zombiehead Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Caught my wife taking nude photos of herself with her phone. Asked what she was doing and she said they were for her, then she said they were for me? We dated 3 years and have been married for 12 years and she has never sent me a nude pic or a sexy pic for that matter. One week goes by, I hear her in our bathroom so I peek in and she is again taking nude pics of herself and posing too. I don't say a word for 3 days hoping the pics will be coming to me but nothing came. Last night I confronted her about the 2nd nude photo shoot I witnessed. I told her to give me her phone so I can check it. She has her phone locked and will not let me in it. I told her there needs to be 100% transparency in our marriage. She through a fit about this slamming doors saying everyone is needs privacy. This is all new with her. She never locked her phone, she has also shut down her email on our shared home PC. She is always on her phone and she seems very happy, like she is a teenager or something. Also she is being overly nice to me, telling me I'm her best friend, we are a team, initiating sex all the time. There is something going on. There is a rat in the woodpile. I think she is having an affair. My gut is screaming at me. I'm going to try to find a way to get in her phone and see what she is up too. Do you people think I'm crazy or do you think she is having an affair? Link to post Share on other sites
aileD Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 You're not crazy. She's cheating. 40 Link to post Share on other sites
aileD Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Get a voice activated recorder and put it in her car. I bet you you'll catch her talking to whoever she's cheating on you with in her car 11 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Ahh yeah you have more than a few red flags flapping here. I am not usually one to jump to conclusions, but you have a serious problem on your hands. She is taking nude pics, sending them to another guy. Emailing and texting him, and is as giddy as a school girl from the extra attention and perhaps sex. As a woman who has cheated - she's cheating. And BS on the privacy no access to phone crap. She is your spouse, there shouldn't be secrets on that phone, but obviously there are. 25 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs. John Adams Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Yes I would be doing some real digging here... if she is taking nude pix and not sending them to you... they certainly are not for herself. I am really sorry because I think trouble is ahead for you 11 Link to post Share on other sites
Overtaxed Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Yeah man, not to pile on.. But there's absolutely no doubt she's having, at best, an emotional affair. At worst, physical. Not a shadow of doubt, no woman takes selfie nudes "for herself". And the phone lock, even without the selfies, is already incriminating (my WW's phone lock "appeared" just around the time of the start of her affair). Sorry man, if you need evidence, the VAR is a good idea. But, frankly, IMHO, you have all you need at this point to confront. Wait a few days for it to settle down, then sit down with her in a relaxed setting and explain to her, if she doesn't unlock the phone for you, RIGHT NOT, she can leave the house tonight and D papers will be there shortly. Because, without a shadow of doubt, there's going to be something incriminating on that phone. BTW, if she does start to spill the beans, don't "forget" about unlocking the phone. I was trickle truthed for weeks after I found out; had I not cracked her phone and recovered the TXT messages, I probably would have stopped in my discovery before it was all out. You need that phone for proof of either what did or what did not happen. The mind movies you'll play are probably worse than the reality; at least for me, finding the electronic evidence was a relief, I saw what really happened and, while terrible, wasn't what I had pictured in my mind. 11 Link to post Share on other sites
Author zombiehead Posted February 10, 2017 Author Share Posted February 10, 2017 Thanks, tonight when she is sleeping I'm going to try to unlock her phone. She has it finger print protected, so I guess I'll have to put her finger on the phone without waking her up. Do you think that will be possible? Or should I tell her, let me in your phone or you can pack your stuff and move out? I have an old cell phone that I could put in her car on voice record. It has a strong battery and could hold up at least 18 hours. I'll do that tomorrow and in the meantime I'll go buy a voice activated recorder from bestbuy. Locked phone, nude pics, zero transparency, overly nice (guilt), yup there is a rat in the woodpile. I'm trying to find the humor in this but the truth is I feel like dying, I feel like crying. I have already cried several times today. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Just a Guy Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Hi Zombie, can you not check your phone records to see if she has been contacting one particular number? If you do find such a number you can go from there. Also if you can afford it a PI would crack the case for you in a matter of days. Warm wishes. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author zombiehead Posted February 10, 2017 Author Share Posted February 10, 2017 Phone records are not showing anything. Her calls are clean. She is smart so she is probably using a messaging app of some sorts. Also she switched to wifi calling default so those calls and texts are not showing any contact information, just the number of wifi and text calls. If she is send out the pics through a messaging app it will not show on the phone bill. Link to post Share on other sites
GoldenR Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Check phone records. Check her fb pms. VAR, keylogger. She's cheating. Her privacy reply is LITERALLY what they all say. Every. Single. One. Of. Them. Asking for her phone right now "or else" would be a mistake bc she'll have sanitized it after the initial confrontation. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
40somethingGuy Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Caught my wife taking nude photos of herself with her phone. Asked what she was doing and she said they were for her, then she said they were for me? We dated 3 years and have been married for 12 years and she has never sent me a nude pic or a sexy pic for that matter. One week goes by, I hear her in our bathroom so I peek in and she is again taking nude pics of herself and posing too. I don't say a word for 3 days hoping the pics will be coming to me but nothing came. Last night I confronted her about the 2nd nude photo shoot I witnessed. I told her to give me her phone so I can check it. She has her phone locked and will not let me in it. I told her there needs to be 100% transparency in our marriage. She through a fit about this slamming doors saying everyone is needs privacy. This is all new with her. She never locked her phone, she has also shut down her email on our shared home PC. She is always on her phone and she seems very happy, like she is a teenager or something. Also she is being overly nice to me, telling me I'm her best friend, we are a team, initiating sex all the time. There is something going on. There is a rat in the woodpile. I think she is having an affair. My gut is screaming at me. I'm going to try to find a way to get in her phone and see what she is up too. Do you people think I'm crazy or do you think she is having an affair? 1000% cheating. This could have been written by me and my situation. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author zombiehead Posted February 10, 2017 Author Share Posted February 10, 2017 She stopped her email from coming to our home PC a few weeks ago. However all prior emails are still there, and yup back at the beginning of November she opened a new Skype account and in December a Tango account. I just pulled up her profile pic on those and she is trying to look naughty/sexy. Also she is not using her real name, it is a fake sexy name. Man my heart is racing, pounding hard and my hands are shaking. She is having an affair, now I need to find out if it is just a cyber affair or a traditional in person affair. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
40somethingGuy Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 She stopped her email from coming to our home PC a few weeks ago. However all prior emails are still there, and yup back at the beginning of November she opened a new Skype account and in December a Tango account. I just pulled up her profile pic on those and she is trying to look naughty/sexy. Also she is not using her real name, it is a fake sexy name. Man my heart is racing, pounding hard and my hands are shaking. She is having an affair, now I need to find out if it is just a cyber affair or a traditional in person affair. EA is just as bad as a PA except maybe you won't have to worry about STDs with the EA. She has her heart and mind elsewhere. I am sorry. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Unfortunately, all the signs point to her cheating. It may be "just" an emotional affair (EA) at this point, but it could easily progress rapidly from there. Get what evidence you need, but give some thought to how you will handle this if your suspicions are correct. Would you be open to reconciling if she comes out of this obsession? Or, would you call it quits? In the latter case (or if she is unwilling to let this go), you might want to have a lawyer lined up, and act quickly. Remember that hacking her phone or recording her conversations can be a felony, so do that only for your own information, knowing that you cannot use it in court, say. Best not to even tell her how you know, since she could turn it on you - and to her advantage - if she is intent on leaving you no matter what. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
GoldenR Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Want to shock her back into reality? File. Today, tomorrow. Asafp. You can always stop it from going thru. 10 Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 She stopped her email from coming to our home PC a few weeks ago. However all prior emails are still there, and yup back at the beginning of November she opened a new Skype account and in December a Tango account. I just pulled up her profile pic on those and she is trying to look naughty/sexy. Also she is not using her real name, it is a fake sexy name. Man my heart is racing, pounding hard and my hands are shaking. She is having an affair, now I need to find out if it is just a cyber affair or a traditional in person affair. You know everything you need to know. She is untrustworthy - divorce her. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Get a Digital VAR's and hide one in WW car and in the house where she takes most of her calls. Then get a real time GPS for WW car. Last install a key logger for the home computer. Then you will be getting your proof. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
T-16bullseyeWompRat Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Var in her car is the best bet outside of a PI. So, have you thought of a plan of action when you have your evidence? because you will get it. I would guess the affair is already physical. Stop having sex with her. She might not be using protection and you could get an STD. Protect yourself. Do you have kids? Sorry man. No chance she isn't having an affair. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Every further investigating will only approve what you already know - She's cheating, and also will give you some more information about the exact nature of her cheating. So now when you know she's cheating, what are you going to do about it? Are you going to put yourself in the weak side - being angry, accusing her, shouting, crying?? Or you want to take full control of your life and take some decisions... You seek for her response but her response is irrelevant. Why would you care what other lies \ excuses \ BS she'll feed you? The answer that you don't care at all. Knowing she's cheating, you must plan, decide and execute your decision. Today. If it was me, even if i would be willing to reconcile, I would first file for divorce, and her the papers, and only then talk about the terms of reconciliation from a position of power. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
Author zombiehead Posted February 10, 2017 Author Share Posted February 10, 2017 We have 2 kids, boy and girl they are twins. I'm so heartbroken right now. I proposed to her on Valentine's day, which is almost here. This year it will mean nothing but pain and betrayal. Hopefully this is not real, and I'm crazy. The nudes are innocent and so are the apps the locked phone and her behavior. I know that is not the case, she is probably having either a cyber affair or traditional affair. I'm going to collect more before I confront again. Thanks for all your help. Link to post Share on other sites
GoldenR Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Everything lolablue said above. Don't cry. Don't beg. Don't say, "but I love you....please stop". Everyone here can tell you that the same thing, bc if you appear weak, that will drive here away and make her feel like she's in control. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 (edited) Hopefully this is not real, and I'm crazy. The nudes are innocent and so are the apps the locked phone and her behavior. I know that is not the case, she is probably having either a cyber affair or traditional affair. I'm going to collect more before I confront again. Thanks for all your help. It's very natural to wish that maybe she's innocent. Denial is a shield which protects us from pain. But the sooner you stop hoping, the better you'll handle it. You caught her, she had the chance to be honest, yet she chose to lie. You caught her again, she lied again, with excuses that shame your intelligence. You search for a solid proof, for what? Why? Because you want to confront. Why? to see her twisting and winding trying to make up some more lies? You want to confront the wife you know in a relationship you know. But the wife and the relationship you know are dead, belong to the past. The minute you recognize that, you'll feel better and start doing things out of thinking about your interest and not out of frustration. Edited February 10, 2017 by lolablue17 8 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 (edited) Caught my wife taking nude photos of herself with her phone. Asked what she was doing and she said they were for her, then she said they were for me? We dated 3 years and have been married for 12 years and she has never sent me a nude pic or a sexy pic for that matter. One week goes by, I hear her in our bathroom so I peek in and she is again taking nude pics of herself and posing too. I don't say a word for 3 days hoping the pics will be coming to me but nothing came. Last night I confronted her about the 2nd nude photo shoot I witnessed. I told her to give me her phone so I can check it. She has her phone locked and will not let me in it. I told her there needs to be 100% transparency in our marriage. She through a fit about this slamming doors saying everyone is needs privacy. This is all new with her. She never locked her phone, she has also shut down her email on our shared home PC. She is always on her phone and she seems very happy, like she is a teenager or something. Also she is being overly nice to me, telling me I'm her best friend, we are a team, initiating sex all the time. There is something going on. There is a rat in the woodpile. I think she is having an affair. My gut is screaming at me. I'm going to try to find a way to get in her phone and see what she is up too. Do you people think I'm crazy or do you think she is having an affair? Oh she's up to no good! Inappropriate behavior and the fact she freaked out like that, yes she's having an affair. Hire a PI. Go stealth, get the information you need before confronting her again. Talk to a lawyer and get divorce papers ready. Doesn't mean you have to file or divorce her, but just having them ready will be a HUGE power move for you, especially if she refuses to end her affair and lies to you about ending it and wanting to save the marriage. Sorry she did this to you, and sorry that she's about to bust up your family unit. So selfish. Edited February 10, 2017 by whichwayisup 4 Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 (edited) Friend, there are enough red flags in your first post to stampede a herd of bulls. I wouldn't put too much effort into this years Valentine's Day. This might be the perfect day to confront her. Talk to a lawyer first. Edited February 10, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator typo ~6 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author zombiehead Posted February 10, 2017 Author Share Posted February 10, 2017 I can't make the decision to divorce this quickly. My head is spinning I can't think straight. I need some time to think this through. I want to know the extent of the betrayal before I decide anything. What if it is with my brother or one of my close friends? What if it is a cyber affair with some guy who lives in Spain? I don't know what is going, but I do know she is having some sort of affair. Until I know more I'm not going to make any decision about the future of our marriage. I'm going to try and get in her phone while she is sleeping and put a VAR in the car, if that doesn't work then I will probably and her D papers. I can't live my life like this, so I will be executing an action plan soon. I just need to take some time and think it through. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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