Ilovelifeforwhatcome Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 These last 2 weeks have been a struggle for me, this came at a bad time since I'm travelling. I had felt something off w my long distance partner and I found out that he has had emotional connection issues w people in his life. We met online and met in person 3 times, he wanted the relationship and said I love you 1st. He went on a trip as well. He told me he confided in a good friend. He loves me, but isn't happy and his friend said well you just aren't happy. He confided in several of his other friends and they did not understand. It was hard for him to let go and I am devastated. I kept messaging him and he would respond. I told him nc for a week to see what happens and he agreed and didn't want me berating him, I caved an texted him, he did respond, but I can't pick up how he feels. He is not sexually driven nor is he a party type person (he is an introvert). We didn't say anything nasty to each other, though I made the mistake of giving an ultimatum. He said we could try again, he just wants to be alone, I'm willing to give him space, but I don't want to be in limbo. I can see he has a hard time ending it and so do I. This feels different from other situations involving break ups and such. When I broke up w/my ex, I had the same pit in my stomach, but I was strong and didn't speak to him after I asked for my stuff. Idk why I can't keep away, I guess I see hope? opinions? Link to post Share on other sites
Life lessons Posted February 20, 2017 Share Posted February 20, 2017 These last 2 weeks have been a struggle for me, this came at a bad time since I'm travelling. I had felt something off w my long distance partner and I found out that he has had emotional connection issues w people in his life. We met online and met in person 3 times, he wanted the relationship and said I love you 1st. He went on a trip as well. He told me he confided in a good friend. He loves me, but isn't happy and his friend said well you just aren't happy. He confided in several of his other friends and they did not understand. It was hard for him to let go and I am devastated. I kept messaging him and he would respond. I told him nc for a week to see what happens and he agreed and didn't want me berating him, I caved an texted him, he did respond, but I can't pick up how he feels. He is not sexually driven nor is he a party type person (he is an introvert). We didn't say anything nasty to each other, though I made the mistake of giving an ultimatum. He said we could try again, he just wants to be alone, I'm willing to give him space, but I don't want to be in limbo. I can see he has a hard time ending it and so do I. This feels different from other situations involving break ups and such. When I broke up w/my ex, I had the same pit in my stomach, but I was strong and didn't speak to him after I asked for my stuff. Idk why I can't keep away, I guess I see hope? opinions? Give the NC an honest try. See if he reaches out to you first. If not then wait until he does....if he does. If not then you'll know he has no interest at the moment. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 20, 2017 Share Posted February 20, 2017 Long distance relationships are tough because we don't get so many of our needs met. Your guy is in this situation. He cares about you but doesn't get to enjoy you in real time. It's just not enough for him. Your ultimatum wasn't a mistake. It was simply you expressing your boundaries. Telling someone that you're not going to wait in limbo for them is entirely sensible. Let him go. It would allow you both to be free to find a relationship which meets each of your needs. Link to post Share on other sites
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