somanymistakes Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 I think an affair is still a better solution than murder! Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey born raised Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 Your AP is the closests you have ever come to having a real marriage. Real life and work life are two very different things but bonding occurs in both. I would divorce and not confess (choking as I write this), drop AP and seek to find a real husband. Finally have you sought a possible medical or psychological condition for a lack of orgasm? Have you ever experienced an orgasm at all? Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey born raised Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 Also read "not just friends" it will be an eye opener for you. Link to post Share on other sites
freengreen Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 No! Not happy in your marriage? -- separation -- divorce -- therapy -- couples counseling -- kill the spouse -- have a baby (not a great solution, but people do it) You have the affair because you're too {fill in the blank} to do any of the above. So better kill the spouse than have an affair?!. People in affairs are weaker than you think!... They are happy putting on their capes and riding unicorns... Link to post Share on other sites
Southern Sun Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 I'm overwhelmed by all the kind and supportive words. Since I initially posted here things have changed with AP. I haven't seen him much this week because of circumstances and that gave me time to think. I decided I could break away from both. I think he could sense that and he became an emotional, blubbering mess. We did talk for a couple of hours one day and he told me he loved me after all this time. I think he means it. I think he really wishes things were different. But they aren't. I haven't had any physical contact with him and can hold my ground. I don't know if he really loves me or just loves the support and comfort I give him. I do know I am very different from his wife in many ways. His wife is very needy. I've had to care for myself since a young age. Life shapes us in to what we are. When he told me he loved me it was after explaining all the things I meant to him. After he said he knew he shouldn't say it but he was going to anyway. Inside, he is broken, too. He's had much heartache in his life. He shoulders great responsibility. My heart hurts for him. But it hurts for me, too. Again, thank you all for your kind words. I've done therapy before but it didn't help because I lied to the therapist and just couldn't open up. I'm definitely in need of help. You sound miserable. Your AP is as broken as you are. Two broken people can't fix each other...promise. Absolutely he is panicking about you being done. You have been his "yes woman" for a long time, taking care of him and buttering his toast in every way possible. Maybe he is a "hurting soul" but he is betraying his wife and family every minute he is in a relationship with you. He is not that innocent. If he wanted you that much and he was a strong man of character, he would at least make a choice and stop causing pain to everyone he professes to love (you included). "Protecting people from pain" does NOT include continuing an affair and lying about it. That is false logic. All of this applies to you as well, unfortunately. Even if your BH is no angel, you are betraying him also. I suggest you both wake up from your escape and actually DO something about your life. You only have one to live. Link to post Share on other sites
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