He wants to do the right thing ending the affair

[Taxed]

Oh God, yes. MM has daughters, one of whom I spent an afternoon with. My father too cheated on my mom. It devastated her and she never forgave him although they remained married. But the bitterness and anger were part of our everyday lives. How I could do the same thing to some other woman, some other family... shameful is the only word that seems appropriate...

 

I have met both of ExMMs daughters and their son - I never understood why he wanted me to meet his children. Anyone has any thoughts on why "they" would do this - to play house?

 

My father cheated on my mother as well - several times.

 

So, should we try to summon Freud?

[Taxed]

I saw my name!

 

Yes, I suffered the entire 2016 having to see xmm each week. His wife knew what had happened as did my husband but they agreed on the phone to let us both stay as long as we had no contact.

 

I would say it was the most torturous experience of my life, as I got to experience first hand how I had meant absolutely nothing to him and how he moved on within mere moments of it being over (because you see, they never actually were in the relationship with us like they so claimed). He could not understand why I did not just get over it, move on and be friendly in our common workspace. He would get annoyed at me as each week I'd change the rules - one week I'd act like he didn't exist, the next I'd be mean, the next I'd try friends.

 

I could not wrap my head around the fact that someone who had said they loved me could turn on me and treat me like this. Of course now, how stupid of me, why would I expect any better from a man like that. He treated me the same way he treated his wife. Like a fool.

 

I suppose it was my pride, maybe my complete lack of self worth. I don't think I was like that before, I was weak definitely. Gullible. After the affair though...I considered suicide on a regular basis.

 

In the end his ego got him as he kept bothering me and his wife found out and pulled him out. I'm happy to say that a year later, I am doing so much better. I feel mostly like my old self again, but it took an entire year, and I lose friends along the way, people who did not understand what I had been through in 2015...2016...2017...what a waste.

 

I can honestly say I did not think I would recover. I felt shamed, ruined and you cannot get better continually seeing the person making you feel this way. The only answer is to get away and forget the person exists.

 

But now its 2018 and I am better. I am stronger. I did lose something of myself but I'm better for it. I'd like to say forgive and forget but na.....the other day I saw a picture of him and his wife on FB and he looked 10 years older, like an old man, lost a lot of hair the last year, it was in tuffs on his head.

 

I just smiled. I'll always hate him.

 

Ha, that made me smile too. Thank you so much for posting, MidnightBlue1980. It may sound crazy but in my own darkness I have gathered my own strength, hope and resolution from following your development. I have visited a very dark place of desperation and despair for the last year, much too often. Being in an A for years and being in a this sort of relationship - this stuff changes you in a very profound way. I am not willing to forgive either and I do not wish him well.