mikeylo Posted April 23, 2017 Share Posted April 23, 2017 Wow ! A 16 year old in such a mess. Good luck again Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConcernedMom Posted April 24, 2017 Author Share Posted April 24, 2017 We are going to try and break the news to him with his therapist on Tuesday. He was just finally getting to a point where he was starting to not be incredibly depressed over her and started to move on with help of his therapist and his friends. But now we have to try and build a bridge back with her and her family that we might have burned prematurely. Link to post Share on other sites
Whoknew30 Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 Got the DNA test back and it is my sons, Not sure what we are gonna do we haven't told him yet because we aren't sure his reaction to the news. Asked his therapist and she said we need to break it to him sooner or later regardless of the negative reaction he could have. But he has been doing so well emotionally and he is getting back on his own feet physically and has started PT. Just really worried about ruining that progress. I know this is a extremely difficult situation & your son comes first to you...but you can't shield him from this. The ex is pregnant & pregnancy can make a girl insane...i was completely different during my pregnancies. So she could very much turn back to normal after she has the baby. She's young too & her & your son are going to be bonded for life wether you like it or not. Maybe you should start by having a both family councling seasion, it may get ugly but there's a baby coming that everyone is going to have to put first. My daughter is the same age & letting go is extremely difficult in a typical situation & this is to be heartbreaking to you...but I come from a family that everyone was married & had kids well before 20 & we all had no choice but to grow up...it can be done. After he gets stronger, he has no choice but to grow up quickly, he's going to make mistakes, she's going to make mistakes...your job is to do what you're doing but not to shield him from the consequences from his actions. He can't grow as adult if being treated like a child...he's not the first person i. The world that's had to grow up due to their own choices. I understand giving him some time but as you know, once one has kids, they come first. Good luck mom! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 Got the DNA test back and it is my sons, Not sure what we are gonna do we haven't told him yet because we aren't sure his reaction to the news. Asked his therapist and she said we need to break it to him sooner or later regardless of the negative reaction he could have. But he has been doing so well emotionally and he is getting back on his own feet physically and has started PT. Just really worried about ruining that progress. Did you arrange the DNA test or did she? Hopefully it was you. If it wasn't then be careful that the results weren't tampered with.. Yes sooner rather than later. He will need all your love and support. You all have a grand child and it's time to put that little on first. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConcernedMom Posted May 3, 2017 Author Share Posted May 3, 2017 I arranged the DNA test, of course I didn't want anything fishy to happen. We finally broke the news to him with the help of his therapist and things could have gone better defiantly could of gone worse. But we had a big get togeather with her and her parents and myself and my ex and my son and talked about how things are going to go and support and visitation ext. Two of them couldn't talk to one another honestly without it turning into a screaming match so my son got frustrated and just walked out and sat in the corner. Not sure how they are going to successfully parent a child if they can't even talk to one another without it devolving into a fight every time. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted May 3, 2017 Share Posted May 3, 2017 Not sure how they are going to successfully parent a child if they can't even talk to one another without it devolving into a fight every time. To put it bluntly, sometimes it's OK for a 16-yr old to act like a child. But when his own child is depending on him, he'll have to act like a man. Grandma (to be ), I have a feeling your going to be very involved. I just hope it's by choice rather than necessity... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 5, 2017 Share Posted May 5, 2017 I arranged the DNA test, of course I didn't want anything fishy to happen. We finally broke the news to him with the help of his therapist and things could have gone better defiantly could of gone worse. But we had a big get togeather with her and her parents and myself and my ex and my son and talked about how things are going to go and support and visitation ext. Two of them couldn't talk to one another honestly without it turning into a screaming match so my son got frustrated and just walked out and sat in the corner. Not sure how they are going to successfully parent a child if they can't even talk to one another without it devolving into a fight every time. It wasn't that long ago they were on okay terms... Everybody has to put this baby first. In time, family counseling for everybody would be good for you all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConcernedMom Posted May 5, 2017 Author Share Posted May 5, 2017 I am going to be very involved but I will be involved by choice and necessity. And it can't be helped have to keep the two of them from going nuclear on one another. And yes they were on decent terms before he found out she cheated on him and broke his heart. Which for a 16-year-old who this is his first love is taking its toll in all honesty. Not really sure how to gauge his feelings right now, Even his therapist has said he has started to not even talk to her lately about what he is feeling. Tried explaining to him he needs to be at least civil with her for his childs sake and that everyone deserves a second chance and if not a second chance at least like I said earlier be civl so they can at least parent togeather for the sake of this kid. But I digress he isn't really listening to anyone and is acting on pure instictual emotion right now. Not sure what to do with him when his thearpiest can't even get through to him I am worried but I am just hoping this will pass. Link to post Share on other sites
Timshel Posted May 5, 2017 Share Posted May 5, 2017 Are you keeping up with his antidepressants? There isn't going to be an easy way to handle this. You and his dad are going to have to stay on top of his emotional swings. Continue to encourage him to speak candidly with his therapist. Tell him it's not an option to mope without letting people who care about him help. Period. He's 16. Too soon to be a dad and 19 yr. old mom, no better. Stay the course, you have to stay on top of this ConcerndMom. This is what is happening and not going to go away. Remove the locks from his bedroom and bathroom door. Increase therapy visits. Be vigilant. Pay attention, it seems you are but there is no rest for the weary. He is a hormonal teenager about to become a father. Best to you, you will need to stay strong. Link to post Share on other sites
Timshel Posted May 5, 2017 Share Posted May 5, 2017 Also, get him off any social media. If he has access to fb, twitter, Instagram, any of this bull, get him off..now. Off the grid. That means you also mom. OFF. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConcernedMom Posted May 6, 2017 Author Share Posted May 6, 2017 Remove the locks from his bedroom and bathroom, why? He basically keeps both open all the time anyways as of late mostly because of mobility and worried about falls ext. But I will bring all of this up with his therapist on Monday as she has increased his visits to three times a week now. I am trying to keep up with his antidepressants but I had to return to work recently so I am not able to watch him all of the time and that is why when I am not there either his father is there or my sister and her kids. But According to what they have said and seen he has been taking them as directed and hasn't been sneaking pain pills either. Link to post Share on other sites
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