Suzie Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 Sam Obitz is the guy that wrote "Been There, Done That? DO THIS!" Orbitz is that travel website. (if anyone prefers to spend $12 or so on a great book instead of hundreds for therapy, here is a good start-- ) I wrote to the author about three months ago, and he wrote me back! anyway, I know that book well and feel indebted to it. I read it last Christmas and it has helped me a great deal, especially with the Tea form exercises. They really help me deal with all my anxiety. Have those TEA forms been a big help to you? I can't believe this thread is still active. I bought this book on cbt on all of your advice here back in September of last year and have really taken to the exercises and don't get so bent out of shape at every little thing that happens to me anymore. I know I still have a long way to go but I am more hopeful than I have ever been and wanted to thank everyone for turning me on to cbt! Link to post Share on other sites
PYT Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 That is really great to hear Suzie I'm glad this thread is still alive as it is full of encouraging info on cbt, which as you know has helped me a great deal. Take care. Link to post Share on other sites
theduke Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 I can't believe this thread is still active. I bought this book on cbt on all of your advice here back in September of last year and have really taken to the exercises and don't get so bent out of shape at every little thing that happens to me anymore. I know I still have a long way to go but I am more hopeful than I have ever been and wanted to thank everyone for turning me on to cbt! I'm glad to have helped someone! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 What you learn in CBT, are tools you will continue to use forever. The anxiety may not go away completely, but you'll learn how to cope better. It won't take over your life and make you feel so awful. I know with me, I will always have some sort of anxiety - Even right now, my good days are happening much more. And when I do have a rough day, I am able to recognize my limitations and know what not to do (meaning if I am having alot of anxiety, I am not going to drink coffee, eat sugar/junk food and I won't be out and about putting myself in situations where my anxiety might take over...) and just let it pass. Not to give into it and let it spin out of control. Most of all, the best mindset is NOT to think or analize it too much. To accept a bad day as just that and know that the next day will be better. Stay positive and don't look TOO far ahead in life. Focus on what's infront of you and enjoy life now. Link to post Share on other sites
kitten chick Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 I tried CBT. Didn't work for me at all, in fact, I think it made things worse. Glad it worked for someone out there. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 I know. And some people find it doesn't help them, some find it does. I really believe though finding the RIGHT therapist is the most important part of therapy. Being able to fully trust and feel safe with the Therapist. Also, it takes time to see if it will work. When I first started CBT, I wanted to quit and run from it all as I was terrified! I stuck with it and I'm glad I did. Hope all is OK with you KC. Link to post Share on other sites
kitten chick Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 Thanks WWIU. I did it for about two months. I left my therapist a couple of weeks ago. My friend who is a therapist agreed that my CBT therapist was not a good one after some of the things I told her. I have to find a new one but I'm not going back to CBT. It seems to help loads of people, it's just not guaranteed. Link to post Share on other sites
PYT Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 I know. And some people find it doesn't help them, some find it does. I really believe though finding the RIGHT therapist is the most important part of therapy. Being able to fully trust and feel safe with the Therapist. Also, it takes time to see if it will work. When I first started CBT, I wanted to quit and run from it all as I was terrified! I stuck with it and I'm glad I did. Hope all is OK with you KC. This and being dedicated to using the tools everyday were the keys for me. Link to post Share on other sites
PYT Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 What you learn in CBT, are tools you will continue to use forever. The anxiety may not go away completely, but you'll learn how to cope better. It won't take over your life and make you feel so awful. I know with me, I will always have some sort of anxiety - Even right now, my good days are happening much more. And when I do have a rough day, I am able to recognize my limitations and know what not to do (meaning if I am having alot of anxiety, I am not going to drink coffee, eat sugar/junk food and I won't be out and about putting myself in situations where my anxiety might take over...) and just let it pass. Not to give into it and let it spin out of control. Most of all, the best mindset is NOT to think or analize it too much. To accept a bad day as just that and know that the next day will be better. Stay positive and don't look TOO far ahead in life. Focus on what's infront of you and enjoy life now. Whichway this may be your best post yet Link to post Share on other sites
PYT Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 Thanks WWIU. I did it for about two months. I left my therapist a couple of weeks ago. My friend who is a therapist agreed that my CBT therapist was not a good one after some of the things I told her. I have to find a new one but I'm not going back to CBT. It seems to help loads of people, it's just not guaranteed. Sadly there are lots of good and bad therapists out there and it sounds like you had a bad one. Also many therapists claim to be doing CBT but are not really practicing CBT. I hope you find something that works for you Kitten. If you ever do decide to try CBT again, get a recommendation from a CBT accredited university program like UCLA, Univ of Penn, BU or Stanford. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 Whichway this may be your best post yet Thanks PYT! Man, you're good for my ego! Seriously, that was a very nice thing to say and it means alot to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kara Posted May 30, 2006 Author Share Posted May 30, 2006 Hello everyone, can't believe the thread is still going! i have been away from the forum for more than 6 months with lots happening, lost my job, had a serious period of "down", found another one now and it's spring: time to reconnect i guess. i couldn't carry on with the acting class- it was way too much pressure and i felt physically ill when thought of going back. done some reading on anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder recently though. starting to see more and more similarities between the two lately. currently looking into eye movement desensitization and reprocessing method or EMDR, a method used in posttraumatic stress, wondering if it would help social anxiety. i am so resistant to be told how to think at the moment, can't go anywhere near cbt. Has anyone tried EMDR? Is it something I can learn on my own? Link to post Share on other sites
Avalon Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 Hi guys, I'm sorry if this is a bit long but there is three parts. First I want to talk about my first hand experience of being introverted, and then the second half I want to talk about a friend who is in a hard position in his life because of some mental issues and I am worried about his mental safety as well as his future plans which rely on a healthy mind. And for the third part I want to talk about my brother who aswell is going through some tough times. I read the first few posts of this thread and I had the same problem... I was extremely introverted and had a hard time communicating with people. I just ended up either sitting there and not talking, kind of like just sitting there at the corner of the table sort of thing. I noticed that this wasn't what I liked about myself and I started forcing myself to go out to places with more strangers and forced myself to be more open. I also noticed that my nervousness was caused partly because I didn't know what to say. Basically it was really hard to communicate because I couldn't think of anything to say and it made me very quiet and introverted. The more I was like that the less I talked and the more shy and nervous I got. So after I decided that I didn't want to be like that anymore, everyone else I met I tried has hard as I can to be more loose and open. Speaking my mind and even being silly some times to break the ice and get the other people more loose aswell. After a while it became just another thing, talking to people became much easier and now I'm not nearly as shy anymore when I talk to people. And I don't get nearly as nervous. And I have no trouble, stress, or nervousness, meeting new people. So basically I trained myself to not be introverted anymore. I don't know if there was anything like this in the thread already but I think it might help just in case. Since I've done this I notice other people in my life that are introverted as well and have a very hard time meeing new people and getting involved. For example one of my friends, all he does is sit at home on his computer and sometimes go to his dads friends house. But over all he has no friends other than me. I fear for his mental safety because he is in a hard situation. His mother lives in a whole other place so he lives with his dad who is an alcoholic. He has a very difficult life and has been diagnosed with depression once before. Alot of people in my life, including the person I live with, are suffering from depression and from second hand experience (and some very stressful situations of my own resulting in temporary depression) I noticed that the best thing to do to try and fight off depression is Human Interaction. Not just like talking to your dad every once in a while. I mean going out and hanging out with friends, going to meet people, talking to people, real genuine human interaction. And in his case he can't do this because of his introvertedness mixed with his depression he is unmotivated to get out and change. I don't know if this makes much sense, I've been up all night and I am quite tired but my question is: What do you think the best thing to do is to help my friend? I've tried bringing him out with me to hang out with people but he ends up not talking or interacting very much eventhough he says he had fun. Is this something he has to do on his own because I don't think he has the self consiousness to discover his problem nor the motivation or willing ness to change it. He is dropping out of school because of this problem and I'm very worried about him. Sometimes he dissappears for weeks at a time, I don't know what he does since he has no friends but it worries me. I feel that if he starts interacting more like I did he will become more mentally healthy, as have I. I was in the same position as him but I realised it was bad and changed. I don't know if this is the right approach, if it isn't maybe someone out there would know what I can do to help him. The best thing I've thought of is getting him out of his house where lives his alcoholic abusive dad and his brother who is not much better and splitting an appartment with him. At least then he will cut off most of the stress of his every day life. Another person that is in the same sort of mental loop is my brother. He suffers from diabetes and in the younger years of our lives we we're taken away from our parents and placed in a foster home because they we're 'not fit to take care of us' due to mental instability (basically my family has a bad record of mental stability... depression and the like). I think this scared him very deeply on top of his disease and even he thinks that this caused him to have extreme social issues much like I discussed in part two. I, fortunately, was young enough when this happened to not have impacted me as much and I seem to be the only one in my family that doesn't have extreme mental issues YET. He lives on his own now and works for a business doing tech support and is really disliking the job. Basically just the same kind of state of mind/personality as my friend. Just depressed and introverted. Maybe I haven't done enough research so maybe this is all just one kind of section. Maybe it's all just sideaffects of depression and I'm posting in the wrong section and I can't do anything about it to help them at all. But I have to assume that I can because I care about these people and I don't want to see them like this. I'm sorry if this is too long, or doesn't make sense.. I'm very tired and I kind of just needed to talk about this... this helps me to think about the situations in different angles. But if you do have some info for me or words of wisdom, I would really appreciate it. Aswell if this was already covered I'm sorry I have not read the whole 6 pages in the thread. Link to post Share on other sites
PYT Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 Thanks PYT! Man, you're good for my ego! Seriously, that was a very nice thing to say and it means alot to me. Hi Whichway, been crazy the past few months and this is my first visit here in quite sometime. Thank you for the sincere thank you and sorry for such a slow reply. How are you doing? I am burning up this summer but otherwise life is pretty good for me right now. What's new with you? I hope you are doing well and I'll try reply quicker in the future:o Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 Life is okay. Hot as heck too, and sometimes that activates my anxiety. I just take it in stride... Had 2 weeks up at the cottage, so that was a fun getaway. Got back last week. Didn't have much anxiety up there, so that was a big plus! Sounds like you're enjoying your summer. Stay cool!! Link to post Share on other sites
PYT Posted August 8, 2006 Share Posted August 8, 2006 Life is okay. Hot as heck too, and sometimes that activates my anxiety. I just take it in stride... Had 2 weeks up at the cottage, so that was a fun getaway. Got back last week. Didn't have much anxiety up there, so that was a big plus! Sounds like you're enjoying your summer. Stay cool!! Other than the unusual heat and humidity my summer is going pretty well. I know what you mean about the heat activating your anxiety because that has happened to me too but not yet this summer thank god! Cottages sound nice. I am going to try and get away for at least a few days with my family before summer ends. Take care and keep in touch! Link to post Share on other sites
JohnM Posted August 20, 2006 Share Posted August 20, 2006 Hullo All, Well I suppose this is the right place to post after searching about, I knew there was a social anxiety post somewhere Maybe this should be stickied, although it hasn't alot of pages alot of people may find this thread is the place for their problem. I don't seem to have changed much since I last talked about my self confidence a little on LS. I still have problems speaking when in a group of people who are talking amongst one another. I tend to close up when around people I don't know well or when amongst people I know when theres a person I don't know with us. I tend to wait for my time to speak and want to wait for a pause in talking to say what I want to say because I'm a polite, patient person but this tends not to work. More often than not I'll sit back and let the conversation pass me by because I find it the easy way out. I still want to get past all this as I'm heading back to Uni next month and although I did alot of new things last year its still not where I want to be. I want to be more confident in all areas of socialising whether it be girls, talking in groups, to new people and in front of groups in presentations. I can try to push myself so far, but I'm not really sure of how to go about this. Any help is appreciated and I'll answer any questions asap. Thanks in advance. John Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 21, 2006 Share Posted August 21, 2006 Have you done the "talk to yourself infront of mirror" technique? Link to post Share on other sites
JohnM Posted August 21, 2006 Share Posted August 21, 2006 Hmm, no. I haven't read past half the thread yet though. Reminds me of The Sims 2 where you talk to the mirror to raise charisma Maybe it'll work I'll go check back through now. Anything in particualr I should talk about? I may get bored talking to myself, I've heard it all before I had thought about this the other day but I don't want people to hear me talking to myself in the mirror Link to post Share on other sites
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