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I'm so jealous of my ex's ex boyfriend I copy him!


Swan89

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Hey guys its been a while since I've been here. This is probably more of a rant in need of comforting words rather than a question that needs answering.

 

I'm getting concerned for myself recently, well, the last few months.

Long story short, I dated a girl for 2 months last winter, and I got my heart broken when she didn't want me anymore. She was still grieving over her ex and I don't think she thought I was the man for her anyway... come to think of it, deep down I know she's not the right woman for me!

 

Fast forward a year, and we had been on-and-off friends with benefits until about 2 months ago. I always wanted more but I only ever hinted it, I rather showed it through my actions. One day, she said via message she couldn't do it any more because she didn't want to hurt me. I wasn't a sad this time, more angry that it had happened a second time.

 

Her ex boyfriend had been friends with her for the last 6-9 months or so and I suspected she wanted him back because she talked about him a lot in front of me, bigging him up, and I really wouldn't be surprised if they were screwing behind my back. They speak so often its weird (that's if they truly are just platonic friends, which she always insisted they were only that).. And now her and I don't talk, or at least, I avoid eye contact in college.

 

The point is, I find myself envying this guy, I can tell he feels awkward and a little sad that I avoid eye contact at all costs. I've started dressing like him, having the same hairstyle, its got to be blatantly obvious.

I bumped into him TWICE at the college doorway in the space of five minutes. I said nothing at first when he said thanks for letting him through, the second time, at the doorway again, I muttered 'cheers mate' out of reflex obligation to be polite... and he responded 'It's Arlight!' in a kind of high pitched voice.

 

I get told a lot that I'm good-looking, and I know girls like me, but when I see this guy, I'm like 'damn, he looks so cool'. At the same time, I admire him for some reason...and if it wasn't for the history they had, I'd actually like to be his friend, but I just can't...especially if he's doing the girl I wanted.

Edited by Swan89
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once you leave college, you will never see him again, none of this matters in the bigger scheme of things, just get good grades

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