alone to pick up the pieces AGAIN.

[BeyondConfused1n]

Okay guys so here it goes. I went backwards today and broke NC.

 

I woke up this morning and I just truly missed him and what we had and I broke it. I reached out to him through whatsapp. I was an idiot I know I know I was thinking that we could have a real second chance in the future. When maybe all the pain is gone, because what we initially had was so beautiful. Im not over it something is wrong with me because that is over.

 

He told me to leave him alone and to NEVER contact him again. He told me he has not hated anyone in a long time but that he HATES me and he told me to go rot in hell. Ouch that hurt. He's not that kind so I know his hate feelings are strong.

 

He told me that we can't even be friends EVER. He said that the day I left those rotten flowers in our apt for him to clean up, along with broken weeding invitations, he threw it all in the garbage and it has been picked up. I def left the place a mess, I was angry. When I reached out to him the day before I picked up my furniture he ignored me and then told me that he was having fun and living life. That his life wont stop for me and that he was happy. That I could be miserable by myself. He also told me "thanks for helping me pay the rent for the month of February". When we broke up I told him to speak to the landlord and tell her what was going on so that he could get the deposit back. I couldn't pick up my belongings until the 4th of this month so he offered to pay the rent for the month while being unemployed. He refused and kept pushing it (He's dismissive avoidant) so I left it up to him. I spoke to the landlord myself but I was not willing to pay anything. We broke up in mid January, we had more than enough time to get it together.

 

We had some plans of maybe working it out but I knew how much he wanted to stay at home because he is unemployed.He decided to QUIT his job with no backup in December when he had $2,200 worth of rent bills a month. He blamed this on me as well. He said this was my fault because "I wanted him to quit" FALSE. I did not like his job because it was full of whores, and that's where he met his EX, the one right after me whom I knew about while being with him. I was waiting for him to leave to the army before he quit. Granted I hated the place but it was helping us pay our bills.He intended in waiting for an Army job as a commissioned officer but his medical clearance took a while and from the looks of that the military in the US is a WAITING game. It's all on their time. The whole point is I didn't want to tell him what to do and I told him "are you sure you want to quit?" his response was "I'll have a job in January, don't you trust me?" So I left it alone because if I nagged everyday, WOULD have been a PROBLEM. He spent all December playing video games while I went to work and honestly it became a huge turnoff. He always claimed to become lazy around me, because I am laid back and don't have plenty of hobbies in the winter. I like to RELAX after being out of the house for 12 hours a day in between work and commute. Im a spring/summer/fall girl. I hate going out after the weather reaches below 30FH. I go to work because I must.

 

I know I screwed up bad, I left him. He said I walked out and that said alot because I would normally not do that. I left because I was stressed and overwhelmed. He did not talk to me or eat for 48 hours. He kept saying only one of us could be happy that we would never be happy together. I couldn't take it anymore. I was getting emotionally DESTROYED. I tried and tried to talk and he refused. Kept saying the same thing over and over again that only one of us could be happy but never happy together. To add on he began talking to some girl that liked him about our problems and I was not willing to forgive that without him apologizing. Instead he refused to stop talking to her and said that I didn't understand him and that she did. Every time I tried to talk to him, he told me hes not a verbal communicator, I mean I really didn't know how else to TRY or communicate.

 

I feel bad at this situation and everything he told me. I know im not perfect but at the same time I feel some satisfaction at the fact that he is now experiencing some pain. Last year he dumped me and went right into his rebound and told me he didn't even think of me AT ALL. I know I shouldn't feel good at all but yeah.

 

Why am i so stupid to even want someone like this back? I just feel like ill never meet someone better than him. I see him going on and the girl who ends up with him will be lucky. I probably wont find anyone like him or better. He did tell me that I had no self respect or self worth before I met him and he was right. I always settled for very little and when he showed me the way a real woman is supposed to be treated I fell HARD. Im TORN

 

 

It's extremely hard to go NC. It seems to be the buzz word getting tossed around when things don't work out, or the relationship just ended, but boy it sure is hard to implement and to keep it that way. I never understood how others are able to do it and just walk away. That's just never been me.

 

 

In my opinion - Now that you got your fix for contacting him. You also know where things stand. Yes, it's another kick to the gut, and it feels like you're right back to square one, but maybe in some weird way its also one stop closer to helping you fully go NC? One can only take so much before they throw in the towel...

 

 

My Ex reached out to me today as well from a reply I sent to her a few days ago. Since we've broken up she's been busy being out and about, so I'm not really sure what to make of this. This is not her reaching out to be on her part, but rather her replying to a message I sent her a few days ago. Now that the "Holiday Weekend" of fun is probably over she is willing to hear what last thoughts I had to say to her from a few days ago, so my guess is if I decided to talk to her. I would be re-opening the can of worms with NC just like you did. For her its been easy to go no contact. At this point I've been the one trying to make the contact and she's been saying the same line over and over again. One would guess she is just being nice enough to hear me out, and let me know the same thing she has been saying since we broke up.

 

 

In your own words from your OP "I would like to encourage those DUMPEES on this site today to take me as an example and MOVE ON. Leave the past where it belongs in the past and see your ex as an EXperience."

[BeyondConfused1n]

That's what it was like for me at first. Every waking minute of every day - it was torture. Now I have moments where I don't think about it so it has gotten better. Still frequent, but nothing like it was. I can only feel that this is the progression to full healing.

 

Yes, it's ironic that dogs were the cause of your pain and the salvation from mine. Keep thinking about that though. How horrified you were of the smell every time you went into her bedroom. How she was so unwilling to compromise and how she set no boundaries for her dogs and likely wouldn't have with your future kids. At one point I'm sure you were thinking of ending it because of this, no?

 

But when someone ends it first you lose all control. It has a detremental effect on your ego and causes intense pain. Not to say this has all to do with ego but it's a big part. It causes you to overlook all the problems and focus on only the good. It's hard to remember the bad times but they were there - otherwise you wouldn't have broken up.

 

I would recommend seeing a therapist. It will help you determine your role so you can prevent it from happening in the future. It does help to speak to someone who is forced to listen too. It's not a magic fix but overall I think it's been helpful. I did some things that pushed her away which I won't do if I ever find a girl I want to make a gf again.

 

But the only true fix is time

 

 

It wasn't just horrified of the dog smell, but disappointed as well. To me it seems like a small issue to address if one was willing. I think over time we both over looked it for a while and she was over my place more, which caused friction since I never went over there due to the dog smell. She did try to set small boundaries a few months ago, but it wasn't enough to address the dog smell. Her boundaries were to not have the dogs in the room while I was there, but five other days the dogs would be in the room and smelling it up. No matter how hard she would try to clean. The smell wouldn't ever go away.

 

 

Yes, we did think this was a big issue, but I loved her and we both ignored it until it started to become more of a problem until she just gave up I suspect. To me it's just sounds so childish to end a great relationship. I didn't think it existed therefore I figured we could somehow overcome it. However, I didn't not think it would be through us breaking up.

 

 

It sure is detrimental. Weather its to an ego, or whatever. It hurts. What hurts even more is this person walked away so easily, and is now just out and about enjoying life. Taking weekend trips like all is well. Yet, I remember on two occasions she would mention to me that she didn't spend enough time with the dogs, and now that she has the time. She's going out. I remember both the good and bad, but there really was a lot of good. Towards the end there was more bad as we would argue more and more about everything, but that was probably because of the resentment from one another due to this dog issue not going anywhere.

 

 

I will probably go see a therapist and make sure all the checks and balances are in order, and learn what I could have done, or should have done differently. I wish we (my ex and I) could have done that together to find a resolution or figure out that it really wouldn't have ever worked...

[BeyondConfused1n]

Beyond confused, I can't begin to tell you how much I feel your pain. I thought about ending it with my ex a million times over the issues she had with poor judgement and slack parenting but I never did. We cared for each other so much that both of us turned a blind eye to some major compatibility issues for a long time. This created a situation full of resentment and unfortunately I have lost one of the best friends I ever had. You need to focus on those compatibility issues. Focusing on all of the negatives that she brought to the table is the only thing that gets me through the day.

She was borderline neglectful towards her 4 children and dogs.

She was selfish and arrogant

She expected too much from others and took advantage

She was an alcoholic who refused to see the problem

She had very poor communication skills

four children and two dogs not getting their needs met created massive stress

She was 41 years old and still hadnt figured it out.

Trying to keep up with her situation was mentally exhausting.

She was so into Facebook and watching movies that I would just stare at the ceiling towards the end

 

How I fell in love with someone like that I am not sure. I will tell you this. She was beautiful. Drop Dead Gorgeous 5-10 long blonde hair softest skin I had ever felt. She smelled fantastic always I don't know why but something about the way she smiled just always gave me goosebumps. She held me like I have never been held and our passion was unparalleled. The eye contact and electricity was incredible as was the sex the entire year and a half. We shared a deep connection. Same humor... could always finish each other's sentences and could order dinner without having to ask because we knew each other so well.

 

I will never forget all of the good things and the good times we shared the feeling of that wonderful connection but I spend my days reading that first part of the list. I couldn't live like that and she wasn't going to change. I was becoming unhappy. She was definitely the best I ever had. But a life with her would have been a life of Chaos, stress and resentment.

 

Today she comes to get her things. We will have a final discussion and a hug. And then I'm going hardcore NC. I might even move. Now that I have my freedom back I can do whatever I want. All that money I was spending taking care of her children and her will be spent doing things that I love to do. No more impossible schedules. No more bickering and state of constant conflict between children. I keep telling myself things like this. Stay strong everybody and wish me luck

 

 

I thought about ending it with my Ex due to the dog hygiene issue early on, but we had so much else going for us on I thought it was premature to pull the plug when everything else was going so great. Over time for me it started to build resentment that I felt like I would come second place to an animal after I was doing so much for her. And from her point of view it she built resentment because I didn't feel the same way about the dogs, and I wanted them out of the bedroom, and she felt she would always compromise by having to come to my place, and me never going to hers, which was due to the dog smell. Her solution was to change the bed sheets if I was over, but even with that. The room still smelled and I couldn't stand it, so over time that built up.

 

 

Your list of negatives were the exact opposite of how my ex treated her dogs. She was overly attentive. Only gave them bottled water, had both of them on prescription food, would watch them on a camera throughout the day when she was away from them, would always tells them she loves them before she left the house. If the dog was walking funny she would rush them to the doctors (because one cant be left home alone). To me it seemed over the top.

 

 

 

 

""How I fell in love with someone like that I am not sure. I will tell youthis. She was beautiful. Drop Dead Gorgeous 5-10 long blonde hair softest skinI had ever felt. She smelled fantastic always I don't know why but somethingabout the way she smiled just always gave me goosebumps. She held me like Ihave never been held and our passion was unparalleled. The eye contact andelectricity was incredible as was the sex the entire year and a half. We shareda deep connection. Same humor... could always finish each other's sentences andcould order dinner without having to ask because we knew each other so well."" You just described my ex to a T and how our relationship was when we were not arguing about the dogs.

 

 

Now that we broke up. I got to see how this person really is, and it's not at all how I pictured her to handle it. I guess you really do find out a persons true colors when things end. But I too was starting to head down a road of resentment as I felt I came second to the dogs, which caused frication.

 

 

Regarding you moving on and going NC. Good for you Trichrome. I'm glad to hear you are able to come to terms and go NC. Day by Day they say it gets better. Stay Strong!

[kztar]

It's extremely hard to go NC. It seems to be the buzz word getting tossed around when things don't work out, or the relationship just ended, but boy it sure is hard to implement and to keep it that way. I never understood how others are able to do it and just walk away. That's just never been me.

 

 

In my opinion - Now that you got your fix for contacting him. You also know where things stand. Yes, it's another kick to the gut, and it feels like you're right back to square one, but maybe in some weird way its also one stop closer to helping you fully go NC? One can only take so much before they throw in the towel...

 

 

My Ex reached out to me today as well from a reply I sent to her a few days ago. Since we've broken up she's been busy being out and about, so I'm not really sure what to make of this. This is not her reaching out to be on her part, but rather her replying to a message I sent her a few days ago. Now that the "Holiday Weekend" of fun is probably over she is willing to hear what last thoughts I had to say to her from a few days ago, so my guess is if I decided to talk to her. I would be re-opening the can of worms with NC just like you did. For her its been easy to go no contact. At this point I've been the one trying to make the contact and she's been saying the same line over and over again. One would guess she is just being nice enough to hear me out, and let me know the same thing she has been saying since we broke up.

 

 

In your own words from your OP "I would like to encourage those DUMPEES on this site today to take me as an example and MOVE ON. Leave the past where it belongs in the past and see your ex as an EXperience."

 

Beyondconfused,

 

Thank you so much for the reminder. I think im both at square one but a step closer to really closing that door. Well he already slammed it in my face.

 

It is extremely hard to go NC. I think for me the hardest part is that although I was not happy, I feel like I wont do better than him. I better get this off my mind but thats what kills me .

 

I think that with your ex saying the same line over and over again is a sign. This is how to get rid of someone. This is all my ex did while I was still living with him trying to work on the problems. REPEAT over and over again. It really gets you STUCK.

 

Try and post here when you have the urge to text her. I know how hard it is.

[kztar]

I thought about ending it with my Ex due to the dog hygiene issue early on, but we had so much else going for us on I thought it was premature to pull the plug when everything else was going so great. Over time for me it started to build resentment that I felt like I would come second place to an animal after I was doing so much for her. And from her point of view it she built resentment because I didn't feel the same way about the dogs, and I wanted them out of the bedroom, and she felt she would always compromise by having to come to my place, and me never going to hers, which was due to the dog smell. Her solution was to change the bed sheets if I was over, but even with that. The room still smelled and I couldn't stand it, so over time that built up.

 

 

Your list of negatives were the exact opposite of how my ex treated her dogs. She was overly attentive. Only gave them bottled water, had both of them on prescription food, would watch them on a camera throughout the day when she was away from them, would always tells them she loves them before she left the house. If the dog was walking funny she would rush them to the doctors (because one cant be left home alone). To me it seemed over the top.

 

 

 

 

""How I fell in love with someone like that I am not sure. I will tell youthis. She was beautiful. Drop Dead Gorgeous 5-10 long blonde hair softest skinI had ever felt. She smelled fantastic always I don't know why but somethingabout the way she smiled just always gave me goosebumps. She held me like Ihave never been held and our passion was unparalleled. The eye contact andelectricity was incredible as was the sex the entire year and a half. We shareda deep connection. Same humor... could always finish each other's sentences andcould order dinner without having to ask because we knew each other so well."" You just described my ex to a T and how our relationship was when we were not arguing about the dogs.

 

 

Now that we broke up. I got to see how this person really is, and it's not at all how I pictured her to handle it. I guess you really do find out a persons true colors when things end. But I too was starting to head down a road of resentment as I felt I came second to the dogs, which caused frication.

 

 

Regarding you moving on and going NC. Good for you Trichrome. I'm glad to hear you are able to come to terms and go NC. Day by Day they say it gets better. Stay Strong!

 

I can't blame you for overlooking the dog issue though. It is easy to overlook these things when we are so happy in every other aspect of the relationship. This is key for our future relationships. Things that can potentially turn into incompatibility. I know myself, I ignored alot of red flags but these cannot be ignored early on as they will only lead to bigger problems later.

[kztar]

I expect you are emotionally exhausted. You have been through this relationship twice now and it has not worked. It sounds like he was not the most empathic person in the world and it is bound to hurt that he is not suffering from the break-up. You are but that shows you are a person with feelings and who is capable of love.

 

I would imagine you are feeling down about the break-up (as anyone would be), disappointed that you risked it again, and, as I said, exhausted. You just need time to recover.

 

You might have forgotten what it is like to feel good too. This is something you can build up by having happy experiences with people who care about you and by achieving things that matter to you. It is all to easy to feel battered and forget that that is not the norm for you because it has become so familiar. I am sure with healing time you will regain your old self. This time you will be stronger because you know what matters to you. You will know what to look for in a relationship. The experience was not good but it is experience and you have learned such a lot.

 

Spider,

 

Thank you for you words and you are so right. I forgot what it feels like to feel good. Haven't felt good alone since summer 2014. I must work on being happy again. I try to look back at how happy I was before I met him and now I hope to reach an even happier stage as I am older and wiser.

 

I know it's the past but I look at pictures to remind myself that I was single and happy.

[BeyondConfused1n]

Beyondconfused,

 

Thank you so much for the reminder. I think im both at square one but a step closer to really closing that door. Well he already slammed it in my face.

 

It is extremely hard to go NC. I think for me the hardest part is that although I was not happy, I feel like I wont do better than him. I better get this off my mind but thats what kills me .

 

I think that with your ex saying the same line over and over again is a sign. This is how to get rid of someone. This is all my ex did while I was still living with him trying to work on the problems. REPEAT over and over again. It really gets you STUCK.

 

Try and post here when you have the urge to text her. I know how hard it is.

 

 

I agree. Each time that door gets slammed in your face by some sort of negative feedback / reaction from your Ex partner maybe it helps us move closer to that NC place.

 

 

Thinking of the future is always hard when you are fresh out of a relationship. Believe me. I am right there with you. I still cant sleep, I cant eat, I cant stop thinking about anything else but this person. The only few minutes I get of piece and clarity is the 20 minutes I get to dose off only to wake up to a panic attack. Its brutal. All while my Ex is out and about with the girls on her holiday weekend trip. Its painful, Its down right rude, its very very low for someone to do that. In my opinion. I guess you really get to see how that persons true colors are when you break up, or when times get tough.

 

 

There are a lot of times that I feel I will never find someone I was so infatuated with, and someone I had such a deep connection with, and such a deep love with. Now I often times find myself thinking bout weather that was only me that felt that way, which hurts. Either way - If this person is "Better / Best" part of our lives. Then we wouldn't be here posting about our loss, which must mean there is more? At times it feels like life has a cruel way of taking our EX out of our lives.

 

 

As for the lines my ex keeps telling herself. I dunno. Whatever the case may be. If you love someone. You would find any reason to stay and try and work on your issues. Running from your issues doesn't resolve / change a damn thing. You only hurt the other person, and a relationship envolves two people. Somewhere a long the lines people forget that and start making decisions based off their self only and don't think about the impact it will have to the other person. Just my opinion.

[Sweetfish]

Wait im confused...? you just broke up with someone... (Mr. Good nor Evil) were not talking about the same person or someone else?

[kztar]

Sweetfish, we broke up a month ago. I remember you commenting on my other thread with me philosophical.

 

This is more to the story

[kztar]

I agree. Each time that door gets slammed in your face by some sort of negative feedback / reaction from your Ex partner maybe it helps us move closer to that NC place.

 

 

Thinking of the future is always hard when you are fresh out of a relationship. Believe me. I am right there with you. I still cant sleep, I cant eat, I cant stop thinking about anything else but this person. The only few minutes I get of piece and clarity is the 20 minutes I get to dose off only to wake up to a panic attack. Its brutal. All while my Ex is out and about with the girls on her holiday weekend trip. Its painful, Its down right rude, its very very low for someone to do that. In my opinion. I guess you really get to see how that persons true colors are when you break up, or when times get tough.

 

 

There are a lot of times that I feel I will never find someone I was so infatuated with, and someone I had such a deep connection with, and such a deep love with. Now I often times find myself thinking bout weather that was only me that felt that way, which hurts. Either way - If this person is "Better / Best" part of our lives. Then we wouldn't be here posting about our loss, which must mean there is more? At times it feels like life has a cruel way of taking our EX out of our lives.

 

 

As for the lines my ex keeps telling herself. I dunno. Whatever the case may be. If you love someone. You would find any reason to stay and try and work on your issues. Running from your issues doesn't resolve / change a damn thing. You only hurt the other person, and a relationship envolves two people. Somewhere a long the lines people forget that and start making decisions based off their self only and don't think about the impact it will have to the other person. Just my opinion.

 

I think you're right if they were the best part they would still be here. Looking at my previous relationships although at one point I was hurt I am so glad that they didn't work out. I am able to see clearly why they didn't work out and why they never will and I'm super cool with that. I hope this one is the same because everything does happen for a reason.

 

I just hope to see that reason soon enough!

[kztar]

Today im looking back at my single days before I met him and oh how I miss those days. If I can only snapback into that single phase and live like a free spirit.

 

I think im going to be single for life. Relationships are soooo much work and effort. Im terrified of potentially going through this called heartbreak again, so i will avoid it. I am DRAINED like never before.

[Trichrome]

I'm sorry to hear of your painful interaction ktzar . It seems like we're on a similar schedule because I too broke no contact. It happened pretty innocently cuz I was returning a text about some logistic issues regarding the severing of ties. It seems though, once those gates open the flood pours in.

The text Conversation almost stayed business until the end. I told her I was having a moving company move all of her things to a storage locker that I would pay for for a month well she figured out what her permanent arrangements are going to be. I told her I had sent a letter to US Cellular releasing my claim to her phone and phone number. And height told her she could drop my keys through my mail slot when she returned my vehicle that evening.

This is where things begin to get emotional. I had bought her a gorgeous eternity band as we were to be married. There was no engagement ring or wedding band just the one eternity band signifying that our bond was for life (17 diamonds set in platinum because diamonds are her birthstone and she was born on the 17th) and she had agreed to return it to me given the circumstances. I told her when I gave it to her that if she ever changed her mind about forever then all she had to do was hand it back and not say a word. I planned on giving it to my son if he ever meet a girl who made him feel the way she made me feel.

She was supposed to leave it in the glove box of my car but at the last minute she said that she wasn't ready to let go of it yet. This infuriated me and made me very emotional. When I asked her why she wasn't ready to let go of it she told me that for her it wasn't over.

She ended up knocking on my door and we talked for a while and cried hard. This was immediately followed by some seriously passionate love making. Then she spent the night and then another night. She wants to continue a relationship without living together. To take a step back but not to step out. I (probably foolishly)agreed and said we just need to have a talk about the logistics of that and boundaries.

To make a long story short I'm not sure which one of us is the lucky one here kztar.

There is a part of me that wishes she had just dropped the keys in the slot to prevent me from hurting anymore. to keep me safe from the probability that we will just fail again.

I don't want to give you any false hope nor encourage you to make bad decisions but I would like to make an observation about your situation. You said that it was very unlike him to be hateful towards others. A wise man told me once that the opposite of love is not hate it is indifference. It seems to me as though he is trying really hard to tell you that he feels indifferently but it is not possible to hate someone if you are indifferent to them.

I'm about to put myself under the bus here and tell you that I have more than a few things in common with your ex. Don't get me wrong I'm not anywhere near that narcissistic, have never had Facebook, and am an extremely sensitive character, but I have had some major struggles taming my ego. I have a feeling that you bruised his ego very badly when you dumped him.

Has he ever been dumped before? Or was he always the dumper?

 

It is so hard to go NC with someone you are still in love with. It is like forcing indifference that doesn't exist and faking it until you make it. Sigh. We're just ordinary people. We don't know which way to go hang in there kztar

[kztar]

I'm sorry to hear of your painful interaction ktzar . It seems like we're on a similar schedule because I too broke no contact. It happened pretty innocently cuz I was returning a text about some logistic issues regarding the severing of ties. It seems though, once those gates open the flood pours in.

The text Conversation almost stayed business until the end. I told her I was having a moving company move all of her things to a storage locker that I would pay for for a month well she figured out what her permanent arrangements are going to be. I told her I had sent a letter to US Cellular releasing my claim to her phone and phone number. And height told her she could drop my keys through my mail slot when she returned my vehicle that evening.

This is where things begin to get emotional. I had bought her a gorgeous eternity band as we were to be married. There was no engagement ring or wedding band just the one eternity band signifying that our bond was for life (17 diamonds set in platinum because diamonds are her birthstone and she was born on the 17th) and she had agreed to return it to me given the circumstances. I told her when I gave it to her that if she ever changed her mind about forever then all she had to do was hand it back and not say a word. I planned on giving it to my son if he ever meet a girl who made him feel the way she made me feel.

She was supposed to leave it in the glove box of my car but at the last minute she said that she wasn't ready to let go of it yet. This infuriated me and made me very emotional. When I asked her why she wasn't ready to let go of it she told me that for her it wasn't over.

She ended up knocking on my door and we talked for a while and cried hard. This was immediately followed by some seriously passionate love making. Then she spent the night and then another night. She wants to continue a relationship without living together. To take a step back but not to step out. I (probably foolishly)agreed and said we just need to have a talk about the logistics of that and boundaries.

To make a long story short I'm not sure which one of us is the lucky one here kztar.

There is a part of me that wishes she had just dropped the keys in the slot to prevent me from hurting anymore. to keep me safe from the probability that we will just fail again.

I don't want to give you any false hope nor encourage you to make bad decisions but I would like to make an observation about your situation. You said that it was very unlike him to be hateful towards others. A wise man told me once that the opposite of love is not hate it is indifference. It seems to me as though he is trying really hard to tell you that he feels indifferently but it is not possible to hate someone if you are indifferent to them.

I'm about to put myself under the bus here and tell you that I have more than a few things in common with your ex. Don't get me wrong I'm not anywhere near that narcissistic, have never had Facebook, and am an extremely sensitive character, but I have had some major struggles taming my ego. I have a feeling that you bruised his ego very badly when you dumped him.

Has he ever been dumped before? Or was he always the dumper?

 

It is so hard to go NC with someone you are still in love with. It is like forcing indifference that doesn't exist and faking it until you make it. Sigh. We're just ordinary people. We don't know which way to go hang in there kztar

 

Hi Tri,

 

Technically he was dumped once but in hs. He is usually the dumper. First sign of trouble he is gone. He told me this when we started dating (I know red flag)

 

I did bruise his ego tremendously and I know he is not doing as good as he was the first time when he dumped me. I mean it took him less than two months to move on completely.

 

He really hates me though. I don't expect to hear from him ever again and I doubt he will ever forgive me. or maybe he will but he wont forget. Lucky for him it's okay because he simply got a taste of his own medicine.

 

But yeah we dont know which way to go. so sadddd. But you hang in there too. It will get better.