Being genuine versus being false.

[ZA Dater]

What people do in clubs is all perfectly doable for you too.

YOU don't need to drink everyone under the table or dance like a male stripper or act like a gigolo or charm all the ladies like a leading man, all you need to do is to do enough to fit in.

 

You are not stupid, but what you want to do is not "natural" to you, so you need to do some studying and some work here, you need a plan and you then need to execute it. Nothing has come "natural" to you, it doesn't come natural to most other people either, but they work on on it and it becomes second nature.

 

The world does not revolve around you. You think you are so awkward and your faults and flaw are soooo obvious to everyone, but the truth is most people will not even notice.

YOU have to get out of that shell you keep disappearing into and actually do something. Have a drink, learn to dance, be sociable with all sorts of different people, learn to have fun and relax.

 

YOU can't rely on some gorgeous woman to swoop in and put up with all your peccadilloes and "save" you.

You will wait forever.

 

 

1: Enjoyable and doable are poles apart here.

2: I couldn't care less about not fitting, if I don't fit in I simply don't go to that particular place. I never fitted in so the fact I don't isn't like some monkey sitting on my back, sure it makes me undesirable and unattractive them quite honestly so be it.

3: Sure they worked on it, just not at the age of 32/33. Its arguable how many actually worked at it, versus simply used alcohol to "fix it".

4: Never said it did.

5: Its a lovely idea, an impractical, unreasonable and unlikely to ever happen but at least being semi intelligent allows me to enjoy the idea of it and distract myself from what the fact genuine me gets me nowhere.

[ZA Dater]

What people do in clubs is all perfectly doable for you too.

YOU don't need to drink everyone under the table or dance like a male stripper or act like a gigolo or charm all the ladies like a leading man, all you need to do is to do enough to fit in.

 

You are not stupid, but what you want to do is not "natural" to you, so you need to do some studying and some work here, you need a plan and you then need to execute it. Nothing has come "natural" to you, it doesn't come natural to most other people either, but they work on on it and it becomes second nature.

 

The world does not revolve around you. You think you are so awkward and your faults and flaw are soooo obvious to everyone, but the truth is most people will not even notice.

YOU have to get out of that shell you keep disappearing into and actually do something. Have a drink, learn to dance, be sociable with all sorts of different people, learn to have fun and relax.

 

YOU can't rely on some gorgeous woman to swoop in and put up with all your peccadilloes and "save" you.

You will wait forever.

 

Good points these. I'll decide how to approach this, whether I need it is a mute question. I'd rather take rejection than looking stupid, so if there any risk of the latter I wont even bother. The reason for this is the intolerable amount of teasing I had to endure growing up, mixed with mocking because............I didn't fit in. Its left a permanent scar on me which is why its so nice to sit down and write articles, get constructive feedback and have someone take an interest in me.

 

 

Its also why I go all out to try do the best I can because I always feel the need to prove people wrong. I view myself as the underdog continuously and as much I would love to ask certain people out I'd rather not than be told "No" and because in my view the chances of "yes" are almost non existent.

 

 

This forum has taught me a lot and basically highlighted the fact I spent many years with the totally incorrect view of how things should be done. The irony is I guess its not all that bad being the individual because in a world full of conformists those who don't conform garner almost universal respect if not any sort of attraction.