CaliforniaGirl Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 Holy cow. You were used and treated terribly, betrayed, tricked...I am so sorry this happened to you. Link to post Share on other sites
QuietDan Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 You need to proceed with a lot of careful consideration in what your actions will be. Your first priority needs to be to your children and how to protect them from the potential adverse consequences of your wife's actions. Due to the potential sex crimes legal issues, you might have to actually be a lot more severe and less patient and tolerant than you might be inclined to be. I am concerned that if you do not take the appropriate steps, if the State and DCPS are made aware of this both of your custodial rights might be in jepordy by State agencies. You probably need to seek legal advice on how to react and proceed to protect your children from any potential unintended consequences. Link to post Share on other sites
MickeyBill Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 (edited) Quiet Dan has a point, you may need both a divorce and a criminal attorney if the kids are involved at all. A photo she might post on facebook of her and the kids at the park takes on a whole different meaning if she sends the same pic to the OMs along with her spicy shots, showing mom in the daytime and cybersex toy at night... I assume that her face is visible in the photos she was sending? I don't know if lawyers come under this, but teachers, medical people, care givers are required to report any suspected child abuse to the police or CPS. Sigh. Edited February 13, 2017 by MickeyBill Link to post Share on other sites
goodyblue Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 Man, I am just sick inside reading this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author zombiehead Posted February 13, 2017 Author Share Posted February 13, 2017 Google reverse pic search on porn selfies not turning up anything so far. She did not include her face on the nudes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author zombiehead Posted February 13, 2017 Author Share Posted February 13, 2017 OMG I had no idea google has porn images. My kids are now not allowed to use google. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MickeyBill Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 That's a relief! There's one smart thing she did. One misspelled word in google can take you to a place you didn't intend to go... Does she have any reaction or explanation? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 Google reverse pic search on porn selfies not turning up anything so far. She did not include her face on the nudes. At least she had enough sense not to show her face. Not that it's going to help you much but..... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author zombiehead Posted February 13, 2017 Author Share Posted February 13, 2017 Its much more than 8. More like 8 multiplied by 10 or 20. Many have come and gone since July 2015. Link to post Share on other sites
Author zombiehead Posted February 13, 2017 Author Share Posted February 13, 2017 No evidence yet that she met anyone IRL. Lots of fantasy sex chat, it is pretty ridiculous actually. When the OM ask personal questions about her life she stops chatting. Then when the OM takes it back to sexual fantasy land chat she starts responding again. I'm seeing a pattern. Link to post Share on other sites
AnneP Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 No evidence yet that she met anyone IRL. Lots of fantasy sex chat, it is pretty ridiculous actually. When the OM ask personal questions about her life she stops chatting. Then when the OM takes it back to sexual fantasy land chat she starts responding again. I'm seeing a pattern. How is she behaving? I'm really sorry this has happened to you. Hope you're able to get some sleep and be able to think clearly. Link to post Share on other sites
Just a Guy Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 Hi Zombie, am really sorry for what you are having to face. Quite frankly, your wife is not wife material at all. That aside I think right now you need to take the criminal aspect very seriously right now. Consult a lawyer in confidence about any infringement of criminal laws that your wife may have committed, even if, inadvertently. You cannot act to protect your wife from any such laws as that will make you a collaborator, something you were not. If your wife has breached any such laws then you should act according to advice by your lawyer. Do not decide to do things on your own. If your wife has to go to jail then you need to be out and about to look after your kids. Any wrong move on your part could land you in jail too, and you do not want that. For the test, you have received some good advice. Take the time to process it when you are in the proper frame of mind and have rested adequately. As I suggested a while ago, try and lean on a close family person or a very good friend at this time. You need the support otherwise you may break down under the strain. Warm wishes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
merrmeade Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 I've had only a few hours sleep over the last couple of days. My energy mental level is near zero. The twins want to ride bikes to the park so that is what I'm going to do. She can stay home and have all the porn chat she wants. Actually she tries to call it "flirting". No flirting is not telling a guy you want him inside you and send porn selfies. I dont know what you call it, but it is not flirting. Yeah, my husband did that, too - used the word "flirting" for everything that wasn't intercourse. I've decided when they do that, they mean the game of getting s/b else interested, then aroused - whether it's talk or touch. They're saying flirting like teasing, being provocative, suggestive. It's the chase and the sexual tension. The fact is your wife has probably never put what she's doing in any kind of reality based context. There is someone who's been on this forum for some years whose wife started her cheating online like this - with nude pics and some kind of fantasy situation I think. It ended with a real affair. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
AnneP Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 OMG I had no idea google has porn images. My kids are now not allowed to use google. Do your kids use iPads or computers? I blocked safari on my kids iPads. Deleted YouTube and have restrictions on their iPads where they cannot even download apps. KidsTube is a good alternative for YouTube. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author zombiehead Posted February 13, 2017 Author Share Posted February 13, 2017 Wife and I are going to together for STD screening this afternoon. Fun times, happy memories!! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 Wise choice. Are you going to have her take a Poly to make sure that she has not met up with anyone? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
vanhalenfan Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 I am guessing she did meet up with men IRL then if she is going for an STD check? Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetfish Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 OMG I had no idea google has porn images. My kids are now not allowed to use google. You can enable safe search on google 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author zombiehead Posted February 13, 2017 Author Share Posted February 13, 2017 I have found no evidence that she has met any of them IRL. The STD screening is my call, and I schedule us together for the screening. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 Please don't forget an HIV test. You have to ask specifically for it and re test in 3 and 6 months. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
BuddyX Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 Wise choice. Are you going to have her take a Poly to make sure that she has not met up with anyone? This is not a bad idea given it's not a debate over quantity but rather Yes/No Link to post Share on other sites
MickeyBill Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 Her not fighting the STD test ("How dare you not trust me!") probably means she knows what she has or has not done IRL. So if no contact, no worries. Has she been open and forthcoming with what she's been doing or just letting you find out things on your own? How sure are you that you know all her ways of communicating? Is there TT going on? What's her mood like after you found out? Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 It's good that you're getting tested, OP. So what are you going to do? Are you definitely going to divorce her? Honestly, the secret taping and sending out of the videos and so on would be something I couldn't get over, personally. And I'd be pressing charges. Are you considering R? Link to post Share on other sites
HereNorThere Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 I see an irresponsible, drunk, lying, cheating, victimizing sex offender of a woman in at least 50 affairs and willing to violate you for another mans sexual satisfaction and put your entire future into jeopardy. So, you've provided us a million reasons why you need leave this abuser and none of why you should stay. I get the feeling you are going to rugsweep all of this and let get away with it. Why? Why do you feel you do not deserve better? You need to get to the bottom of that. There's no reason to keep her around but something tells me she's going to walk away free and clear. The only person who has to deal with this now is YOU. She could obviously care less. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 I see an irresponsible, drunk, lying, cheating, victimizing sex offender of a woman in at least 50 affairs and willing to violate you for another mans sexual satisfaction and put your entire future into jeopardy. So, you've provided us a million reasons why you need leave this abuser and none of why you should stay. I get the feeling you are going to rugsweep all of this and let get away with it. Why? Why do you feel you do not deserve better? You need to get to the bottom of that. There's no reason to keep her around but something tells me she's going to walk away free and clear. The only person who has to deal with this now is YOU. She could obviously care less. I agree...OP...why? Link to post Share on other sites
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