spman1956 Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 (edited) 'm married to a woman for about 12 years. We met on the Internet and were both in dysfunctional marriages. I was married to an alcoholic that was trying to steal my business. She was married to a man that ran around on her and wouldn't make a living. She is my fifth wife. I am her second. We are both involved in church. The problem in our relationship is that she does not like sex, or at least she doesn't like it with me, and to be honest with you, from day one of our relationships, the sex has not been good with her either. The second thing is that although she has a job with my company that allows her to work from home, making good money, she doesn't like it and she insist on doing work outside the home. She has three lines of work she does. She does house-cleaning, packing for people to move and estate sales. The first two, I don't mind at all, but the third one takes up way too much time to do, and she ends up storing the stuff she can't sell. She has two storage units costing $500 a month for both, and she junks up our home with the rest. Right now, as I write this my 2012 Toyota Highlander is packed to the ceiling with somebody's stuff. I've put my foot down and told her the estate sale business has to go. I wouldn't mind it if it made money and didn't cause so much friction in the home (I like a nice clean, tidy house), but by the time she puts in all the hours, pays workers to move the stuff, pays storage, rents trucks, she simply is not making a living with it. When she get's mad she explodes and throws up everything I've ever said or done for our entire life. She throws up my previous marriages and accuses me of saying things to her that I haven't said. All of this is cycles. She'll be ok for a while, but then she explodes, and it always ends up in a fight, no matter how hard you try to keep it on an adult level. The other thing is the sex. I'm 61, she's 58, but I still enjoy sex and her and I haven't been sexually active in years. If I turn to pornography, I experience guilt and a feeling of emptiness. I haven't formed a side relationship because I don't want to commit adultery, but I'm tempted. In a nutshell, I feel trapped and just feel like in the end, I'm not good at marriage and should leave her and remain a bachelor the remainder of my life. Edited February 3, 2017 by spman1956 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 You were unhappy with her sexual response on day one. Knowing this, why on earth did you marry her? As she is your fifth wife, I tend to agree with your thoughts that you're not good at marriage (or not good at finding the right partner) and you should stay single. 10 Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 Your problem is that you fear being alone. And that makes you get tied up with women with whom you are or compatible with. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 She is my fifth wife. spman1956, out of curiously why does someone marry 5 different women? After 2-3 failed marriages, it would seem one would give up on the concept and be happier living single. What gets you to the altar that fifth time? Mr. Lucky 2 Link to post Share on other sites
aileD Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 Divorce her. Don't get married again Link to post Share on other sites
MJJean Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 spman1956, out of curiously why does someone marry 5 different women? After 2-3 failed marriages, it would seem one would give up on the concept and be happier living single. What gets you to the altar that fifth time? Mr. Lucky Hope springs eternal. My friends mother is on her 6th marriage. She keeps marrying frogs hoping they'll turn into princes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted February 5, 2017 Share Posted February 5, 2017 At some point, you've moved past hope to delusion. Especially if we're talking about serial church weddings with all the trappings, vows and commitments... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
NTV Posted February 5, 2017 Share Posted February 5, 2017 I'm not sure if I understand. Are you asking strangers on the Internet for permission to use pornography? If so how would that be granted? Like a prescription? Use one softcore video 1 X a week for 15 mins and a hard core video once a month for 10 mins? Overdose at more than three or 60 mins a week? Lol I'm being funny but if that works. ... idk. Others have comments to help find root cause. I think the solution to root cause would be infinitely better for you but not sure that is worth working on given your current life expectancy. Use of porn for this purpose in marriage is a bandaid and not a permanent solution. If you understand that accept it and just need bandaid for now? You are an adult. Touch choices it sounds like. Link to post Share on other sites
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