My gut tells me something is up... need s

[Curveyou99]

I've never done this before, but I don't feel like I have anyone I can talk to about it.

 

Long story short, I was dating this man for almost 3 years until

I broke up with him due to issues with his behavior, and not wanting to mature (he's younger than I am). I loved him more than any man I've ever been with, but I had to let him go to keep my sanity and see if he would learn. I thought of him daily, and I hated it. We were separated for a year until I ran into him at the grocery store. I was overwhelmed with emotion, so I turned the other way and ignored him. Later that night I decided to text him and told him I struggled with seeing him. He responded, and I decided it was best to not reply. 3 months later he texted me, we decided to meet up, and the emotions were high for both of us. We were both involved with others, and broke it off immediately so we could see each other. He's better now, spends his weekends with me, and helps as I need him. We've been together for a while, and I feel like this man loves me, more than I ever did before. My best friend told me he picked her up, to take her to find an engagement ring for me because he "won't lose her (me) again". Everything is just peachy keen... kinda

 

Now the fun part. Here we are, a few months later, and it is as if I don't exist anywhere on his social media, which is odd considering before he had no problem with it. I bought us tickets to a football game he really wanted to see. As we were there, he bragged on one of his accounts about his seats, but I was not mentioned, thanked, or even in the photo, which is upsetting considering the money I spent and hassle I went through to get the tickets. I posted a picture of us, and he didn't have the care to even acknowledge it. I deleted it days ago, and he has yet to notice. Also on social media, when we were separated, he added a LOT of women. I'm not typically an insecure woman, but it rubs me wrong to see them all over his feed. One of the women still on there, was the most recent ex. I asked him to delete her, and he did right away. However, the ex from before me the first time has been readded. I asked him about it, and he made excuses, says he's going to delete her, but hasn't just yet.

 

We had a minor issue before where he was talking to women, simply because he wanted to attention. We worked through it, and everything was good. But now for this second round, I feel like I'm back at square one. Then last night, my gut kept telling me that I need to check his phone to put this to rest, but I'm scared of what I'll find, so I didn't do it.

 

He treats me very well, and I don't believe he's cheating physically simply because I know where he is all day. However, my fear is, he's still entertaining women emotionally on the side via social media and text, and I'm not comfortable with it. It would explain him not posting about me on social media. I've also wondered if his family has anything to do with it. Some of them know about us, and they aren't happy because I "broke his heart", yet they weren't the ones dealing with him back then. My family accepts it because they know he makes me happy, even if they don't agree with his behavior from before.

 

Am I crazy to want him to post about me, or worry about what's going on in his phone? I'm 30, and I know it shouldn't be a big deal. I guess I just want to feel like he's proud to be with me, or that he's showing people he's with me so I don't have to worry about women chasing him. Idk. I know it's hard to be with someone you have history with, but he's what I want. I haven't asked him about the other women on his pages, or why he doesn't post about me, because I don't want to start an arguement. I'm hoping what people say here will help me decide if I should or not.

 

Any advice, or opinions, would be appreciated. I'll answer any questions people may have

[todreaminblue]

I think its reasonable that you want to be seen as together but not for the reason that you don't want other women chasing him...temptation is always going to be around.....and you have to build that trust in him as he does for you it needs to be mutual.....and honesty i have found is the best way to set trust in a relationship up as far as exes go ...i dont think its wise to have exes on face book accounts when you are with someone else.....its not something i would do.........and on facebook i am a pretty private person i protect the friends i have and i dont share too much but photos and the fact i am in a relationship i would if they were positive photos an dtelling people i am in a relationship is not only pride or joy to be with that person but respect for the relationship and my partner in general ......that is why any future partner of mine will have full access to my phone and facebook..i have nothing to hide from a S O from public as i said i maintain privacy for personal reasons.........and i believe in transparency in relationships i have....iif a partner were to find something that made him uncomfortable i would rectify that.....

 

 

again honesty is a way to deal with this situation....be honest be gentle but let it be known how you feel and what you would really like for the relationship in regards to sharing your relationship over face book or online....if he is serious about you he will want you to be happy with the way the relationship is progressing..as anyone who is serious about a relationship would want the other person to feel secure and happy.......its the most important priority in a relationship....is to care for your S O ....even to the point of compromise and sacrifice,.....so talk to him be honest and open the channels of communication, do not snoop....promote honesty and discussions.....and work through issues together....... good luck and best wishes...deb......

Edited February 12, 2017 by todreaminblue

[Been]

Always trust your gut. If your gut is telling you something DO it. And if it turns out your gut was right LEAVE. Don't argue. Don't ask why. Just leave.