VeveCakes Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 If it were me I would send every single one that contacts a message stating that your wife has been exposed. No way. Then they start covering their tracks. She talks to all these guys via gmail? Did she have ads on Craigslist? You said the men were from overseas, how did she meet them? I guarantee she has met these men if they are emailing her on Vday. You don't do that to people you just sext on the regular. Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 While I don't agree with trying to track down all these guys and their families. I think sending "this is the her husband, never contact her again" emails would be prudent. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 . She talks to all these guys via gmail? Did she have ads on Craigslist? You said the men were from overseas, how did she meet them? I guarantee she has met these men if they are emailing her on Vday. You don't do that to people you just sext on the regular. It sounds like she met them on porn sites - the kind that users can do live webcam interactions. Correct me if I am wrong OP, but I did not get the indication that she was placing craigslist ads for cyber sex. From what the OP has told us, this has all been cyber sex. If she was meeting them in person - wouldn't there be evidence of that in her emails? Rather than the fact that according to the OP she told these men that she was doing it for "spice" that she loved her husband and had no intention of going anywhere. OP also said anytime they tried to ask personal details that she would go cold on them. I do not think it's too unreasonable to think that horny guys would send their favorite cyber sex chick a "happy Valentine's" note. OP, have you found any men that live close to you all? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 True I guess. I justfind it hard to believe she was that hard core and not meeting people in person also. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author zombiehead Posted February 14, 2017 Author Share Posted February 14, 2017 Vevecakes, me too but I have not found any evidence that she met any IRL. Link to post Share on other sites
Author zombiehead Posted February 14, 2017 Author Share Posted February 14, 2017 3 emails today one I matched with a Skype contact the other 2 IDK. Link to post Share on other sites
MickeyBill Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 Don't reveal anything to the OMs right now. You should keep that avenue of info open until you know for sure she didn't have a double secret email for her favorites. Did she go on any out of town trips during this time? Link to post Share on other sites
HereNorThere Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 Protip - If you want to make sure that Skype account deletes and cannot be reactivated, change the password to a long string of random characters that you can't remember. I usually open a text editor (like Microsoft Word, notepad, whatever) type a long string of garbage, copy and paste it into the change password dialog, deactivate, close the text editor without saving and viola! Keep in mind that you may need to change the email address associated with it so she can't hit the forgot password button. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
TobyBoy Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 So she was doing webcam sessions? Was she getting paid? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Damia Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 If it were me I would send every single one that contacts a message stating that your wife has been exposed. A slightly different set of circumstances ......... but for what it's worth I made my (nowX) husband tell his OW to confess to her husband. I gave them a time limit or I would do it myself. Worked a treat, everyone was then on the same proverbial page and we could all make our own decisions with the same set of facts.......... Give or take a bit of gaslighting and trickle truth!! And I'm sure the confession was torture for her ? All the best zombiehead , take your time, don't rush anything. Think then act, try not to just react. Unfortunately it will still be there tomorrow and the day after that. Decisions made in the heat of a moment can come back to haunt you. You have the time consider all options. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author zombiehead Posted February 15, 2017 Author Share Posted February 15, 2017 Cant sleep, it's really starting to hit me. Processing it is intense. Since July 2015 our marriage was a lie. Christmas 2015 and 2016 she was cheating, the twins birthdays, mother's day, father's day all a lie. A dark shadow is over those memories now. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 Cant sleep, it's really starting to hit me. Processing it is intense. Since July 2015 our marriage was a lie. Christmas 2015 and 2016 she was cheating, the twins birthdays, mother's day, father's day all a lie. A dark shadow is over those memories now. She needs professional help. She has a sexual addiction to online activities. It's awful what she's done to you and your kids. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 Cant sleep, it's really starting to hit me. Processing it is intense. Since July 2015 our marriage was a lie. Christmas 2015 and 2016 she was cheating, the twins birthdays, mother's day, father's day all a lie. A dark shadow is over those memories now. Ya...and you should be flaming mad at her! I can't even believe you're being patient with her bull crap manipulation. She didn't just cross a line - she is way beyond anything that's forgivable. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 She doesnt know that her APs are emailing her happy Vday. I'm logged into her gmail and I changed the password. One asked where she has been and if she is going to have any "her time" today. It takes Skype a minimum of 30 days to deactivate an account. I'm sure she is getting messages there but if I log in then it goes back active. I'm trying hard not to log in and check. 3 emails today one I matched with a Skype contact the other 2 IDK. The only reason for this type of continued investigation is to collect evidence. You already have enough evidence to end 10 marriages - let it go. At this point, you're just pain shopping. ZH, what is your life going to look like a week from now? Month from now? Year from now? This is what you should be thinking about, planning for and discussing with a lawyer. I'd forget about URL's, usernames and online accounts and start thinking about reclaiming your life and sanity... Mr. Lucky 4 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 The fact she filmed you having sex without your knowledge is just plain wrong and if did that to her you'd be out of the house and possibly be served with divorce papers. Throw in all the other stuff she's done, just shows again how messed up she is. This isn't the woman you married. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 The fact she filmed you having sex without your knowledge is just plain wrong and if did that to her you'd be out of the house and possibly be served with divorce papers. Throw in all the other stuff she's done, just shows again how messed up she is. This isn't the woman you married. It's true. And from what she's done she will spend her life living in the consequences of her bad behavior. Likely looking over her shoulder for the rest of her days wondering who will recognize her or know. Hope it's not her kids as they get older. Staying attached to her is rewarding bad behavior - and you can only expect more of her same behavior if you stay. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ThatsJustHowIRoll Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 The fact she filmed you having sex without your knowledge is just plain wrong and if did that to her you'd be out of the house and possibly be served with divorce papers. Throw in all the other stuff she's done, just shows again how messed up she is. This isn't the woman you married. It's not just wrong - it's illegal. Change the narrative - if a man secretly filmed his wife having sex and then distributed to others without her knowledge? Wow Such a violation. That would end my marriage without a doubt. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
merrmeade Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 Since July 2015 our marriage was a lie. Christmas 2015 and 2016 she was cheating, the twins birthdays, mother's day, father's day all a lie. A dark shadow is over those memories now. Ah, yes, the memories. The word "memory" takes on a whole new meaning. Your questions about the nature of reality, perception and existence will make you a philosopher. You realize that 'his-story'—YOUR history or at least the one you'd taken for granted—is not the story you thought you observed and assigned to memory at all. There was another reality going on that you must now insert into the old memory, thus editing it. To really get it straight, you will have to go back and relive what you can with new eyes. It may haunt you until you set it straight, which, of course, you never can do. The worst will be realizing where she was or what she was really thinking was completely different from the assumptions on which your first set of memories were founded. I'm so sorry. Two years is a long time, but you can console yourself that mine was decades though not all of that was in question. Ultimately this is one edit that won't get perfectly sorted out. I've heard people fall on different parts of the spectrum regarding how important this clarification is. I can't really tell you what helps those on the low end but hope for you, OP, that your need is less than mine was and you can live outside that shadow. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 It's not just wrong - it's illegal. Change the narrative - if a man secretly filmed his wife having sex and then distributed to others without her knowledge? Wow Such a violation. That would end my marriage without a doubt. So true. I wouldn't be worried about telling the other men... She could do what she wanted with them because she would be out the door. I don't know how you could ever forgive such a violation of trust. I don't think that I could. Link to post Share on other sites
AnneP Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 Cant sleep, it's really starting to hit me. Processing it is intense. Since July 2015 our marriage was a lie. Christmas 2015 and 2016 she was cheating, the twins birthdays, mother's day, father's day all a lie. A dark shadow is over those memories now. Is she losing sleep? Is she remorseful? How is she acting? I know this has to be hard. My heart goes out to you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 The fact she used you to please other men without your knowledge shows you how far she will go for thrills. What assurances do you have she wouldn't secretly film your children if someone asked her? That would be my concern with someone that broken. Someone asked earlier, is she charging these men a fee to watch her? Who knows how many men have seen her, you and the inside of your home? You might be living with an internet celebrity. This is not going to be an easy and quick fix, is she prepared to do what it takes? You need to have her assessed. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 Expose all of them that you can. Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 They were man enough to have phone sex with your wife they can be man enough to face the consequences. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 I want to send the dic pic he sent my wife back to his wife. I could say, "do you recognize this dic? You should it is your husband's and he sent it to my wife just thought you should know!!" You might get in trouble doing this. Let her know you have pics of her H if she want graphic proof. Link to post Share on other sites
Cephalopod Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 What has been her emotional response to all of this? Is she devastated, relieved, sad, scared, weepy, distant, cold, needy....? Link to post Share on other sites
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