Mariie12 Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 I'm 24 years old and about the beginning of September I started a great new job. I was in a relationship for about three and a half years when I started...not a great relationship the romance had been long gone...but I had always been faithful and never had any intentions on cheating or meeting someone new. We'll all that changed when I started talking to let's call him john. It was like a whirlwind. We went out for dinner and that night we made out and two nights later we had the most amazing sex ever (I hadn't had sex of any kind for about two years before this) and things just started off quick but amazing. He's a great guy. He cares about me but he is married and has a kid but they live in Alabama where he is from. He has an apartment here close to work and I practically live here. But the way are schedule is we work for four days and are off for four days and on his off days he goes back to Alabama...he says it's only for his kid and when he's home he sleeps on the couch and he doesn't touch his wife or sleep in the room with her or anything like that. This is hard enough to deal with. But a couple weeks ago I saw a text conversation between him and his wife and the way he was talking to her left me visibly shaking and my stomach hurting. Always saying I love you and blah blah blah...she even asked him if she was the reason they don't have sex anymore. But he painted me a picture of them barely speaking and he's only still married for the kid and after I saw the texts he said that he HAS TO talk like that because she has threatened to take the kid away and he doesn't want that. I told him I would never tell him to choose or get a divorce...but that I'm also not going to wait forever and he told me I'd only have to wait one year. I said that's fine. I love this man so goddamn much. It I've never been in this situation before and my emotions are all over the place. My anxiety and depression are through the roof the majority of the time. When we are not fighting things are amazing, but when we do fight it's not that great. I just need to know if I'm being stupid by forcing myself to believe him because deep down I don't fully believe everything he tells me but I have no one to turn to and if I bring up my real thoughts to him he just blows them off. Someone please give me some advice Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mariie12 Posted February 4, 2017 Author Share Posted February 4, 2017 He is 41 years old Link to post Share on other sites
BuddyX Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 Oldest line in the book "My wife doesn't understand me." Second line, " Trust me I'm not like all the other guys who cheat on their wives, I'm different. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 Run. You're too young to be wrapped up in this. This older man is using you and he isn't in love with you, he isn't going to leave his wife and child to be with you. End it and walk away. Then decide to either fix your relationship with your boyfriend or end it. Cheating on him isn't right and he deserves better. If you don't love him, then break up with him so he can heal and find someone else. To stay and cheat is just making things worse. Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 Dump the cheating husband and dump the useless boyfriend, if you haven't already. The useless boyfriend has taught you that you value loyalty and love. The cheating husband has taught you that you value hot, hot sex, and that men can be real pieces of sh*t. Why not have both of the good things, without the drama of being the bad thing? Go find someone local who can f*ck you silly. You might have to go through a few guys who can be that, and be a man you respect and admire. Do you respect and admire Mr. Cheating Husband? It's doubtful, and if you do, ask yourself why. Anyway, learn from everything you do. There are lessons in this for you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
FoundMyStrength Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 But a couple weeks ago I saw a text conversation between him and his wife and the way he was talking to her left me visibly shaking and my stomach hurting. Always saying I love you and blah blah blah...she even asked him if she was the reason they don't have sex anymore. But he painted me a picture of them barely speaking and he's only still married for the kid and after I saw the texts he said that he HAS TO talk like that because she has threatened to take the kid away and he doesn't want that. This man is doing what all xMM do. He is telling you what you want to hear, so that you will keep the sex and ego boosts coming. You're listening to his words, when you should be listening to his actions. He is texting his wife he loves her, she is insinuating that they used to have an active sex life but no longer have one (likely due to your affair with him). He is lying to you both, and given the convenience of his job/living arrangement, will probably continue to do so. Why disrupt his life when he can keeping having his cake and eating it too? Drop this guy. He's bad news. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Fruitee Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 Also whats up with 1 year? Why he needs that? Leave him. You got what you needed. Its time to move on. You dont really love him. You just enjoy being with him because you feel wanted again and so on. Work on yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
BTDT2012 Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 This man is almost old enough to be your father. And he has a wife and child. Stop allowing him to eat cake. If he will lie to his wife he will also lie to you. And make sure he is using a condom with you. Link to post Share on other sites
aileD Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 You're gonna waste five years on this guy that you can't get back. Five years and the result will be the same today as it will be then: he won't choose you. If you aren't careful, you're going to miss out. You could meet a nice single guy, settle down, buy a house and pop out a couple kids in the time you'll spend wasting on this dirty old cheating man. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aileD Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 (edited) ^^^^. And I can say that because my 41 year old husband just got out of an affair with a 21 year old. He was her boss also. He promised her all sorts of the same things for almost two years. She lost her relationship with her family, she got kicked out of her parents house, she got kicked out of her church, she gave up her apartment because he told her he would move in to another with her and he didn't and when he left her for good--she's was sleeping in her car . He intended to leave me. He thought he would. He didn't. because when fantasy meets reality, reality usually wins. These men built their whole lives already. Their wives aren't horrible, they're just not getting 100% attention all the time anymore....they think they want more, to feel special, to have sex with someone different, but when it comes time to leave their family for you? They don't leave. Mine didn't leave 99% of the women here's didn't leave. And yours won't either Edited February 4, 2017 by aileD 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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