said some hurtful stuff) im just being friendly and looking to repair the friendship and see where it goes thats all.

 

I decided to go a couple days and not speak to her and then i reached out again. ( i know im a sucker) and she said she was sick. I sent her some flowers and a get well soon balloon and asked how she was doing. She said im trying to get this new job and I have no time to talk this week. You can call me next week and we can talk and say hi but this week is no good.

 

I said ok, so today I just sent her a text and said hey, hope everything is going well and your meeting your deadlines and she read the text message ( she has that option turned on with her iphone) and she never even bothered to answer me.

 

I know im a sucker and im still in love with her unfortunately. Im always reaching out and seeing how she is doing and offering to help her in anyway I can.

 

I guess my question is (which im sure I already know the answer to , just need reinforcement) do i just move on and say forget about it? stop texting and calling and just go on my way and if its meant to be it will be. Its always me calling her, the only time she calls me is when she needs something or has a question. Im way to nice because i feel bad about what I did in the past and she will never let me live it down, but I feel like I have to stop feeling bad. Ive apologized numerous times and ive been working on myself and ive done so much to help her and be there for her as a friend and I just dont feel like she cares, its like she feels like I owe it to her because of what I did in the past.

 

She was no angel either, but I will take most of the blame like I said.

 

I dont know im thinking I just need to let this go and not contact her anymore and continue to work on me. She never really contacts me but should I block her? or just let it go and start to live my life and try to move on?

 

Thanks for your help!

[Blanco]

Sounds like it would be best for you both to find someone closer to where you live. Georgia to New York is quite a large gap to close, and it doesn't even sound like you two have a very sturdy foundation to build on as it is.

 

Personally, I think she sounds uninterested at this point, and basically took an easy opportunity to get a free phone.

 

Edit: read your other threads. Long distance AND she's an alcoholic? Dude, no. Move on.

Edited February 3, 2017 by Blanco

[LitTunnel]

Bro, it hurts, trust me, I know, but...you have to let her go. I know it makes you sick just thinking about this but she's got you too wrapped and she knows it. All the power is on her side and she knows it and you know it. Dude, just go completely NC. Who knows, maybe in the distant future she'll hit you up but I would for sure go completely cold turkey. She's totally playing you and you're falling for it all the way. Women don't respect guys like you bro. Grow a set man. Do your thing but don't ever kiss a girl's ass just to have them in your life. It's pathetic, weak and very, very unattractive. Just think about it. Would you respect a woman who did that to you? HELL NO. So imagine, you're doing this to her. So STOP. Right here, right now. Say, NO MORE. Like I said, grow a set and move on and don't look back. It's over. Again, I'm sorry, I know it hurts big time and all you're doing is thinking of the good times but my man, you're way to far up her arse and she's totally turned off so let her be. You're going to do terrific. I promise so don't even trip man. I know deep down you think you'll never meet someone like her and that's probably a good thing. Listen, if you only knew what I went through with my ex. I ended up looking like a total weak, beta, shameful man because I was so in to her but never ever again will I do this because I learned a valuable lesson and so will you. It's painful, VERY painful now but in due time your future love is going to totally reap the rewards. You're going to hook up, EVENTUALLY, with the hottest and most amazing woman so make sure you learn all your lessons and DON'T DO THEM AGAIN!!! LOL

[Jasong80]

Bro, it hurts, trust me, I know, but...you have to let her go. I know it makes you sick just thinking about this but she's got you too wrapped and she knows it. All the power is on her side and she knows it and you know it. Dude, just go completely NC. Who knows, maybe in the distant future she'll hit you up but I would for sure go completely cold turkey. She's totally playing you and you're falling for it all the way. Women don't respect guys like you bro. Grow a set man. Do your thing but don't ever kiss a girl's ass just to have them in your life. It's pathetic, weak and very, very unattractive. Just think about it. Would you respect a woman who did that to you? HELL NO. So imagine, you're doing this to her. So STOP. Right here, right now. Say, NO MORE. Like I said, grow a set and move on and don't look back. It's over. Again, I'm sorry, I know it hurts big time and all you're doing is thinking of the good times but my man, you're way to far up her arse and she's totally turned off so let her be. You're going to do terrific. I promise so don't even trip man. I know deep down you think you'll never meet someone like her and that's probably a good thing. Listen, if you only knew what I went through with my ex. I ended up looking like a total weak, beta, shameful man because I was so in to her but never ever again will I do this because I learned a valuable lesson and so will you. It's painful, VERY painful now but in due time your future love is going to totally reap the rewards. You're going to hook up, EVENTUALLY, with the hottest and most amazing woman so make sure you learn all your lessons and DON'T DO THEM AGAIN!!! LOL

 

You're right man. Its time to move on, easier said then done unfortunately. But your right. Time to start fresh and end this ****!

[mccluskeyj17]

Sometimes things happen for a reason. The saying sticks and stones may break my bone but word will never hurt me are not true. Many people have gone on talk shows because of what someone has said to them. Whether angry, jealous, upset, in order for a relationship to work you must watch what you say because once you say it, you cannot take it back. And apologizing don’t mean a thing if you keep saying mean and hurtful things every time you get upset, etc.

Although you were trying to make amends and rebuild the friendship is it worth playing yourself?Because from what you have shared she does not sound like she is interested in being in a relationship or being friends with you. And considering the distance she has probably moved on and hoping that you would read between the lines. Sure she accepted the upgrade on a new phone that she did not have to pay for, who wouldn’t if it was offered.

You already have your answer and know what you need to do. Stop spending your money on someone who is not interested in being your friend but who is willing to use you to get what she wants. Real friends don’t have to be bought. If you continue you will have no one to blame but yourself (being used and abused).

Take time to work on you and invest in yourself that you don’t continue to attract this type of female.