LookAtThisPOst Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 (edited) I was going over some of the local profiles and saw a 45 year old woman in the area that I'd like to get to know. She has a lot of what I'm looking for, family values and such and all her kids are listed as over 18. Here I am like, "Cool, a young mom with adult kids over 18!" Oh wait a minute..., but she said she has 6 year old grand child that is a BIG part of her life and that said MUST LOVE children and not just say you love 'em. I'm not sure what that means, but I thought the benefit of being a grand parent is the ability to send them home to the parents after a time, right? To expect someone to LOVE kids, in general, is kind of asking a little too much? Is this telling of the nature of her relationship with her own children. Could she be one of those grandmother's where the parents tend to dump them on their grand parents a little too much to the point where she's moreso raising them than the actual parents? I hear that happens alot these days, grandparents raising the grand kids. It's little things like that that make me want to ask more questions. Thoughts? Edited February 3, 2017 by LookAtThisPOst Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 Ask more questions? You don't even know this woman. She doesn't have to explain her lifestyle/family situation to a complete stranger. You and she just aren't compatible. It's a clear next. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted February 3, 2017 Author Share Posted February 3, 2017 Ask more questions? You don't even know this woman. She doesn't have to explain her lifestyle/family situation to a complete stranger. You and she just aren't compatible. It's a clear next. More questions would be needed in this case. If the kid is around all the time, then it could be a problem, if not then no problem. S ometimes clarification is needed. Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 To expect someone to LOVE kids, in general, is kind of asking a little too much? Is this telling of the nature of her relationship with her own children No, it is not asking too much; and, no, it says nothing about the nature of her relationship with her own children. As was said, though, your questions clearly indicate that this is not something that you should pursue. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 I agree it's an unfair expectation, but if that grandkid is a big part of her life, I say thanks for the warning. Not all grandmothers cling to their grandkids like that, so don't write them all off. I came from a family where the grandmothers saw the kids once or twice a year and didn't really interact that much. But these days a lot of people are unfortunately enlisting their mothers back into service at a time they should be free from raising kids so that they can work and not pay daycare. Some of the grandmoms love it, some resent it and most would prefer to only see the kids when they want to, so they're not all like this one. Mothers sometimes lose their whole identity when they have kids and being a caretaker/mom/grandmom becomes their only identity. Those people aren't going to be much fun or very interesting, in my opinion, except to other parents who are like them. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 NO more questions needed, she has a 6 year old grandchild that is a BIG part of her life. YOU do not want a woman with small children. This woman essentially HAS a small child, the fact it is not her own child is immaterial. She has, through obligation or desire become a major player in this child's life Don't get involved here, as YOU are not really what she is looking for. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 I don't think you would be compatible. Move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 She isn't a match for you. Move on OP. It must be exhausting for you to be constantly analysing profiles and posting about things you see that you question. Stop questioning though, just learn to know when someone isn't for you. It would really help and it means you can skip to the next profile instead of seemingly being angst ridden by what they have put that you aren't keen on. I only knew one grandparent of mine - he wasn't a good man. I wish I had known the grandparents I lost before I was born though. I know so much about them but I missed out - and I wish I hadn't. That lady's little grand daughter is a lucky girl! And so is her grand mother. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Erik30 Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 Maybe the mom is having some problems so she has the kid a lot... or she just loves spending time with her grandkids. Either way, she's making it clear what you're getting into. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 To expect someone to LOVE kids, in general, is kind of asking a little too much? Is this telling of the nature of her relationship with her own children. Could she be one of those grandmother's where the parents tend to dump them on their grand parents a little too much to the point where she's moreso raising them than the actual parents? If it's what she wants in a partner, then she's not asking too much. And there are people who genuinely love kids, so it's quite possible she will find someone who fits the bill. Yes, she could be a grandmother who gets the child dumped on her. But she could equally be a grandmother who relishes time with the grandchild and frequently offers to have the child. At any rate, you are clearly cynical about the situation, so don't bother replying to her. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
bebe23 Posted February 5, 2017 Share Posted February 5, 2017 Thanking the Lord I don't live in Look At This Post's town, or am single, or on some kind of dating website. These poor ladies don't even KNOW him and yet he talks about them and judges what they put on a dating site. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
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