Horrible teacher

[Pastypop]

My 3rd grader does on average 4-6 hours of homework per week night and on Sundays. With my job and daily four hour commute, this is not feasible. The horrible part is that she doesn't even get her work completed which causes her to fall further behind and further frustrated. Her teacher has decided to send any work not completed in class home every night for her to do on top of homework and studying for 5/8 tests per week. She does not really work with my daughter in class. My daughter is afraid to ask for help and now really hates school because of this horrible woman. We've had this teacher for two years in a row and she is disorganized and rude to my kids. She is the only third grade teacher at the school and is on really good terms with the principle so complaining about her gets us no where. I usually end up doing all of my daughter's work and have her copy it and I also have copies of most of the test that we review. With all of these time savers, it is still taking her four hours plus a night. Any suggestions on how to get through the next three months? It would be nice to come home after work and do dishes, read a book or something besides her school work.

[GunslingerRoland]

That isn't normal at all. I would talk to the teacher about the homework, how long the teacher expects it to take, and possibly bring in some basic research about how that much homework isn't good for a child. If that is their expectation change classes.

 

Also why do you have a daily 4 hour commute? That just sounds insane.

[basil67]

OK, I must confess to being the mum who told grade school teachers "we don't do homework. If you have any concerns about my child's academic progress, please talk to me". (They never did) I tell you this to give perspective to what I hope will be ongoing dialogue with you.

 

Have you spoken with the teacher? Does she know how many hours are being spent on homework? What's going on in class which prevents your daughter from completing her class work? I'm sure you're aware that a teacher should give work which is appropriate for all the different levels of academic achievement - is she giving work which is too difficult for your daughter?

 

What is the State's education homework policy where you live? Do schools have the right to enforce homework?

[Pastypop]

The four hour commute does stink but will probably end around April - June. Yesterday, I found out that she is missing PE, Art, Music and recess everyday. So she basically sits at her desk all day working without a break. The teacher had to the nerve to ask me to drop her from all her after school activities until she could complete her work. That made me livid. I let her know that she wasn't in any activities and does 4-6 hours of homework every night. So far, I haven't heard anything back. My plan for the rest of the school year is to have my daughter bring home her work that she cannot understand and we will write out for her copy. Hopefully, she will start to figure out how to write that stuff and get faster at it. So far, that's the only thing that works.

[amaysngrace]

Go above the principal and take it up with the superintendent. By law children are required to participate in PE.

 

You might want to choose email as your main form of communication because then everything is in writing.

 

Does your child have a learning disability? Has she ever been tested and what were the results?

Edited February 10, 2017 by amaysngrace

[JuneL]

OP: What country is this? East Asia by any chance??

Edited February 10, 2017 by JuneL

[basil67]

The four hour commute does stink but will probably end around April - June. Yesterday, I found out that she is missing PE, Art, Music and recess everyday. So she basically sits at her desk all day working without a break. The teacher had to the nerve to ask me to drop her from all her after school activities until she could complete her work. That made me livid. I let her know that she wasn't in any activities and does 4-6 hours of homework every night. So far, I haven't heard anything back. My plan for the rest of the school year is to have my daughter bring home her work that she cannot understand and we will write out for her copy. Hopefully, she will start to figure out how to write that stuff and get faster at it. So far, that's the only thing that works.

 

This is outrageous on so many levels. She should not be excluded from any classes or from playtime.

 

Instead of punishing her for not finishing her work, the teacher needs to be working to identify the reasons your daughter isn't finishing the work and modifying her curriculum accordingly. Remedial education may also be warranted.

 

I think you need to go hard on this one. Be your daughter's advocate. Start we the teacher and if you have no luck, go higher. Do you have someone to be with you during this process? Otherwise, we can hold your hand.

[darkmoon]

are other parents of the same opinion? are there other unhappy pupil/s?

[basil67]

OP: What country is this? East Asia by any chance??

 

Yep - where do you live? I'm still curious about your education laws.

[Tayla]

Hire a tutor.

[Raena]

A third grader should be doing no more than an hour to an hour and a half of homework and that is with reading for 20 - 30 minutes a night included. Stop her after that time and write it to the teacher. I had the same issue with my son and got his homework modified. He still does all the same subjects but he does less of each so it takes less time. If talking to the teacher doesn't work, go to the principal, if that doesn't work, go to the next step (Superintendent usually). There is no reason for a 3rd grader to have that much work to do. She should also NOT be missing art, music, recess and PE. Pitch a fit and make a scene if you have to but this is way too much for an 8 to 9 year old to be expected to do in a given day.

 

Also... In a time crunch/special occasions, I do the same with writing things out for my son to then copy. It does help him see how it should be done. Just don't use that regularly. It is her homework after all, not yours.

[RecentChange]

4-6 hours of homework a night for an 8-9 year old?

 

That makes no sense. Do the other students in her class take as much time to complete the work? There hasn't been a mass revolt for assigning 3rd graders a work load that meets or exceeds what is demanded in college?

 

What is being assigned that takes so long to complete?

 

Does your child have any learning difficulties?

 

Ask as I was in both the gifted, and special education programs at that age - dyslexia was slowing my reading etc.

 

I don't think doing the work yourself will do her any favors as she advances to the next level. It sounds like she may need some targeted help to learn how to learn.

 

We all learn differently, and unfortunately classes can't cater to everyone - but some one on one work with an expert may give her the tools to adapt. I know it made all the difference in the world for me, and my academic performance.

 

I went from a kid that hated school, and was under performing, to an A /B student, and eventually all the AP classes once I got to high school.

 

None of that would have been possible without my elementary school special education teacher

Edited February 11, 2017 by RecentChange

[darkmoon]

I was number dyslectic, discalculic is the fancy word, 2% for maths, two

 

nobody talked about it, I just had low confidence and a self-fullflling failure rate

 

just one bad subject can be v demoralising all round

[mightycpa]

No offense, but you sound like you're completely over-reacting. There is no school in the world that gives 5 - 8 TESTS per week. A combination of practice tests and quizzes, maybe. TESTS? No way. Not in any grade.

 

Second, I have a child who routinely took several hours to do his homework every night. The kid down the street who was in the same class was knocking it out in an hour or so. My kid had the worst study habits and couldn't concentrate on anything unless there was a controller in his hand and a game on the video screen. The other child was focused and disciplined. The observations I made at home were also true at school. It made all the difference in the world for their relative performance. I mention that, because your child, like mine, could not complete their school work in school, nor could he independently finish his homework.

 

Believe me when I tell you that if most of the class had your daughter's experience, the yenta moms would be up in arms. You're not in that crowd because of the 4 hour commute, but you should maybe take a day off, and go watch what happens in school. Don't participate, just watch.

 

You strike me as maybe being incapable of rendering a bias-free judgment about your child's ability to concentrate and perform. You should have her observed. What they do is every X (2 or 3) minutes, they record exactly what she's doing and what she should be doing. When they did it with my child, 80% of the time, he wasn't doing schoolwork. Take 4 hours and multiply it by 20% and you get just under an hour.

 

My wife did his homework too, and helped him study, and kept track of his schedule, and all the other things he was supposed to do, all the way through high school. I couldn't get her to let him fail. Long story short, he never had to learn those things for himself. She should have let him fail, because schools aren't supposed to let kids fail, and they begin to bend over backwards to help them. Other kids who had the same problems, but whose parents didn't pick up the slack for them are now doing better academically than mine will ever do. Sigh.

 

Today, the kid down the street attends a top university in our state. My son flunked out of college after the first semester and is now struggling at community college. Why? Because they don't care whether he finishes his work or not. In college, he has to earn the grade.

 

Maybe I'm projecting my experience on you, but welcome to my world.

[Pastypop]

Well this 3rd grader has 5-8 tests a week. She has her weekly standard tests of two math tests one on facts, the other written, spelling and Spanish every week. Then they will either have a Literature, science, English, vocabulary, history, geography, some sort of memorization test or a combination of those. We've been lucky this past two weeks and just had the standard four.

[40somethingGal]

Having 3 kids, all very different from one another, I have seen more than our share of horrible teachers.

 

Here is what has helped us:

 

Child #1 Excellent listener, over achiever, work comes easy, straight As, teacher's pet, etc. This child is the one I worry about most because she hasn't had to work for much.

 

Child #2 Shy and quiet, lots of trouble with reading and academics, a little attitudy, teachers like her.. BUT... same thing! HOURS spent on homework. A teacher was keeping her from recess to work on classwork, she struggled with reading and would bring her book home to pre-read what the class would be reading the following day. Yet, she received an "U" for effort.

 

Here is what I did: I fought with the teachers and reading specialists who insisted it was my problem and nothing was wrong. (so weird since it was obvious to everyone, but schools are not really looking out for you or your child). This was not a solution.

 

I fought to have her tested. No one would listen and I started looking into colored overlays for reading. Somehow, this got a little attention. FINALLY in 5th grade I beat the school down until I got an evaluation. The results? Everything is fine, but she reads slow and her IQ is high. This didn't answer anything, or make any sense. Fast forward: I hired a child advocate who has seen many similar cases. By 6th grade we got her on a 504 plan so she could use her overlays, etc. Finally, I found IRLENE which provided colored lenses for her. She went to straight As and independent work in a single semester. Meeting with all of her teachers, specialists, and principal, I found out that the principal and one of the specialists knew about IRLENE all along and could have helped, but for whatever reason, they chose to pretend nothing was wrong.

 

Child #3 Easy going, non athletic boy, follows rules and direction. Still in elementary school and dealing with the aftermath of noisy parents. His teacher is rude to him when he raises his hand or asks questions, and she makes up fake concerns (i.e., he needs to read more... yet he LOVES to read and spends a couple hours per day reading for enjoyment, or he needs to review his spelling words for constant errors, yet his test is 100%).

 

FIRST: you NEED to write a letter to the principal. "Dear _____, it has been brought to my attention that Sally is being kept inside during recess to complete classwork. It is important that Sally gets a break during the day and Sally is not to miss recess without my written permission. Sincerely, _____."

 

SECOND: you NEED to find a child advocate. I found mine through word of mouth. Believe me, they are out there and lots of parents have had your struggles. They are not as expensive as you might think and they are priceless. Also, never never never go to a school meeting without the advocate! The school will steam roll you in a second, but help you when you have the presence of an advocate.

 

THIRD: you NEED to write a letter to the principal formally requesting an observation and evaluations.

 

As another poster mentioned, you have to let your child fail. BUT, you also have to give her tools to succeed! Our worst year was 1st grade and we thought that once she had a new teacher, new year it would be better. We were wrong. She was harmed deeply inside from the teacher and the long frustrating hours she spent trying to accomplish what was expected of her.

 

You need to do these things for your daughter's sake (as well as your own sanity). Don't just idle by for the rest of the year. Next year, your daughter will have baggage.

 

It won't be an easy road, but it will change your daughter's life for the better. Hope this helps.

[mightycpa]

Standard tests -

 

Math is a great one for you to learn about, especially the "facts" test. There was a daily quiz, the MAD MINUTE, and you had to finish all correctly in order to proceed to the next level. One of my kids could never finish the problems in the allotted time. In an effort to discover why, I gave him the finished answer sheet to a practice test, and did my own MAD MINUTE, with answers. He still couldn't finish, and what it boiled down to was an inability to write the answers that quickly. So THAT was what we worked on, rather than the math.

 

The concepts test is another great one. With another child, it exposed the appearance of understanding, but the inability to articulate. I'm a big believer in "if you can't say it, you don't understand it." Sure enough, she was memorizing the steps, but had no idea WHY the steps were performed. So we worked on getting her to try to delve in, with some limited success.

 

All the rest of it, I'm sorry, but these simply aren't TESTS in the classical sense. There's a limit to how much one can absorb in a week, and your child doesn't even get a week's instruction, because 20% of the week is spent testing or quizzing or whatever you want to call it.

 

Get that observation done. Or do your own at home. Sit there for 4 - 6 hours and record exactly what's happening every 2 minutes. Try some of that out-of-the-box stuff, like giving your kid the answers, and seeing if they can perform. Give your child second grade work, and/or first grade level stuff. Maybe it's maturity. Doing these sorts of things will open your eyes, and you can go from there with some focus.

 

I had problems in first grade. I hated to go to school and they said I couldn't read. The real problem was that I'd been reading The Old Testament and my father's college books since before kindergarten. That's how I learned to read. First grade bored me to tears, apparently. They booted me up a couple grades, and school got a lot better for me. You never know what's really wrong.

 

The other poster has some good ideas about advocacy, but I would offer that you really need to know what kind of help you need before you go ask for it, because you're more likely to get the one-size-fits-all help formula, which may concentrate on things that won't help. Teachers these days are pretty formula driven and a lot of what they do doesn't make much sense unless your kid is "mainstream". This is a research project for you now. If you can get your child successful by 6th grade, you'll be fine. The goal of elementary school is simply to teach them how to succeed in school, and for them to demonstrate that they can.

Edited March 6, 2017 by mightycpa