OW considering a life with MM. Is this real?

[BaileyB]

Not negativity, we just see this man with a different perspective and we are honestly telling you, he doesn't look so wonderful without the "rose colored glasses" of a woman in love.

 

Everyone wants the best for you. This man has the potential to hurt you badly, and we want to help you avoid that if possible.

[Grammie]

I will chime in too and say I don't see him leaving his marriage.

 

It is big talk, no action.

 

I feel sad for the guys who think you are into dating them (via the online dating site or wherever). You are using them for entertainment and a meal/movie. If a guy did that to a girl, people would be outraged. but you seem to think it is okay to do that. Why?

 

NO man who loves you and cares for you and wants a monogamous future with you, would be suggesting you date other people whilst he does the same.

 

He knows he will clean up on the dating market and now his divorce is imminent he wants to be free as a bird to sample any delights that are on offer.

 

100% agree with the above.

 

I have also read that men who do leave, don't stay with the OW because she represents the poor choices he made - such as cheating on his wife and lying. Men don't want that hanging over their head. They instead choose someone new, someone who didn't watch him, encourage him or enable him to behave in such a horrible manner. And men can come to resent their OW - had she not 'pushed' or 'encouraged' the affair, he wouldn't be alone, without his kids, without his house, his car, his money. They blame the OW for those losses. Not saying it is rationale or right, but keep reading. it happens. I want to say a lot, but I can't because "a lot" of men don't leave. The majority don't. They have little incentive to leave all their stuff -- and not for an 8 month affair. the very fact that he wants to date others, and has you convinced it is for your own good, is a huge neon flashing red flag.

[Poppy47]

Grammie,

 

I feel sorry for the guys too.

 

I tried dating and I know I am not ready. There were some really nice men I met and I think I confused them when I backed off after a couple of dates.

 

I have remained friends with a couple of them but have ceased dating. I am not ready to become romantically involved with anyone yet.

 

I didn't like it when xMM mistreated me, so I will not do what he did.

 

Poppy.

[minimariah]

He is the one that has to leave his wife to be with me.

 

one thing though - he should leave his marriage for HIMSELF; not to be with you. super dangerous when folks' only motivation to leave is to be with someone else. they are most likely to do it again.