Worried girlfriend will make an irrational/impulsive decision again?

[beuhuma]

I was back on holiday in my home country and met my girlfriend who was signed with a modeling agency. She is very beautiful. We immediately clicked however since we had met overseas, I’m studying and have one more left of university then I will be moving back to my home country (where she does not live full term) we have been together for 6 months.

Her personality is very similar to mine and we are relatively compatible. I know her parents and she knows mine as well. We are very serious about each other and I could definitely see a future with her just like she tells me that she can as well. We know each others friends and extended family. Yes there are some issues in our relationship. I was quite inconsiderate at the start of the relationship, would comment on other girls appearances to essentially make her feel small. This is horrible of me I know, it just stemmed from insecurity that she is Caucasian (I’m Asian) beautiful, from a wealthy family and a model. She told me to stop yet I admittedly continued a few more times. Other issues such as lying to her about small things when she confronted me. A few other issues. I once according to her, publically embarrassed her when I told her to cover her cleavage in front of my parents at the airport. I was going away that night, it got into an argument, lots of tears and arguments. When I left, I felt very very bad in fact I would cry about it every time I saw our last family photo together that night. I constantly expressed to her that I felt apologetic.

 

She had a holiday booked in march to see me for 2 months. For the past 2 weeks or so since I’ve left we have been arguing a lot to the extent where she cannot sleep at night despite always having insomnia. Even her parents are worried about this holiday as they can apparently see we are not getting along, hearing arguments over the phone and her not sleeping. Some of these arguments include : such as asking what her opinion is on colonization at 11pm and her getting offended that I disagreed with her opinion. She may be up till 8am in the morning, stressed and worried. Every time we would argue, she would say that she is not happy and wants to end the relationship. She would state she wants to cancel her flight. I assumed everything was okay the other night as I have constantly apologized for my wrong doing, as she has done for little things like also commenting on other males appearances, having a male friend over for dinner and talking about how she is attracted to him and that he finds her beautiful. How we over talk each other and believe we’re right and the other person is wrong.

 

One night every seemed alright and she told me that she has suspicions that I am closet bi sexual from comments I have made. She then cancelled her flight and told me that our relationship is ended. Later during our argument she said that she will give me three options. To prove to her that I want her to come and that this holiday will be worth it since she has had doubts as we have been fighting by buying her another ticket or paying her parents the cancelation fee. Obviously because I love her, I looked at other flights even though I was hesitant as it is my parents money (currently unemployed) and booked her a flight and she is coming in 2 weeks. She mentioned she is happy to do this as it shows I am genuine about the trip and that there is a lot of talking and improvement to be done if we want this to work. The fact that she cancelled her flight on me was a major impulsive move even if she is unhappy with me, doubting the holiday. I told her that I have spent quite a bit of money on her for her birthday which she told me that she does not expect and that cancelling the flight was also a expensive move.

[d0nnivain]

Do you realize that for a full 1/3 of your very short relationship she has been upset? You have been together for a whopping 6 months & she's had insomnia about you for 2 of those months. All of this happens long distance when everything should be less intense & more laid back. It's the honeymoon period yet all you do is argue.

 

 

This whole connection is a fiasco. You two are not compatible. You have been disrespectful. It's good that you acknowledge that but why she stuck around is beyond me. Embarrassing her in front of your parents didn't help. If you treat her like that in the beginning, can you understand why this woman doesn't want to be alone with you in a foreign country for two months?

 

 

She already broke up with you. There is no meaningful foundation here. Let the relationship end. Take her present back & get your money back.

[justwhoiam]

This must be your girlfriend:

Boyfriend and Chinese family breaking my heart

[BaileyB]

This is an incredibly unhealthy relationship.

 

The two of you both have a lot to learn about basic communication in relationships. But more than that, you need to learn how to treat another person with respect. Do yourself a favour and cancel the holiday... Why would you ever want to stay together when you do nothing but argue and make each other miserable.

 

Your problem is not really concern that your girlfriend may make an impulsive decision and cancel your holiday again. Your real problem should be that neither one of you knows how to be in a relationship and treat your partner with love and respect.

Edited February 5, 2017 by BaileyB

[Els]

One thing worth noting - telling your gf publicly to cover up her cleavage in front of your parents is NOT acceptable in Caucasian culture (and indeed, would still be at best borderline inappropriate in most other cultures). The sooner you know this, the better all your future relationship endeavours will be. Do not try to tell a girl how to dress (especially not while in public) unless she asks.

 

That being said, it sounds like the two of you are incompatible. That's a whole lot of drama when you haven't even been together for a year.

[Els]

This must be your girlfriend:

Boyfriend and Chinese family breaking my heart

 

Uh, wow. Well spotted.

[BaileyB]

Well, she certainly has a different perspective.