the_entertainer1 Posted February 6, 2017 Share Posted February 6, 2017 I am a 27 year old woman, who works in a very female-dominated environment. Out of the 130-140 staff at my work, 110 are women. Of the 20 men at my work, less than 5 are under the age of 30. A new guy started at work last week. We hit it off on the very first day we met at a beginning-of-year social function our work held at the pub. Once people started to leave, it was dinner time, so we were enjoying our conversation to much we decided to have dinner together. We shared a pizza; he insisted on paying and then walked me to my car. Last week, the two of us went out for coffee a couple of times - once in a break and the other time, after work. He works part time, so whenever he's in and we see each-other, we'll stop and chat (we have an open-plan office, so it's really easy for everyone to do this!) Anyway, a couple of people have said things to me, about him and me. My aunt, who works with us and saw us at the pub, said it was "lovely to see two people 'click' so easily". Another (older) guy asked if the new guy and I knew each other before he started and was surprised when we said we didn't. Another woman (a friend) asked me if I was seeing anyone. When I said I wasn't and asked why she was asking, she said that someone else had asked her, and that she'd 'noticed' a few things (but then we were interrupted and she couldn't elaborate). My issue is - I think this new guy and I have a lot in common and we get on well. Maybe we have a 'vibe' - but I'm worried that people will gossip, even if there isn't anything going on. Yes, I like him, but I want to remain professional. I believe I have done so, thus far. At the moment, I haven't really treated him differently to how I'd treat any other work friend, and our work doesn't forbid coworkers from dating. Any tips for handing the gossips? Link to post Share on other sites
PrettyEmily77 Posted February 6, 2017 Share Posted February 6, 2017 Any tips for handing the gossips? Shrug them off, and let things unfold with new guy at a pace that suits you both. In the event you find yourselves dating, keeping a low profile at work may be the way if you are concerned people talking could affect your budding relationship. Other than that, there isn't much you can do. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 6, 2017 Share Posted February 6, 2017 Of course people will gossip at work about you dating a coworker. Not only that, but depending upon your position and his, some may feel threatened, like you may be promoted faster (or he may), that sort of thing. It kind of IS the business of people at work to know who's fraternizing with each other. If you didn't want them to know you should have been more discreet. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 7, 2017 Share Posted February 7, 2017 Ignore it. If you react, the more they'll gossip..which you can't control anyway! Link to post Share on other sites
basma Posted February 7, 2017 Share Posted February 7, 2017 Ignore it. If you react, the more they'll gossip..which you can't control anyway! This is what I do and it works quite well. Have you heard the expression "don't feed the trolls". Don't feed into their gossip, ignore it and they will eventually know it doesn't bother you and they will either do it less or not at all. But its out of your control. People will do it, its part of being human too. So just deal with it as best you can. Link to post Share on other sites
Tribble Posted February 7, 2017 Share Posted February 7, 2017 This is what I do and it works quite well. Have you heard the expression "don't feed the trolls". Don't feed into their gossip, ignore it and they will eventually know it doesn't bother you and they will either do it less or not at all. But its out of your control. People will do it, its part of being human too. So just deal with it as best you can. This. Don't react and just keep it breezy if they bring anything up. Politely change the conversation to something more neutral. I've had to deal with this a lot. But my old work place was rife with gossip about everyone, whether it was the truth or not. If you don't show it bothers you, they'll get bored and move onto the next thing. If asked, be truthful or avoid, don't lie. If people find out you lie, it'll look like you have something to hide and could cause more problems. Link to post Share on other sites
Tressugar Posted February 8, 2017 Share Posted February 8, 2017 Don't get your honey, where you make your money. Trust me on this one. If it in a different department/building then maybe. Link to post Share on other sites
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