Mr. Lucky Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 She is an exhibitionist by the way. Exhibitionism is when you display yourself. It becomes something much different when you involve someone else without their consent. And to deepen the level of betrayal, these weren't photos of the OP stepping out of the shower, they were videos of him engaged in the most intimate of activities. Zombiehead, given both the illegal nature and scandalous content of what has occurred, you're never going to have more leverage than you have right now. I'd file and make her move out under threat of exposure and prosecution. If, by some miracle, you decide reconciliation makes sense, it can always occur down the road - and on your terms... Mr. Lucky 5 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 Holy cow. You were used and treated terribly, betrayed, tricked...I am so sorry this happened to you. Link to post Share on other sites
QuietDan Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 You need to proceed with a lot of careful consideration in what your actions will be. Your first priority needs to be to your children and how to protect them from the potential adverse consequences of your wife's actions. Due to the potential sex crimes legal issues, you might have to actually be a lot more severe and less patient and tolerant than you might be inclined to be. I am concerned that if you do not take the appropriate steps, if the State and DCPS are made aware of this both of your custodial rights might be in jepordy by State agencies. You probably need to seek legal advice on how to react and proceed to protect your children from any potential unintended consequences. Link to post Share on other sites
MickeyBill Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 (edited) Quiet Dan has a point, you may need both a divorce and a criminal attorney if the kids are involved at all. A photo she might post on facebook of her and the kids at the park takes on a whole different meaning if she sends the same pic to the OMs along with her spicy shots, showing mom in the daytime and cybersex toy at night... I assume that her face is visible in the photos she was sending? I don't know if lawyers come under this, but teachers, medical people, care givers are required to report any suspected child abuse to the police or CPS. Sigh. Edited February 13, 2017 by MickeyBill Link to post Share on other sites
goodyblue Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 Man, I am just sick inside reading this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author zombiehead Posted February 13, 2017 Author Share Posted February 13, 2017 Google reverse pic search on porn selfies not turning up anything so far. She did not include her face on the nudes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author zombiehead Posted February 13, 2017 Author Share Posted February 13, 2017 OMG I had no idea google has porn images. My kids are now not allowed to use google. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MickeyBill Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 That's a relief! There's one smart thing she did. One misspelled word in google can take you to a place you didn't intend to go... Does she have any reaction or explanation? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 Google reverse pic search on porn selfies not turning up anything so far. She did not include her face on the nudes. At least she had enough sense not to show her face. Not that it's going to help you much but..... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 Is she still doing this? Have her delete all if her accounts. If she won't then your choice. She is an exhibitionist by the way. She didn't think it was cheating because it had no emotional or physical tie with the OM. She was straight with them that she was not going to have sex with any if them, that Z was all she needed and wanted physically. By what Z found all she did was praise him for being a great husband. She got off on other men seeing her and went after Z for the pleasure of it. Not saying any of what she did was right. She should have talked to Z before she did any if this. She should not have lied when he caught her taking nude pics. There are a lot if things shew should not have done. But, by what has be said by Z, she at least has not been physically or emotionally attached to another. Still cheating, but not as bad as it could be. You're making assumptions. How do we know for sure she hasn't had any physical contact with any of those eight guys? And she DID understand fully well it was cheating and lying because she kept it all a big secret from her husband! Stop minimizing it and making excuses for her bad behavior. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author zombiehead Posted February 13, 2017 Author Share Posted February 13, 2017 Its much more than 8. More like 8 multiplied by 10 or 20. Many have come and gone since July 2015. Link to post Share on other sites
Author zombiehead Posted February 13, 2017 Author Share Posted February 13, 2017 No evidence yet that she met anyone IRL. Lots of fantasy sex chat, it is pretty ridiculous actually. When the OM ask personal questions about her life she stops chatting. Then when the OM takes it back to sexual fantasy land chat she starts responding again. I'm seeing a pattern. Link to post Share on other sites
AnneP Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 No evidence yet that she met anyone IRL. Lots of fantasy sex chat, it is pretty ridiculous actually. When the OM ask personal questions about her life she stops chatting. Then when the OM takes it back to sexual fantasy land chat she starts responding again. I'm seeing a pattern. How is she behaving? I'm really sorry this has happened to you. Hope you're able to get some sleep and be able to think clearly. Link to post Share on other sites
Just a Guy Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 Hi Zombie, am really sorry for what you are having to face. Quite frankly, your wife is not wife material at all. That aside I think right now you need to take the criminal aspect very seriously right now. Consult a lawyer in confidence about any infringement of criminal laws that your wife may have committed, even if, inadvertently. You cannot act to protect your wife from any such laws as that will make you a collaborator, something you were not. If your wife has breached any such laws then you should act according to advice by your lawyer. Do not decide to do things on your own. If your wife has to go to jail then you need to be out and about to look after your kids. Any wrong move on your part could land you in jail too, and you do not want that. For the test, you have received some good advice. Take the time to process it when you are in the proper frame of mind and have rested adequately. As I suggested a while ago, try and lean on a close family person or a very good friend at this time. You need the support otherwise you may break down under the strain. Warm wishes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
merrmeade Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 I've had only a few hours sleep over the last couple of days. My energy mental level is near zero. The twins want to ride bikes to the park so that is what I'm going to do. She can stay home and have all the porn chat she wants. Actually she tries to call it "flirting". No flirting is not telling a guy you want him inside you and send porn selfies. I dont know what you call it, but it is not flirting. Yeah, my husband did that, too - used the word "flirting" for everything that wasn't intercourse. I've decided when they do that, they mean the game of getting s/b else interested, then aroused - whether it's talk or touch. They're saying flirting like teasing, being provocative, suggestive. It's the chase and the sexual tension. The fact is your wife has probably never put what she's doing in any kind of reality based context. There is someone who's been on this forum for some years whose wife started her cheating online like this - with nude pics and some kind of fantasy situation I think. It ended with a real affair. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 What's your plan for the week? You need to get a plan together and take action on that plan. Leaving her with no consequences means she will just keep disrespecting you. This isn't a woman you thought she was. Is she willing to do intensive counseling? What is she saying about repairing the damage she has caused? I hope you can rest and gather some thoughts that will give you a plan about how to respect yourself at this difficult time. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 I will look in her phone for the original video. The one sent was edited because it begins with her pleasuring me orally then she mounts me and ends after we both finish. All you can see of me basically are my arms, hands on her body and my you know what. I'm not going to have her arrested and thrown in jail unless more to this horror comes out. I'm going to do the google reverse photo search and see if her porn selfies are circulating the internet. Oh my god! Your wife did this to YOU? Sent it to someone else? And she is still living under your roof? She may have just ruined your entire life by exposing you and embarrassing you without your knowledge... why aren't you flaming mad at HER? You can NEVER trust her again - and love doesn't look like that kind of betrayal. I can't see how she could possibly explain any of her behavior and expect to be forgiven. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
AnneP Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 OMG I had no idea google has porn images. My kids are now not allowed to use google. Do your kids use iPads or computers? I blocked safari on my kids iPads. Deleted YouTube and have restrictions on their iPads where they cannot even download apps. KidsTube is a good alternative for YouTube. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author zombiehead Posted February 13, 2017 Author Share Posted February 13, 2017 Wife and I are going to together for STD screening this afternoon. Fun times, happy memories!! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 Wise choice. Are you going to have her take a Poly to make sure that she has not met up with anyone? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
vanhalenfan Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 I am guessing she did meet up with men IRL then if she is going for an STD check? Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetfish Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 OMG I had no idea google has porn images. My kids are now not allowed to use google. You can enable safe search on google 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author zombiehead Posted February 13, 2017 Author Share Posted February 13, 2017 I have found no evidence that she has met any of them IRL. The STD screening is my call, and I schedule us together for the screening. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 Please don't forget an HIV test. You have to ask specifically for it and re test in 3 and 6 months. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
BuddyX Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 Wise choice. Are you going to have her take a Poly to make sure that she has not met up with anyone? This is not a bad idea given it's not a debate over quantity but rather Yes/No Link to post Share on other sites
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