My Story

[kdon1]

Hello everyone. Sorry for the long post/ I really need some advice on this I'm hurting so much:

 

So I met her years ago through my best friend through social media. She is from Maryland, I'm from Dallas. We talked a lot and eventually was long distance "dating". We loved each other and all. In 2014 it got to a point where she wanted to see me and I wanted to see her but I couldn't financially. I was trying my best but I just couldn't. She gradually stopped talking to me and it hurt but I understood and got over it and she got in a relationship with her girlfriend.

 

Fast forward to 2015, I was thinking about her a lot, I never stopped really but it was more and more often. I was at a concert and something in me told me to send her a friend request on Facebook and she accepted immediately and messaged me. I never forgot her number so naturally we talked that night. A couple weeks passed by and we talked again nothing serious. On July 30th I posted a status about flying to L.A. and she commented on it and immediately text then called me. From that moment we talked night and day every day, even when I was in L.A. Through conversation I found out her ex cheated on her. I understood cause I've been there and understand how painful it is. I couldn't deny my feelings for her. She seemed to like me, all the while I'm trying my best to show her I'm a great guy, but she wanted to go with the flow which was hard for me but I did.

 

After she took her own trip to Vegas, I built some vacation time so I wanted to take a trip to Denver in November. Low and behold, she wanted to go to and said we we should go to Denver together. It was also her birthday month so everything was lining up perfectly. So I'm excited because I'm going to FINALLY after 8 years get to see the woman I want to be with so much but the lead up to the trip had some hiccups. She asked if I really want to be with someone like her and I said yes no doubt. She felt like I was an obsessive person towards her but it wasn't that, it's just with her being so far away, I have to try harder to gain her attention. I sent her flowers, gave her money so she could buy her some stuff for the trip and gave my half for the room.

 

So we took the trip November 3rd. She flew from Maryland I flew from Dallas late and we met at the hotel. She was sleep so I picked up my room key and it took me about 20 minuted to build up the courage to walk in because the realization hit that I'm about to finally see the woman I want a future with. I finally went in and saw her laying there and I couldn't believe it. Out of respect I stayed on the couch until she woke up called me in the room.

 

The trip itself and being there with her was amazing. I found myself just staring at her getting lost in her presence because I couldn't fathom being in the same space with such a beautiful, intelligent, unique and special woman. She didn't want to talk about relationship stuff she mentioned going with the flow again and I couldn't say anything. I made some dumb mistakes there like stepping on her foot accidentally and falling asleep missing our dinner not waking her up. I was so nervous. I made up for that though. During our time there I got her whatever she wanted since we were celebrating her birthday also. Took her shopping, got dinner, payed for all the Lyft rides and more with no issue because I care about her. I showered her also with my attention and tender love and care.

 

So the day comes where we have to leave. November 8th. It was a sad but wonderful day. Our gates were on the opposite sides of the airport and I flew out after her so I got to see her off. She let me hold her hand and I got her a couple more things she wanted from the airport and walked her to her gate. We kissed a lot because it was sad. I saw tears in her eyes even though she wouldn't admit it. As she stood in line getting ready to go I told her I don't want to be without you. She did a shhh motion with her finger to her mouth which hurt. We kissed on final time and I left to my gate crying my heart out til I got back to Dallas. She texted me not to be sad.

 

So immediately after the trip she mentioned to me that she wanted to live together in Denver. I'm totally on board. She described it as "Its like I'm going out to dinner and you could come too". So we started serious talks about it. She told her mother, I told mine so we both start saving more working towards that goal. It was great.

 

She started having some bad luck here and there and I was right there to support her in every way I can. Around November. 29th is when everything changed. To give you an idea of how much we talked, she would call me when she got up, before her workout, after her workout, before school, after school, on the way to work, during work, after work etc.. So all that suddenly stopped cold. But I see her posting on Facebook and Snapchat constantly. I started to worry so I texted her and told her I noticed something was or is wrong and I'm here for you and I don't wanna lose you and all. She said she was feeling lost and down. I told her she could tell me anything but she chose to keep it bottled up because she said she couldn't afford a breakdown right now so I respected that.

 

Still no calls or texts. My birthday on Dec 13th came and we only talked a little bit. She didn't get me anything for my bday or Christmas which I didn't ask for anything but I thought at least a card through the mail you know? So the last time I've heard her voice was two days after on Dec 15th. It took me an hour to rehearse what I wanted to say. I called her and said I've noticed the change and its scaring me because we would talk no matter what the issue was. As soon as I said "I've noticed the distance" she went off. She said "you know what its too much, your too much, it's like your stepping on my neck and I can't breathe, I'm figuring things out, I need space, do you understand what space is" And I was shocked to silence because I was going with the flow like she wanted, I only increased my efforts because I felt I was losing her. So she went out that day to finish Christmas shopping and hung up.

 

I sent her Christmas gifts she thanked me that day through text and I haven't heard anything from her. The last time I texted asking "Hey when you free can we please talk" she replied "At work and I'm sick" I replied after just saying "sorry you're not feeling well, I hope we can talk soon" and no reply". Still haven't heard anything. What hurts is that I feel she doesn't want me, because she is still doing everything but talk to me. I text her but she doesn't reply. I'm scared to call cause I know she will be mad. What I don't understand is how she could drop me when I haven't done anything wrong at all.

 

All I want is to be with her. I tried hard be cause shes 1000 miles away and so many people like her. I don't know what to do because I've put so much into this, knowing her all these years and she just stop talking to me. I've given her the benefit of the doubt and trust her, but when I see her posting all day and stuff I see on her snapchat posting a picture which looks like a date with someone, all these things says she never plans on talking to me again and that destroys me. I truly hope she didn't say she needed space just to let me go...I'm not perfect but I know I've been a good man to her.

[justwhoiam]

Your story is unclear. Is the girl you're talking about bisexual? Or is she a lesbian? Have you asked her that directly?

Without such information, it's hard to say anything about this.

[kdon1]

I never asked her that directly, but I assume bisexual.

[Life lessons]

To me, regardless of sexuality, she's definitely not into you. I would suggest stopping the contact in your part. See if she reaches out to you. She stated to you that she felt you were smothering her. That is a big turn off to most women. Regardless of your feelings, I would make it a point not to contact her anymore. At all. If she makes contact, wait a few days before replying back. Make her chase you. If she doesn't reach out to you then you'll know she's no longer interested. Which from what you've stated I would say that's already the case!

[kdon1]

Thanks for the advice and taking time out to read/respond.