How long will NC take?

[Alison_09]

I had a pretty bad breakup around a month ago. This happened over phone, and he broke up with me. A few days later he said that he wanted to get back together with me and that he regretted it and still loved me and promised he would change. I said okay, and we agreed to try and take things slow between us. About 4 days later, he was being cold and distant. I asked him why, and he told me that he changed his mind and that he didn't mean what he said about wanting to get back together. I was so angry and confused. A few days later I begged him to talk to me in person because I had so many questions and wanted more clarity. He refused to talk to me, and said he would only answer my questions by text, not even a phone call. I asked why he didn't break up with me in person, and he said it was because he just didn't want to see me. He told me other things like that he never really liked me that much when we first met and he just thought I was "alright." I asked why he didn't break up with me then and he said that he should have. He admitted that he led me on for about a year and was faking it, and that seeing me and talking to me felt like a chore. I asked how he could do that to me knowing how much I cared for him and if he felt any guilt for doing this and he said no and that he very rarely felt emotions. I was crushed by all of this. I've been in no contact for 2 weeks and I still don't feel better. I was so broken when this first happened I almost lost it. I wanted to just run away and drop out of college. Some days I feel kind of okay, but then others I feel extremely angry and upset and I don't know what to do. I just don't understand any of it, I don't get how anyone can lead someone on that long. I just want to contact him and lash out I'm so angry, even though I know it wouldn't do any good. Valentine's Day is coming up soon and that would've been our 1 year and I don't know how I'm going to get through it. I just don't know how to heal from this. I'm in so much pain right now and wonder how long no contact will take before I'm fully healed.

[d0nnivain]

NC is not a magic elixir. A broken heart is not like a broken arm where you put it in a cast for 6-8 weeks & viola you're healed.

 

 

It takes time & everyone is different. This time of year with Valentine's Day coming up it's a bit tougher because love & happy couples are being thrown in your face. Make a plan of what you are going to do that day. Do not sit & wallow, but it's OK to be sad around friends.

 

 

The little bit of good news is that anger is a more positive emotion then pure sadness. You are more on your way then you think.

[Purepony]

This is horrible

I can't believe this guy can be such a scumbag but in 2017 so anything is possible

 

It might take a little longer for you because of all the mean things he said but the only thing you can really do is take a deep breath and understand that this is the best decision.

 

Think about it he could have let you on for who knows how much longer ?

When he came back you shouldn't have made it so easy but what's done is done

 

Use this as a learning experience and go straight to no contact.... I think you'll be feeling crummy for about 3-6 months depending on how you handle it but what ever you do don't give up school especially for this dirt bag

[nolookingback716]

Use this as a learning experience and go straight to no contact.... I think you'll be feeling crummy for about 3-6 months depending on how you handle it but what ever you do don't give up school especially for this dirt bag

 

Yeah seriously, don't ruin your life over this dirtbag. For what it's worth, not being able to feel emotion is a sign of a sociopath so you probably dodged a huge bullet with him breaking it off now rather than later.