I need . #long post.. getting Ex back

[Dyl Pickle]

So let me start from the beginning, It all started in 2014 where i met this girl on a 3d-chat site. i was in a online relationship with someone for 6 months. it was never even gonna happen and she broke up with me. i was emotionally down. that is where i met this girl, K. K was emotionally cold and strong and she was so rude. yet she was the one who helped me get over the girl i was with. K and i then started talking more , texting and stuff. So i had to move to another country for my studies and me and K apparently had the same time zone. so we decided to skype one day and we seemed to like each other alot. so the talking grew more and more to the point where we got into a relationship. it was all good. we had our ups and downs and our fights..some bigg some small. to be truthfully honest i was a dick the entire relationship. i was the one who always wanted to breakup when something went wrong..,she would beg me to let it go and fight it out together, she always always emotianally derpressed and she actually wanted us to last. fast forward to 2016 she came all the way crossing oceans to visit me in my countr, after my numerous failed attempts to visit her the years before due to financial issues.

 

so she comes to see me., first 3 days of our visit was so good., she liked me., she took care of me she said i was formal in real.. that is where i messed up. i took her as a best friend more than a girlfriend and almost shared everything with her and goofed around and stuff.. soon it got to the point where i ignored her on games .. i was addicted and gave more attention playing the game.. didnt take her out much.. fought.. had our alone times... it just wasnt good. but still we ended up solving it in the end and she hugged me and cried one last time before she left. and i left for my country for the vacation.

 

when we were both back in our country i didnt know the **** feeling i had was missing her.. but i thought it was something else and kept myself occupied as much as i can that i couldnt text her that much at all., nor skype her. everyday of our lives were spent on skype before this. she missed me way too much to the point where she said **** it and decided to break up with me., i cried , she cried..we sorted it out and she gave me one last chance.. this is where it didnt go well cause i didnt know what was at stake..though i worked on my anger issues..the others hadnt been dealt with yet..

 

6 months goes by and im back in the country that im studying in and it wasnt that good..she was always pissed ..she was rude and cold.. and then in november we got into a fight and she came back saying its done for good. and she never wants to get abck with me.

 

i tried talking to her a week later, no luck.. then i told myself **** this..ill work on myself and move on..i stopped stalking her and i went almost to everyone i knew for emotional help but one one understood me.. and then i start talking to this girl A. she and i text everyday who lives in another city..we talked i went to see her, and we had good times., i was spending time with A during christmas where i got a text from K wishing me merry christmas.. i broke down.. and i wished her back.. then 4 days later i take A back to my city in a train and everything that happened with K flashed right infront of my eyes of how i took her back to my city from the airport in the same exact train..

 

i cried infront of A and she was there as my emotioanl support..she supproted me and asked me if i still love K and i said yes..she understood that and she said lets just be friends and lets work on getting K back. on new years eve i see K is playing with this someone on steam., A and i do some stalking and we find out K is daing this new guy.. i really crumbled ... i said okay..this doesnt matter im still gonna try for her...texted K,

 

K would take hours to reply to my "hey" , would take hours to respond as shes alwys busy playing with this new guy ( new guy is from a country that has 13 hours Time dofference) they were both on vacation so they played all day long until januray 15 where her school started... a few days before this she didnt show any signs back and i said **** this **** and i decided to move on where i never texted her for almost 4 days... she texts hey..whats up and all that. right when i decide to move on ... so i start talking again..start asking if she wants to play like before ...start asking if she wants to skype ...she kept refusing everything...she would talk like 2 hours with me for the whole day.. and i would spend the day stalking her... then one day K just blew up and showed so much anger, ive never seen her that angry,..she texted so rude and even told me to go **** myself... i said okay..whatever,..have a good life and i said goodbye and then she immidiatley says what if i come back and youre already with someone...shes like i know you told me how you feel and you wanna get back but dont keep bugging me about it all the time, im with someone and i cant spend t ime with you... i said goodbye and i left..

 

next day she texts me about a girl that used to interfere in our relationship before and how she saw her on her instagram feed..i didnt respond..,

the next day she texts asking what my status meant , which was "random somebody" on whatsapp

then i told her im leaving back to my country...cause (personal reasons) i told her what it was ..and i just left...

she texts the other day when i was waiting for aconnecting flight saying "take care and havea a safe journey" she asked me what i was doing i said im bored waiting and we talked for long. told her im gonna board the plane and i was online texting someone else..she texted like she had right over me asking why are you still online when you said youre gonna board.. i just felt happy to that.. cause duh.

then i tell her when i reached home..and all that ..fast forward to february 4th..

and thing is they cant play much or talk much during the weekdays cause of the time zones.. so A i s still her e helping me telling me to hold on till the other guys school starts.. and said after that its gonna get worse for them and you can move in.. i waited.. we texted for awhile (a bit longet than useual) almost everyday.. except weekends cause it was their time.. and on friday, K replied nothing but "waitup" ...20 min past i said "hello?" she replies with "Wait up" again.. i just said im going and left cause i dint like waiting, asuuming she was talking to him. well it was true but she came back and i asked why she asked me to wait she says "me getting single" and thats when i was so happy..i thought okay shes almost here !

 

so after that we spent the whole weekend toghther.. friday , saturday and sunday.. and on sunday she tells me something she hid from me during our last 6 month relatiosnhip..she didnt cheat she says but she went on the same 3-d chat site i mentioned and created another account on it that i didnt know about.. better than cheating but still..

so she says that and tells me that the guy she jsut broke up with (L) .. L and K are gonna paly together on monday ..i was like WTF.. i thought he was out of your life...and she was like hes jsut a friend ! i never saw anyhting in him and i promised him ill be his friend and he just wants to spend time with me...i lost it ...but i maintained my cool, tried negotiating , giving an ultimatum...but ended up agreeing cause she asked me to trust her and not act like the way i was before..she got super pissed in the process ...

so on monday i think the guy didnt show up ..she didnt tell me why or anything, but they didnt play.. good for me.. but they still talk. and im concerned about it..

 

today is thursday. right now what the situation looks like is whenever i bring it up she gets really pissed.. i told her what im looking for and that ill never be her friend..im looking to get back..she says she needs time to work on it though shes single.. she told me she cant just jump back into a relationship with me..true but i need hopes to hold on and not get lead on..

so i said gove me something to hold onto cause im starting to give up this is going nowhere...keep in mind that she had no friends before but right now she has a couple of friends including L.. and this is something new for me and all of these people are online. none in real.. on tuesday she says right now i dont trust you at all., so maybe give me time to trust you.

she texts me almost all the time since friday ., telling me what she does like where she goes, when she does it..like shower, eat , school..

i asked her im losing hope and if i should leave ? she asked do you wanna..i asked her back if she wanted me to and she says no..

yet i have a feeling she talks to L., she tells me she causal texts everyone she knows..i asked what of me ..she said "yeah, for now" (she casual texting me too) idk what that means.. right now idk what she wants..she texts me everyday.. all the time, we play every evening and all of the weekend..yet she asks for time and time to trust me..

shes acting wierd whenever i bring up something that is close to relationship like or from the past..if i ask her about getting back togehter or if i dont know if she will she gets pissed. ...

 

i have no idea if she'll come back .. i need help on what is going on in her mind..is she close to coming back?

!! and as of me..ive really worked on myself as a person, i ve worked on my flaws, m anger issues and everything she didnt like and i can say myself im changed now!!

but sometimes she keeps saying im the same..and yells and gets pissed at me ..i always keep my calm.. im ready to treat her like the beautiful woman she is.

 

i need help and i dont have anywhere else to go to but here...if youve read the whole thing and youre answering this..

my heart felt thank you..

but please dont cal her a bitch or anything else and tell me to move on..cause ive tried and i cant.. i love her. and i wanna spend my life with her <3

[ExpatInItaly]

My very blunt take:

 

Both of you have a lot of growing up to do before you can be in a relationship. There is far too much drama and childish behaviour from you and from her.

 

Real relationships require compromise, mature communication and mutual respect. They also require quality time spent together, in person. This friendship you have with her is severely lacking in all of those areas.

 

I sense you're both very young and inexperienced in real-life relationships. But you will learn as you get older that the real world is generally far more rewarding and satisfying than virtual life. Get out and meet some local girls. Go on dates. The likelihood of this working out with "K" is very, very slim, my friend.

[smackie9]

My very blunt take:

 

Both of you have a lot of growing up to do before you can be in a relationship. There is far too much drama and childish behaviour from you and from her.

 

Real relationships require compromise, mature communication and mutual respect. They also require quality time spent together, in person. This friendship you have with her is severely lacking in all of those areas.

 

I sense you're both very young and inexperienced in real-life relationships. But you will learn as you get older that the real world is generally far more rewarding and satisfying than virtual life. Get out and meet some local girls. Go on dates. The likelihood of this working out with "K" is very, very slim, my friend.

wow I'm glad you had time to read through that post lol.

[justwhoiam]

my heart felt thank you..

You're welcome

 

dont [...] tell me to move on..cause ive tried and i cant.. i love her. and i wanna spend my life with her <3

Ok, let's say you love her and have a bad crush on her. Still, she does things you don't like and that hurt you deeply. Things you can willingly accept and compromise with on a rational level, but that will hit you back like a boomerang. No matter how hard you try to convince yourself that you're OK with something, if it keeps bugging you and you're obsessing over it, there's no way to make it better than what it is. On the other hand, she doesn't seem like the kind who will compromise.

That said, it looks like you both spend too much time online. She is definitely addicted. She would spend entire days with you playing games online, and had an account on the side to talk and play with other people. You both seem to have no life out of the cyberworld. Bad, alienating combo.

[d0nnivain]

I read the whole thing. Ugh.

 

There is nothing for her to come back to. You had more a virtual relationship then a real one & it was rocky at that. You admit you ignored her in favor of on line video games during the one & only time you two spent actually together IRL.

 

 

You two were fighting & cold to each other on line. She had a whole other OL persona you didn't know about where she was interacting with other guys. She apparently has a BF now.

 

 

Chalk this up as a failed experiment in LDRs. It may have been fun while it lasted but you have no meaningful ability to live in the same country & have a real relationship.

 

 

Get off your computer & go date the girl down the street that you can see everyday, talk to without the use of a device & who you can actually touch periodically.