denvergirl Posted July 22, 2005 Share Posted July 22, 2005 My Husband went to a bachelor party in NV with a bunch of his old college buddies. There were a couple guys there about to get married. The guys order 2 strippers for 2 hours. The girls showed up and started dancing, my husband got 2 lap dances paid for by a couple of the guys (I would probably be OK if that was the only thing that happened) but the girls got fully naked and then did dirty games with the guys... fully naked!!! riding on the guys chest without any clothes then flipping around rubbing their boobs on the guys chest with their #@!* in the guys face!!! Plus lap dances naked... And then had sex with each other and used props on each other. I had to threaten divorce to find out the whole story, it is really bad I did not know the things these girls did were legal! They were paid to have sex with each other... isn't this prostitution?? I have tried to be cool about this but I am just not, how do I handle this!!! Is this a normal bachelor party?? Am I just not aware of this stuff? Link to post Share on other sites
TUDOR Posted July 22, 2005 Share Posted July 22, 2005 My boys and I had a bachelor party in Lake Tahoe for one of our guys that was getting married as well. We had planned on doing the usual nudie bar scene one night while there. Come to find out they don't have them there, you have to have them come to your room much like your husband did. So we to ordered up a dancer for our guy. The girl comes with another girl more for safety than to have double your pleasure. They girls did all kinds of stuff depending on what you tipped them and yes even pleasured each other with toys and such for our viewing pleasure. Not one guy got to do anything other than watch and we always had a our clothes on so not like anything could happen anyways. I know it seems a bit much to think of your hubby be party to something so graphic but sounds like it was similar to ours and nothing happened. Guys are visual creatures and what took place was purely a visual show for the guys. We didn't plan it and I bet your guys didn't either but it was the only option with there being no nudie bars. Don't let it come between you and your hubby though. Your hubby would have been made fun of had he tried to say I can't participate in this guys my wife wouldn't approve. He was justing being on the guys. There was nothing intimate about what took place for him, it was all just about the show. Link to post Share on other sites
UltimateZen Posted July 22, 2005 Share Posted July 22, 2005 I would think of it as a live porno show. I am sure it is the same quality as you would find on CineMax after dark. Link to post Share on other sites
Jlmic1 Posted July 22, 2005 Share Posted July 22, 2005 I would think of it as cheating. Having a naked woman on top of you , performing sexual acts, while you are married, is cheating. Not to mention paying a woman for these things constitutes as paying a prositute. Link to post Share on other sites
TUDOR Posted July 22, 2005 Share Posted July 22, 2005 Like I said I can certainly understand how angry the thought of it might make a wife. The lap dance the men received is no different than if they went to actual strip club which is pretty normal for a bachelor party. The only sexual acts performed was the girls with the girls...not the guys. They basically got to watch a real live porno that was girl on girl. I think there is a big misunderstanding as to what actually takes place and the wives involved paint it out to be something it isn't. But you are entitled to be mad and not like it. But I hardly think it is something worth ruining a marriage over is all. Link to post Share on other sites
Jlmic1 Posted July 22, 2005 Share Posted July 22, 2005 Originally posted by TUDOR Like I said I can certainly understand how angry the thought of it might make a wife. The lap dance the men received is no different than if they went to actual strip club which is pretty normal for a bachelor party. The only sexual acts performed was the girls with the girls...not the guys. They basically got to watch a real live porno that was girl on girl. I think there is a big misunderstanding as to what actually takes place and the wives involved paint it out to be something it isn't. But you are entitled to be mad and not like it. But I hardly think it is something worth ruining a marriage over is all. It's true that the 2 women were performing sexual acts. But don't you think that a naked woman bouncing on a man for money is a sexual act too? Link to post Share on other sites
IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted July 22, 2005 Share Posted July 22, 2005 If your husband had sex with them, then he cheated. If he didn't than he's a guy acting like a guy. Link to post Share on other sites
TUDOR Posted July 22, 2005 Share Posted July 22, 2005 Originally posted by Jlmic1 It's true that the 2 women were performing sexual acts. But don't you think that a naked woman bouncing on a man for money is a sexual act too? My opinion is no I don't. The guy had his clothes on, they didn't kiss, they didn't even get fondled unless you count having a girl in your lap fondling. Don't get me wrong, if my wife tells me that she goes to a bachelorete party and male stripper was dancing in her lap for her, I wouldn't care for the idea either. But I also know it is par for the course at the type of event and I trust her to not cross any lines. The husband in this case I don't think crossed any lines that would constitute cheating. Had he kissed her, had he touched her while she was naked, had she touched him with him being naked then yes it would be much worse. But all he did was watch and had some girl dance in his lap for him. He was with a group, at a bachelor party and that is the nature of a bachelor party. When you let your men go to this things I think there is a clear understanding there will be naked women there but no they will not cross any lines that you wouldn't approve of. Link to post Share on other sites
ThumbingMyWay Posted July 22, 2005 Share Posted July 22, 2005 Originally posted by IhavenoFREAKINclue If your husband had sex with them, then he cheated. If he didn't than he's a guy acting like a guy. thats pretty much what I think too...... Link to post Share on other sites
Author denvergirl Posted July 23, 2005 Author Share Posted July 23, 2005 This all very helpful!!! I think that what I am going through is a lot of shock; I just had no idea that you could pay for that?? Tudor.... when you ordered the girls did you know that it was going to get to that level... did you know they did more than the strip clubs? And did you tell your wife? Link to post Share on other sites
Paving Paper Posted July 25, 2005 Share Posted July 25, 2005 Even nice, loyal guys face the B Party. If he refuses contact with strippers, his buddies will be offended and think he's odd. And same as with centerfolds, looking at attractive women does not mean more attactive than you, and doesn't mean you're not is number 1 and only. Haven't you admired a construction workers body from time to time? (if you ever do contruction work in summer near an office, several women will be staring) Link to post Share on other sites
TUDOR Posted July 25, 2005 Share Posted July 25, 2005 Originally posted by denvergirl This all very helpful!!! I think that what I am going through is a lot of shock; I just had no idea that you could pay for that?? Tudor.... when you ordered the girls did you know that it was going to get to that level... did you know they did more than the strip clubs? And did you tell your wife? We didn't expect any more than a strip tease to some music. When she showed up with a duffel bag fuel of goodies we were all surprised. But it was all about money for them. In order to see her do anything more than dance you had to tip her. It really started out innocently enough and yes it turned out to be more visually explicit than we expected but nothing happened past that. We fully expected to see the same thing we would at a strip club. And yes I told my wife. She had about the same response as you but in the end she realized it was all just a show and while she didn't like it, it was done and no need to for it interfere with our marriage. Besides it isn't like it is regular routine, it was a special occasion and I doubt will ever come up again. Link to post Share on other sites
k123 Posted September 22, 2005 Share Posted September 22, 2005 Denver Girl, The same thing happened to a bachelor party my husband went to in Chicago and I was just as shocked as you. What kind of sick perverts pay to watch two women doing sexual things to each other while a group of men stand around watching? My husband didn't tell me what happened. I found out from another girl whose husband was there and told her. He said in the first 5 minutes the strippers (prostitutes in my opinion) took off all their clothes, used vibrators on each other, gave each other oral sex, put a dildo in the groom's pants and pretended to be giving him oral sex, and took off his shirt and poured hot wax on him!! At that point her husband left. I'm wondering what happened next but my husband said "nothing." Yeah, right! My husband was mad that the other guy told what happened. I think the guy who told his wife was the better guy than my husband who didn't. If he had been honest with me about what happened I would have still been upset but it would have been better than finding out from someone else. My husband said he didn't know that was going to happen, that he felt awkward, and that he just hung out in the back and wasn't really into it. He said that he did not get a lap dance and I think that is actually true b/k he really isn't into that kind of thing and the other guys said they offered to pay for one for him and he said no (he was hosting the bachelor party b/k he was the best man but he doesn't live in Chicago so he had another guy take care of hiring the stripppers). I thought he should have left, but he said he felt responsible and like he couldn't leave. I know that guys think it is no big deal and that we women are just overreacting and should just let our husbands have some "innocent fun" but the more I think about it the more upset I get. My husband never goes to strip clubs and isn't into porn movies or anything like that. It is an isolate incident. But still, I feel kind of disgusted and disappointed in him. The fact that he didn't tell me what really happened also makes me feel like I can't really trust him as much as I thought I could. I talked with him about it and told him how I feel and he explained his side and there's nothing more to say. It still bothers me A LOT but I don't know what else I can do besides try to let it go. "Talking" about it with other people helps somewhat because I didn't know that strippers were doing this everywhere - I thought it was some kind of isolated bizarre incident! I guess I am just naive! Link to post Share on other sites
FreeMe Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 I really don't know how anyone can think it's ok for completely naked women to sit on a married guys chest and that it's just "harmless fun". That is sick. Do you really think he won't be thinking of that every time he has sex with you? If a hot, naked guy with a gigantic hard d**k rubbed it all over your chest would that be ok? I don't know what the hell this world is coming to that it's "ok" and "harmless" for a married person - male or female - to do that. Link to post Share on other sites
bradd789 Posted November 1, 2005 Share Posted November 1, 2005 Hey, woman do much worse than men at these kind of things, because they allow women to get away with much more. Just do a Google search on "CFNM" and you'll see what I mean. I'd like to ask, how many women have attended events like this? Link to post Share on other sites
RainyDayWoman Posted November 1, 2005 Share Posted November 1, 2005 i've been to girls' clubs, and i have yet to see a woman pay for VIP cunnilingus. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted November 1, 2005 Share Posted November 1, 2005 You have all the right to be pissed as hell. We all know it, there's no doubt about it so let's move on to the main subject - what to do about it (except divorce). Give him a hard time then forgive him (for your own sake!). IMHO, you need to be firm in your attitude that another "mistake" like this and he is out. Let him know how much you're hurt, but let him feel guilty - don't exaggerate in your nagging as he will only find excuses and you're goal is to make him regret it and have a bitter taste about his little pleasure. Secondly, forgive him inside your mind, because if we retain all the rage through life, we should commit a suicide at some point. I think he didn't get as much pleasure of it as you got hurt. I can imagine myself watching two guys having sex out of curiousity (although guys probably enjoy it in the sexual way). I couldn't have anyone's ass in my face though, that image yucks me out. But the boobs-to-chest rubbing is something that probably no guy would say "no" to. They just don't see it as cheating. It is cheating though if you both have agreed in the past that no such things would happen. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted November 1, 2005 Share Posted November 1, 2005 Wish I was at that bachelor party. Link to post Share on other sites
hooghie Posted November 1, 2005 Share Posted November 1, 2005 i've been to girls' clubs, and i have yet to see a woman pay for VIP cunnilingus. That is because we don't have to pay for it. Just about any woman can get anything physical she wants from most guys. RP has given you good advice. I know it is probably the right advice, but I woudln't do it. I would get even. For me to get even- I'd have to get what I consider an equal amount of male attention. Since, as a woman, I wouldn't have to pay for it, it would happen at a bar/party/etc. At a minimum, I would find a hot guy and tell him that I wanted some innocent touching and NOTHING more as I'm taken. (guys can be very understanding when they are NOT your bf/hubby, but they are interested) Then I would sit on his lap wearing a very short and sexy skirt with a hot cleavage enhancing top. Then I would grind him a bit and put his hands on my breasts. Sometimes I think that only when someone feels the same or a similar pain will they understand why what they did was wrong and how it made you feel. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted November 1, 2005 Share Posted November 1, 2005 Ooooohhhhhhh, I like your idea, Hooghie! If my guy cheated on me (talking about real sex), I would either divorce him or cheat on him. But in her case, it might make things worse. But it also might make them hotter. Depends on what kind of people they are. I think people should agree at the beginning of teh relationship on what will be considered cheating. From that point nobody can say "Lap dance is not cheating!" or "Watching porn is cheating!" since they will have an agreement about lap dance, porn, and everything else. They can update the agreement as feelings fade away. Link to post Share on other sites
hooghie Posted November 1, 2005 Share Posted November 1, 2005 You're right. Things like this should be figured out in the beginning of a relationship, but it's hard to think of every scenario and a lot of guys egg each other on and feel like they have to go along with the scene if their buddies are around. I find that part of it really sad. I've seen a lot of relationships have severe problems and even break up over strippers. It's too bad that guys in relationships even go to these things- someone always gets into trouble. Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted November 1, 2005 Share Posted November 1, 2005 Ok guys , most strip club clientel is just old rich men . I dont know about the batchelor parties , but Ive never heard of the whole vibrator thing , maybe thats just a hotel room thing??? But if these girls were in fact doing the cunnilingus that is prostitution and they can be arrested for it. So technically these were prostitutes, not strippers. You should simply make it clear to your hubby that this is not ok and leave it at that .It was probably an isolated event ,and how often does a guys best friend get married? Well lets hope not too often... Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted November 1, 2005 Share Posted November 1, 2005 oh and the thing about the boobs in his face, they probably werent real anyway!!! Link to post Share on other sites
hooghie Posted November 2, 2005 Share Posted November 2, 2005 oh and the thing about the boobs in his face, they probably werent real anyway!!! Well then- I guess that makes it ok! Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted November 2, 2005 Share Posted November 2, 2005 I've seen a lot of relationships have severe problems and even break up over strippers. It's too bad that guys in relationships even go to these things- someone always gets into trouble. Theese relationships dont have severe problems and break up over strippers.These relationships have problems due to poor choices, like going to see naked girls when your in a relationship!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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