destyn Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 To sum up a little : - We're both young. - She's very beautiful , a lot of guys follow her. - She's Scorpio , and I'm Libra ( for those astrology believers). - We were in relationship 10 months. - Normal relationship , happiness , some fights like other couples... - She broke up with me out of the blue , 3 months ago . I think because of I was needy ,clingy ,...and lack of communications. And here's the main story after the break up : One month post-breakup ,I made all the common mistakes : begged , pleaded,cried ... but we still talked normally , and she said she missed me sometimes but won't give me another chance .Two month post-breakup ,I went NC which she knew it . She told our mutual friends that I was avoiding her (actually I did) and she hated me because of it , so I tried to find some chances to explain it , which was my BIGGEST mistake : I CONFESSED MY LOVE TO HER IN FRONT OF OUR FRIENDS (two weeks ago) . I then apologized her in the next week but it's seem she hates me so much .She ignored my apologize , unfollowed me on instagram and facebook but not unfriended. She keeps posting statuses to laugh at me on facebook .All I can do now is NC to let the time heals both of us but there're a lot of guys following her I'm so sad I can do nothing about it Any suggestions would be very appreciated . Thank you all ! (sorry for my bad English , not my major language) Link to post Share on other sites
jamili Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 All the guys "following" her are her orbiters. You going NC on her probably was a blow to her ego, since shes not used to men turning their back on her and walking away. This is why she "hated" you for going Nc on her, ignoring her was blowing her mind and crushing her delicate ego (she secretly was gaining respect, and attraction for you, I bet.. and she didnt like that because she thought she was too good for you). She was butthurt that she could no longer manipulate you, and wanted to see you squirm and suffer because she dumped you. Then you showed that you still care and now she got what she wanted; the power. Keep NC from now on and dont break it. There might come a day where she tries to get it back again after you ignore her long enough, dont give it to her. Disregard all the orbiters chasing her, she uses them for attention, and doesny respect them. And never apologize for someone for loving them. Keep NC, ignore her tantrums or cries cor attention. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
marky00 Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 Jamili is spot on. It's hard to know that someone you love/like is angry with you or that you might be irritating them by ignoring them. But hate isn't the opposite of love, indifference is. She didn't really hate you. In fact deep down, you going quiet on her built up her respect for you. From now on, please just STOP. Go back to doing what you were doing before. Go full NO CONTACT. Become a ghost. After a few months, she might try to contact you again. However, if that happens, DO NOT respond right away. Instead, come back to Loveshack and seek our opinions again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author destyn Posted February 13, 2017 Author Share Posted February 13, 2017 All the guys "following" her are her orbiters. You going NC on her probably was a blow to her ego, since shes not used to men turning their back on her and walking away. This is why she "hated" you for going Nc on her, ignoring her was blowing her mind and crushing her delicate ego (she secretly was gaining respect, and attraction for you, I bet.. and she didnt like that because she thought she was too good for you). She was butthurt that she could no longer manipulate you, and wanted to see you squirm and suffer because she dumped you. Then you showed that you still care and now she got what she wanted; the power. Keep NC from now on and dont break it. There might come a day where she tries to get it back again after you ignore her long enough, dont give it to her. Disregard all the orbiters chasing her, she uses them for attention, and doesny respect them. And never apologize for someone for loving them. Keep NC, ignore her tantrums or cries cor attention. Thank for the answer Btw , I have some facebook trick which let me totally "disappear" : not showing online , reading messages without let it become "Seen" so no one know if I online or read the messages. These make it my advantages. But she know I went NC since the last time I had done it once ,now she doesn't care about it . And I'm hearing she's going to date some new guys which make me totally be sad I doubt she'll message me in the future. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 All you can do is let her go. The clingy-ness during the relationship which caused her to end things was compounded by the begging afterwards. She is never going to take you back. Sorry. You need to find a way to let her go so that you can move on & heal. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author destyn Posted February 14, 2017 Author Share Posted February 14, 2017 WHAT IF one day she contacts me through text ? Do I reply it or ignore at all ? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 WHAT IF one day she contacts me through text ? Do I reply it or ignore at all ? That is entirely up to you. If she contacts you and you want to talk to her, do so. You can't reconcile unless you talk. However, you can't contact her because she has said she no longer wants to date you & she doesn't want to talk to you (or text, e-mail, Skype, facetime, skywrite, use carrier pigeon, etc.) Don't hold out hope that she will contact you. It's unlikely to happen. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jamili Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 WHAT IF one day she contacts me through text ? Do I reply it or ignore at all ? If you cut contact asap, and stick to it, i must disagree with donnovain, she will almost definitely contact you some day. However, as whether to ignore or reply, that's up to you. The problem is 9/10 times they are contacting you for an ego boost, validation, checking to see if you are on a string, or trying to get attention. The way to weed it out is to ignore anything that doesnt make clear intentions of wanting to talk or reconcile. Link to post Share on other sites
Author destyn Posted February 14, 2017 Author Share Posted February 14, 2017 Yesterday she posted a facebook status which said "once the bubble of love has been broken , there's no way to blow it back". So I guess my hope is going way too far now Link to post Share on other sites
jamili Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 Yesterday she posted a facebook status which said "once the bubble of love has been broken , there's no way to blow it back". So I guess my hope is going way too far now People say a lot of crap during a breakup, and you really have to everything with a grain of salt. Believe actions, not words. And give it time - LOTS of time. In the meantime, don't wait around hoping. Keep NC, move on, and cross that bridge when and if you come to it. Just walk. Keeping moving forward in the meantime. It's all you can do. Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetfish Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 Yesterday she posted a facebook status which said "once the bubble of love has been broken , there's no way to blow it back". So I guess my hope is going way too far now Rule #1 already broken... Get off and block ALL social media. and like the poster said above.. Do not take anything at face value and don't take it to heart. Right now that was the victim flag and everyone will be out to rescue her. Not your problem... Get a gym membership and start hitting the gym Link to post Share on other sites
Author destyn Posted February 14, 2017 Author Share Posted February 14, 2017 A little about two of us : - She's an emotional girl deep inside but never shows it up , just always the happy-face. She's active, popular and smart, too. - I'm a little shy and totally emotional guy which always do what my heart wants me to do . - We were in a relationship that one's character would fulfill the other, but sometimes the opposites lead to mis-communication. One month after the breakup, she usually posted statuses of sadness, which made me mis-read those, so I took it seriously and confessed my love again (of course I failed) . Thank you guys for the advices which made me feel better Any further comment on our situation would be highly appreciated Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 Disconnect yourself from all her social media. You won't heal while you are cyber stalking her. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 She is completely turned off. Leave her alone because you are at the point where you are making a fool of yourself. If she is doing and saying the things you posted you have no chance with this girl. Just accept it and move on. I'm sorry. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 Thank for the answer Btw , I have some facebook trick which let me totally "disappear" : not showing online , reading messages without let it become "Seen" so no one know if I online or read the messages. These make it my advantages. But she know I went NC since the last time I had done it once ,now she doesn't care about it . And I'm hearing she's going to date some new guys which make me totally be sad I doubt she'll message me in the future. Stalking her will not let you heal. Let her go, block her and heal. It's over. Link to post Share on other sites
Bromeo Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 All the guys "following" her are her orbiters. You going NC on her probably was a blow to her ego, since shes not used to men turning their back on her and walking away. This is why she "hated" you for going Nc on her, ignoring her was blowing her mind and crushing her delicate ego (she secretly was gaining respect, and attraction for you, I bet.. and she didnt like that because she thought she was too good for you). She was butthurt that she could no longer manipulate you, and wanted to see you squirm and suffer because she dumped you. Then you showed that you still care and now she got what she wanted; the power. Keep NC from now on and dont break it. There might come a day where she tries to get it back again after you ignore her long enough, dont give it to her. Disregard all the orbiters chasing her, she uses them for attention, and doesny respect them. And never apologize for someone for loving them. Keep NC, ignore her tantrums or cries cor attention. Agreed here. Jamili is spot on. Pretty girls always have a small army of friendzoned beta (I hate using that term, but its accurate here) males around them. My ex, bartender, 5'9", brunette, big eyes, etc had these idiots sending shirtless pics to her until I put a stop to it. And this was after she had pressured me into a relationship. I cut her off recently after months of games, and I am positive that no other man has done the same. Hell, she is even friends with her "abusive" ex on FB, after the horror stories about him. Right... Point is, the more respect you have for yourself, the more they will respect you. I could care less if mine reaches out, because it is truly her loss. I cringe at the actions I took while chasing, but not the fact that I loved her enough to do so. And for gods sake, stop cyber stalking. Do you want to see her loving another man, because that is what you will get. .02c Link to post Share on other sites
Author destyn Posted February 15, 2017 Author Share Posted February 15, 2017 If you cut contact asap, and stick to it, i must disagree with donnovain, she will almost definitely contact you some day. However, as whether to ignore or reply, that's up to you. The problem is 9/10 times they are contacting you for an ego boost, validation, checking to see if you are on a string, or trying to get attention. The way to weed it out is to ignore anything that doesnt make clear intentions of wanting to talk or reconcile. Why would you think she'll contact me some day ? I see no sense in it. I made a lot of mistakes and now she's seeing a new guy . Link to post Share on other sites
jamili Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 Why would you think she'll contact me some day ? I see no sense in it. I made a lot of mistakes and now she's seeing a new guy . Because walking away and cutting contact is probably the most alpha, sexy thing a man can do. Most guys dont do it. And it shows incredible emotional strength and confidence. If the dumper is female, it will definitely come to a shock to her and get her thinking (trust me). Also, dumpers dont typically even start internalizing the loss of the relationship for 6+ months or even longer... you have to wait until they revist it, and be gone so they can miss you. I would be very surprised if she never contacts you again, truly. But just make sure you ignore the breadcrumbs, dont fall into that trap. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author destyn Posted February 15, 2017 Author Share Posted February 15, 2017 What's then if she's in a relationship with a new guy by that time ? 6 months is a long time that could happen anything Link to post Share on other sites
goldway90 Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 What's then if she's in a relationship with a new guy by that time ? 6 months is a long time that could happen anything By that time you should be dating other women, sitting in your room waiting for her to comeback isn't going to work. Let's just say she returns after 6 months and finds you waiting for her like a white knight, do you think that's attractive? No it shows that you're needy guy who can't even move on and you'll get dumped again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author destyn Posted February 16, 2017 Author Share Posted February 16, 2017 Why she's so mean to me ? She keeps telling our friends how bad I am. Link to post Share on other sites
bluefeather Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 let her go. she needs to mature, and so do you. man, I feel old. Link to post Share on other sites
Author destyn Posted February 16, 2017 Author Share Posted February 16, 2017 Should I unfriended her on facebook or just unfollowed to not to see what she posted ? Which would be better ? Link to post Share on other sites
bluefeather Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 you unfriend and block her everywhere, and stop stalking her like a weak little punk. Link to post Share on other sites
Author destyn Posted February 16, 2017 Author Share Posted February 16, 2017 Thank you This is my first relationship so I don't know how to handle situations well. Any further advice pls ? Link to post Share on other sites
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