Strongerlife Posted February 8, 2017 Share Posted February 8, 2017 Just venting here. Bad night. Divorced since July, the house is in his name only. I made the down payment and we bought it during our marriage. He agreed in the divorcee decree to give it up to me. I have roughly 5 years (til youngest graduates) to get it in my name and now have exclusive rights/responsibilities to it. Only if I default does it get sold with proceedings going to me along with equity. He gets mad yesterday and says he is going to charge me "rent". Um no, legally you can't. I pay the mortgage, abide by the decree, and you have no rights as the decree says. Then he says he wants to decrease the child support amount since my boyfriend moved in. Nope, state statue says he is not liable for your kids, the amount stays. Anyone else have this kind of nonsense?? Or am I just "lucky"? ? Not sure where he gets this babble from! I called my attorney to get advice. We are down to only emailing - ex and I but I had a conversation with him while my son was talking to him via phone. Of course he screams, swears and dosent hear a word I say Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 8, 2017 Share Posted February 8, 2017 Lots of people get stuck with EXs who don't abide by court orders. You are not alone. Ask you attorney when the attorney will be changing the deed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Strongerlife Posted February 8, 2017 Author Share Posted February 8, 2017 I have to get the title in my name and refinance. I've started but it's not fast unfortunately. Why can't people just follow the rules?? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 8, 2017 Share Posted February 8, 2017 Why can't people just follow the rules??Depends on the downside. In adversarial situations people generally do what's most desirable for them without consideration of anyone else, basically whoever cares the least has the most power. You're paying the bills and he's dragging his feet because, well, he can. There's no apparent downside. Does your decree have a clause ordering the party who violates the judgment and order to pay for the damaged party's legal fees? If you qualify (unknown) and have a good deal, the mortgage holder can re-write the mortgage and drop his name and he grants his interest to you in the mortgage escrow process. If you've been a good risk so far, they usually like to keep the loan, whether they're the servicer or hold it in-house (likely the former) Are you saying he won't deed (grant or warranty) his interest in the house per the judgment and order? Of course, paying a few hundred per will get you jurisdiction-relevant advice but this stuff generally is pretty easy. Check your decree/judgment for that clause on fees. That can be good leverage. Saved a lady friend of mine over ten grand chasing down her deadbeat ex and got him to pay up too. Bigger numbers six figure stuff but still... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Strongerlife Posted February 8, 2017 Author Share Posted February 8, 2017 Carhill you give great information! He has no issue (yet) will getting the house to me. I called s mortgage broker who said I need to raise my credit score and Then can transfer the title and refinance. I'm going to PM you my decree about the real estate. I'm not sure I can do a thing right now until I've raised my score.. I'd love to get my name on it sooner. With it not being on there I have to pay a premium on my insurance since the "owner" dosent live here:( Link to post Share on other sites
Author Strongerlife Posted February 8, 2017 Author Share Posted February 8, 2017 Darn I can't private message it seems. If you can advise I'd appreciate it. I can't ask my attorney, he died shortly after our final courtvdate Link to post Share on other sites
supernova32 Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 Ugh, I have been in the exact same situation as you (divorce in 2012, still fighting over visitation with crazy ex). If the judge gave you the house in your divorce decree, you are able to change the name of the owner in the title without refinancing. Contact your county recorder's office to request a quitclaim deed form; a Preliminary Change of Ownership form to be filled out by the spouse keeping the home; and your home's "legal description." The legal description explains where the house is, so that someone who wants to investigate ownership can find it, and it's required for the quitclaim deed. Your home's address is not necessarily its legal description. My ex never signed the divorce decree so I had to pay about $800 to get the decree certified and published in the county register and then the quitclaim deed form. None of this involved a refinancing. Unfortunately I also had to spend a ton of time changing the title of my car as well. Thankfully the county accepted the divorce decree as documentation since my ex wouldn't sign the title over either. Be sure to take your ex off the home owner association and home insurance accounts so that it's all correct in your escrow account with the bank. I registered for this site specifically to answer your question. I am so sick of ex-wives (and husbands) getting taken advantage of by a lazy, bitter spouse. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 Why did he give up all rights to the home? I'm assuming he had to get something in return...?? Kinda makes no sense... I don't think we are getting the whole story here...I think you are leaving out some details... TFY 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Strongerlife Posted February 9, 2017 Author Share Posted February 9, 2017 No he gave it up because he couldn't afford it and we agreed it was best for me to have it with the kids. He got his freedom to be single and divorced which he wanted. Thank you supernova, I'll go down to the town. Once I'm on the title my insurance goes down since we don't need the extra policy for not having a owner living here. Super helpful!!! Ty ty! Link to post Share on other sites
MilitaryMan Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 Depending on his income or if there has been a change in income, he can fight to have it reduced. It ultimately is up to the court (Not sure what state you reside in). You already have a move in boyfriend after 6 months?? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Strongerlife Posted February 9, 2017 Author Share Posted February 9, 2017 Yes. Our divorce date was July, but were separated prior to that. I love my boyfriend and plan to marry him one day. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Peach Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 This is very jurisdiction specific stuff but it's not uncommon for someone to decide to go against the agreement. Some things can be enforced and other things can't legally. You'll have to decide if it's worth it or if you're just going to tell him to deal with it. In my area, child support is based on each parent's income and custody time so if a parent remarried or moves in with someone it doesn't impact the support calculation. However in my area it does impact alimony (and it can actually cause it to stop). Why did he give up all rights to the home? I'm assuming he had to get something in return...?? Kinda makes no sense... I don't think we are getting the whole story here...I think you are leaving out some details... TFY In my case, since the down payment came from my money and was considered separate property. Even though we bought the house while married, the equity of the house wasn't more than the down payment after selling costs so I would have been able to keep the house but he would have had to buy me out of it. Link to post Share on other sites
AnneP Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 Depending on his income or if there has been a change in income, he can fight to have it reduced. It ultimately is up to the court (Not sure what state you reside in). You already have a move in boyfriend after 6 months?? This is true, however if he earns more at any point in time, she can also take him to court for more. Your ex sounds like a piece of garbage. Your boyfriend isn't responsible for your children's care. Now, if he were paying alimony and you had a live in boyfriend, I wouldn't expect that from him anymore. Just my two cents. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Strongerlife Posted February 9, 2017 Author Share Posted February 9, 2017 Similar, my down payment was my money from an inheritance. No alimony. I agreed to not pursue that and we agreed for me to have the house. I'd have gotten alimony for 7 years. It's very stressful but I'm going to go to the town. I'm working on the refinance but having the title switched would help. Thank you all! Link to post Share on other sites
The_Onceler Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 I'd say that he is just angry. Whether his viewpoint is rational is not relevant. He is angry, at you or at the world - who knows? - and he is just looking for any avenue to lash out. Even some stupid, idiotic revenge fantasy about making you pay rent or reducing his child support. It's so much noise. I can sympathize with him, to the extent that I understand the feeling of being angry and feeling that you have no power. I am not excusing his behavior, just offering some perspective. My ex does similar stuff. I just ignore it. That works fairly well for me! Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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