Scouring the OLD scene and eventually making a friend.

[Shanex]

This is a rather nice story I'd like to share, I think I am in the right forum to post this.

 

Last September, I was as often checking out my free dating site in search of either a relationship, but I was also open to something more casual. An evening, I message a 26 young woman, still in a relationship about to fail. They were together for four years but the passion subsided hence her presence on this site. We have talked a lot since on Skype. We have covered some real ground together. She knows a lot about me and vice versa.

 

She lives more than 2 hours a drive from me, love her place and has her family and friends there so wouldn't move, and same for me. I'm located and happy, wouldn't move at the moment.

 

She met someone who doesn't live too far from me but very close to a major metropolitan city of 10 more millions inhabitants. She's a country girl and would never move. I live an hour from say city but close enough to greenery and cows, horses and chickens. I'm also more rural than a big city dude.

 

A week ago, I asked if she wanted to give me her number and she suggested it was about time we meet, as friends, nothing more of course.

 

Two days ago, the nice chats, chemistry and the fact that we did get along very well virtually made me want to meet her, she agreed and was very pleased.

 

So yesterday morning, took my car, refueled and drove the 200 miles to eventually meet her past noon. Visit her place, she offered a drink, we went to the veterinary together for her dog then as she lives close to the sea went for an afternoon stroll on the beach, then buy some pastry and finally a well-deserved beer in a pub.

 

Then we drove along the sea, drove her back home. Had another drink and coffee because I wouldn't sleepover and had to drive home. Left at 8pm her place, got back at my place around 10.30pm.

 

Needed to vent and share a positive story, if you cannot find love on OLD (we all know how hard it is here) you can eventually make friends. Since I have very few female friends I feel better about myself, and had a great day with her, so did she.

 

Next time she has to come to my town, distance is a bit of an issue between us, but there's something. Getting along, she is very laid back, is talkative and interesting. I was never bored the whole day.

 

So this forum is called ''in search of'.. I'm past 30 and at this age, it's difficult to make new friends, I think I just did.

 

Seriously, who would drive 400 miles and spend 5+ hours on the road the same day for meeting for the first time a new friend.

 

Life feels good... has anybody here a similar story to share?

[Popsicle]

That's a nice story.

[PhillyLibertyBelle]

I love this story too. I would love to make even just a friend from OLD!

[preraph]

As long as you don't get a crush on her, it's nice. Always nice to make a friend. But OLD is for dating, so I can't recommend anyone go there just looking for a friend. It's not fair to the ones who want to date, not be just friends.

[Shanex]

As long as you don't get a crush on her, it's nice. Always nice to make a friend. But OLD is for dating, so I can't recommend anyone go there just looking for a friend. It's not fair to the ones who want to date, not be just friends.

 

On top of being quite a nice person, she is also pretty. You're right though, it was clear in my mind I wouldn't 'try' anything that day. I am going to be honest, I had (have) a bit of a crush on her but realistically speaking and for now, we can only be friends.

 

About the OLD thing, I agree, people want to date rather than find new friends. But I don't feel like I have wasted time talking to her this long and really wanted to meet in person to officially call friendship, so to speak.

[ZA Dater]

I really like positive stories like this. Glad you have a new friend, as you say its quite hard to make friends these days.

[PegNosePete]

About the OLD thing, I agree, people want to date rather than find new friends.

Well yeah, clue's in the name

 

Great story bro but I think this kind of thing is very rare. Usually women who say they are looking for friendship are trying to protect themselves from premature advances; and guys who accept meeting as friends first are usually hoping it will go further. If you're genuinely looking to make friends then I think most people would have more success on a proper friend finding site such as meetup dot com.

[Shanex]

I really like positive stories like this. Glad you have a new friend, as you say its quite hard to make friends these days.

 

Thanks, and it is definitely rare, even more so as we get older, and especially being of different gender. I am puzzled that some people are still genuine about being friends, without other hidden thoughts.

 

Well yeah, clue's in the name

 

Great story bro but I think this kind of thing is very rare. Usually women who say they are looking for friendship are trying to protect themselves from premature advances; and guys who accept meeting as friends first are usually hoping it will go further. If you're genuinely looking to make friends then I think most people would have more success on a proper friend finding site such as meetup dot com.

 

Aye. When we first started talking online both of us understood quickly enough that a relationship would be difficult, despite the chemistry. We chat a time or two a week on Skype so to not be ''burned out'' and have some stuff to talk about every other day. She really appreciated that unlike many men I wouldn't harass her of either Skype calls, texts or regular call. We talk when we feel like it, I don't always initiate, either.

 

I have heard of meetup already (that or similar sites for friendship) but never bothered to sign in.

 

In the long run, she is staying over where she lives and me too, for now. I am not delusional about actively court her because she wouldn't like it. I think that in my situation, both of us can suggest things, like when she subtly suggested we should meet (not in that phrasing) and I bit the bait, for the better of course.

[Mumbles]

... I am puzzled that some people are still genuine about being friends, without other hidden thoughts.

 

Ahh, I think you're right to be skeptical about this.

 

I've grown old and cynical perhaps, almost certainly, but I think its really difficult for men and women, particularly _available_ men and women to be friends.

 

IME when this appears to be the case there is really something else going on. Either the lady (or me) wants more, or to explore for more, or, less frequently, they are trying to gain access to your circle of friends in order to find 'someone'.

 

Nothing wrong with any of that, its the nature of society and the mating game - all perfectly above board really, no cry no foul. But true platonic friendships without an agenda? Pretty rare I think. Possible of course, but rare.