simon_uk Posted July 22, 2005 Share Posted July 22, 2005 It has been just over three months very limited contact and last night about 10:30 I get a message that simply say I think I still Love You then another that says confused. Then one more that says, You got a new girlfriend I understand if you have youre a cool guy, just ignore me!!! What am I supposed to do? I just replied and said I am Confused!! Then she says are you on the computer? I replied and said it is on but I am watching the UFC on TV. No reply this norning? What is all that about? Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedInOC Posted July 22, 2005 Share Posted July 22, 2005 Originally posted by simon_uk It has been just over three months very limited contact and last night about 10:30 I get a message that simply say I think I still Love You then another that says confused. Then one more that says, You got a new girlfriend I understand if you have youre a cool guy, just ignore me!!! What am I supposed to do? I just replied and said I am Confused!! Then she says are you on the computer? I replied and said it is on but I am watching the UFC on TV. No reply this norning? What is all that about? Ignore her. Please. Ignore her. Link to post Share on other sites
upsetnhurt Posted July 22, 2005 Share Posted July 22, 2005 Simon, think clearly now......for all the hurt that this woman has bestowed on you over the past months, is this really a person that you can even conisder being the one for you? Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted July 22, 2005 Share Posted July 22, 2005 You may want to go ahead and drop the 'limited contact' to 'no contact'. If you go back and read your threads you'll see that what she is doing is fairly predictable: as is the horrible outcome if you fall for it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author simon_uk Posted July 22, 2005 Author Share Posted July 22, 2005 Well I did fall for it again. I sent her a message this morning that simply said I dont know if you were drunk last night and I dont want to get hurt again so maybe I shouldnt say anything but I would prefer it if things were different. Her reply Im so sorry, I was thinking of you yesterday and had a glass of wine, I am so sorry. I told her to delete my number and she replied OK Im sorry, are you ok? No I am not, I paid the price when I lost you, please dont torture me anymore. There isnt a day goes by that I dont miss you and I am NOT drunk. She replied with I really am so sorry puddin!! Could I keep my mouth shut? No I couldnt. I said So am I, so am I. Maybe one day you will understand what you meant to me. Yes people I know that I am stupid but to paraphrase one of your tags Lucrezia, if somebody hands you something hand it back with twice the enthusiasm. Link to post Share on other sites
queenie01 Posted July 22, 2005 Share Posted July 22, 2005 Simon, who broke up with who? And why?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author simon_uk Posted July 22, 2005 Author Share Posted July 22, 2005 She broke up with me because she didnt think I would commit to her when she didnt get a ring for christmas. I had planned it for her 30th in April. We broke up in March, her saying she wasn't IN love anymore and had lost faith in me. Link to post Share on other sites
queenie01 Posted July 22, 2005 Share Posted July 22, 2005 Interesting!!! Sounds similar to my ex, although it wasnt to do with marrying me, he just broke up with me out of the blue saying "somethings missing" and he just didnt feel it anymore. Like you and your ex its been almost 3 months and the only real communication we have had is thru email but i have seen him several times. It really sucks and I feel for you. I dont know what i would do if i got a text like you got! Its very obvious that she isnt over you.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author simon_uk Posted July 22, 2005 Author Share Posted July 22, 2005 What even though she was drunk you still think she isnt over me? this is the second time she has done this now. The first time was after amonth, she left a love song on my voice mail. When I reacted to it, she said she didnt mean it she was drunk. Now this!!!! Queenie, it is awful and I wouldn't wish it on anybody, it was much easier when I didnt hear from her at all. Link to post Share on other sites
queenie01 Posted July 22, 2005 Share Posted July 22, 2005 Peoples true feelings come out when they are drunk...my ex hasnt drunk dialed me once, guess he doesnt think of me at all... I know its the worst feeling but at least you know she is thinking of you. I guess your best bet would be to just not respond from now on tho...that is what will make her mad. Link to post Share on other sites
Author simon_uk Posted July 22, 2005 Author Share Posted July 22, 2005 Well I doubt I will hear from her again as I asked her to delete my number and she agreed. I am so gutted it is untrue, I wish somebody would bring her back to me or take her out of my head. Link to post Share on other sites
queenie01 Posted July 22, 2005 Share Posted July 22, 2005 I feel the same exact way as you...i wish someone would open my exs eyes...I wish he would realize what we had together. Link to post Share on other sites
Author simon_uk Posted July 22, 2005 Author Share Posted July 22, 2005 The only time they realise is when it is too late, guaranteed. She said "got a new girlfriend, I understand you are a cool guy, ignore me" The thing is I havent got a new girlfriend but I can guarantee the moment I do is the moment she will tell me she loves me when she is sober! I feel like texting her now!!! She was out of my mind for a good few weeks until this!!! By the Way when I said we had limited contact, it was NC on my behalf the only time we were in contact was when she initiated it. Link to post Share on other sites
queenie01 Posted July 22, 2005 Share Posted July 22, 2005 You are right, thats what happened with my last ex...he would resurface over and over and i always responded to him. He said thats what kept him going and made his decision ok was because i was still there...finally i got fed up and said have a nice life...it was then that he realized what a mistake he made...but by then i had met my current ex already and was sooo happy. It just amazes me when people end relationships for no real reason, i guess thats the hard part for me. My relationship was going great, we had future plans, never fought etc..things were awesome, our relationship just got a bit boring, routine but who's doesnt after 9 months. Just makes me wonder what he really felt about me if he was able to throw the towel in and walk away that easily with no explaination. I am sad but I guess it was a blessing in disguise, i shouldnt be with someone like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author simon_uk Posted July 22, 2005 Author Share Posted July 22, 2005 I think you are right Queenie but I dont know now how to tell her or make her realise that she really will lose me for good if she doesn't sort herself out. I mean I can hardly text her now and tell her can I? The only way would be for me to ignore her the next time it happens if it happens but that could be another month or two down the line, if at all!!! You know I would move on, in fact I had a date with a girl a few weeks ago, we got on great, then we had another and she said that she didnt see things going where I did. SO I said ok, seeya. Earlier this week she contacts me and says maybe she was a bit hasty and didnt give things a chance and she wishes things were different between us. She said she has missed me. SO I think Ok she was honest Ill give her another chance. SO I text her yesterday and say are you still missing me? She replied with, it is good to be hearing from you although I am thinking of moving abroad!!!! What is is with people not knowing what they want!!!!! Even more reason for me to be pleased when the ex says she thinks she still loves me. Only to be told sorry the next day! Link to post Share on other sites
queenie01 Posted July 22, 2005 Share Posted July 22, 2005 They are all a bunch of idiots!!! I think my ex is a commitment phobe to be honest but who knows...for all i know he just wasnt that into me. I definitely think you should ignore her. Dont give her the satisfaction of responding to her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author simon_uk Posted July 22, 2005 Author Share Posted July 22, 2005 Yeah the thing is I do love her and I do want to be with her! Sucks!!! Link to post Share on other sites
queenie01 Posted July 22, 2005 Share Posted July 22, 2005 Trust me I know exactly how you feel... i still love my ex too and its unfortunate that they gave us up, but i do think its their loss. Link to post Share on other sites
kimmi46 Posted July 22, 2005 Share Posted July 22, 2005 Simon, I hope she does move abroad. Has anyone ever heard of "blocking email"? You can block her from writing to you. In my opinion, she is just playing games with your head. It is easier to get over her if you have NO contact with her. Go forward into the realistic chance of meeting a good person who will enhance your life. You cannot hang on to the past and hope for it to get better and be different somehow. It is what it is. The way I always deal with situations and relationships is to weigh the pros and cons. If it feels more painful than it feels good, then it is time to let it go and move forward with life. Some relationships just aren't worth the pain and agony of trying to hang on to them. She is confused, and you are confused and this is normal for this phase of the breaking up process. Let it go, and have no contact, and I assure you life will get better. Kim Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedInOC Posted July 22, 2005 Share Posted July 22, 2005 Originally posted by simon_uk Well I did fall for it again. I sent her a message this morning that simply said I dont know if you were drunk last night and I dont want to get hurt again so maybe I shouldnt say anything but I would prefer it if things were different. Her reply Im so sorry, I was thinking of you yesterday and had a glass of wine, I am so sorry. I told her to delete my number and she replied OK Im sorry, are you ok? No I am not, I paid the price when I lost you, please dont torture me anymore. There isnt a day goes by that I dont miss you and I am NOT drunk. She replied with I really am so sorry puddin!! Could I keep my mouth shut? No I couldnt. I said So am I, so am I. Maybe one day you will understand what you meant to me. Yes people I know that I am stupid but to paraphrase one of your tags Lucrezia, if somebody hands you something hand it back with twice the enthusiasm. You said way to much, Mate! Never let a woman know how badly she has hurt you. You need to remain CALM, CONFIDENT and SELF-ASSURED. Stop texting her! Let her stew! Link to post Share on other sites
queenie01 Posted July 22, 2005 Share Posted July 22, 2005 I really think the only way to get the best of them is to ignore them...make them wonder etc... Like for me its goign to kill me tommorrow to not wish my ex a happy bday but I am willing to bet he expects me to acknowledge in someway shape or form. I hope it makes him think.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author simon_uk Posted July 22, 2005 Author Share Posted July 22, 2005 Yep, I realise i said too much but that is me I am afraid, always speak my mind, always speak the truth. One day she will realise I am a gift. I have stopped texting her and I have never ever initiated any contact, I just reply in a honest fashion. Link to post Share on other sites
kimmi46 Posted July 22, 2005 Share Posted July 22, 2005 Simon, I realize that you do not initiate the contact. But by responding to her, even if it is honestly and saying what you really feel, is keeping the lines of communication open between yourself and her. You will heal more quickly if you do not read what she has to say, and do not respond to her. She knows you are interested in reading what she has to write, and all it is doing is hurting you. Just go to the email section under privacy selections, and type in her email address where it says BLOCK person from writing. That way you can go forward my friend. Yes, it hurts, and pain takes time to heal. I hope you will allow yourself the privildge to stop being hurt by her. Have you suffered enough yet?? Think about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author simon_uk Posted July 22, 2005 Author Share Posted July 22, 2005 Yes I have suffered far more than I want to. You see Kim, I have stuck to the rules of NC. I have not begged, pleaded or chased. I acceped her decision and tried to move on. People you use NC to heal and sometimes it has the effect of making them come back into your life. With me this has happened. Did I want it to, yes of course, did I want to heal? Yes of course. So I start healing, then a month after the breakup she leaves a love song on my voice mail. Did it affect me? yes of course, i think she is not over me and is still interested. Turns out she says she was drunk. Two months later and I am moving on. Do i still love her and miss her? Of course but I am getting on with it and continue NC. She sends a text saying she thinks she still loves me. Again, did it affect me? yes because again I think she isnt over me and is still interested. Perhaps she was drunk I dont know, so I send her a message to find out, she again blames drink. So I tell her, look, this is how I feel, I miss you and it just isnt fair, just delete my number and leave me alone. Said too much I know but she has to understand what she is doing to me! Link to post Share on other sites
kimmi46 Posted July 22, 2005 Share Posted July 22, 2005 I understand that you are still hopeful that she just may still care, and that the two of you could reconcile. NC (No Contact) to me means NO contact. When you reply and say anything at all to her, you are having contact. She is reading what you wrote. Granted, you are only responding to her contact, but NO contact is the way to go Simon. Try it for 1 week, ignore and toss her emails without reading them, and without responding to them, and just see what happens. Do it for yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
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