Bclassy Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 My story is a long crazy one but in short my husband left me because I forced him out. We had been fighting for a year because he no longer believed in our religion that we grew up doing together. It causes GREAT TURMOIL if you leave the church and I wasn't willing to leave. So he left along with me pushing him out. Well, two weeks after I figured out that I can't live without him so I'm willing to sacrifice it all for him. Leaving the church and possibly being shunned by my family and friends just for him. I love him that much. Although, now he's saying he enjoys the freedom of not fighting anymore and doesn't know how to make it work because things had just gotten that terrible. He says he still loves me and cares for me. We still have sex when we see each other , talk everyday and we have two amazing kids together. Been married for 16years!! He feels like he is having a mid life crisis and trying to figure himself out. I feel though as if my hanging on and pleading is not helping. He still gets what he wants when he wants and than goes back to his apartment. I'm lost as what to do to get my husband to want to come back home. It's been two months and I'm so sad without him. Does anyone have success with the 180??? PLEASE HELP. I want my family back. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 Have you tried marriage counseling? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bclassy Posted February 4, 2017 Author Share Posted February 4, 2017 Yes we started with that. But we haven't gone back in several weeks because he's at the point where he wants us to work on ourselves not the marriage yet. So we stopped going. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted February 5, 2017 Share Posted February 5, 2017 Does anyone have success with the 180??? PLEASE HELP. I want my family back. Relationship-wise, the 180 is a longshot, the tactic you turn to when others have failed. Its real strength is that it has no downside, forcing you to work on those things that benefit you either in reconciliation or divorce. Based on what you've written, you're a candidate. As things stand now, you're enabling his wandering ways by giving him the best of both worlds. If you want your family back, that's not the way... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
bpdftl Posted February 23, 2017 Share Posted February 23, 2017 You are confused, the divorce 180 is what he should have done to you. You can't "do it to him." He's moved on, there's nothing you can reasonably do except wait and hope. He's not interested enough though, I'll tell you that. The reason why a man or woman follows the divorce 180, is because it is their last ditch effort to try and make things work. It's a "well, the other stuff doesn't work, time to focus on me, and hope they come around." And it does work, very well. In fact it's one of the only things that often works, because most ways of "fixing" a dead relationship involve enabling someone else. You beg and plead for a person that is forcing you out the door, and it makes them feel more valuable and makes the decision make more sense to them. Then like you find out, you don't know what you got till its gone. The 180 is a technique to let someone understand what it's like when you're gone, before you're gone. You made him gone. So, there's no 180. Just the zero. Take the loss, move on. And in the future, be cognizant of your behavior and the ramifications of your actions. That being said, not trying to be too hard, because few people are willing to admit they in fact made a mistake. So, you're on a better path than most to recovery. Link to post Share on other sites
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