SO lied about his salary

[AMarriedMan]

Hi Ly, is your SO the same guy you were casual with in the early part of last year? If so then if you are a rational technology oriented person you do not need to be an Einstein to figure out that this guy is just not the one for you. There may be chemistry but the red flags waving around in the breeze ate enough to entice a whole herd of bulls toward your relationship. As the saying goes ' Act in haste and repent at leisure'. The first thing that leaps out at one is the number of incompatibilities that you two share. You are a serial monogamist who is frugal in her need for partners. You like to date one person at a time whether you are in a committed relationship with him or just trying out a guy for suitability. He on the other hand has already slept with 40 to 60 women and is 'greedy' to sleep with many more as per your own words. You were in an open relationship with him at a point of time where you were monogamous with him but he was not. Also he has had difficulty committing to you as per what he wrote to his friend. You are a thrifty person with middle class values whereas he is a spoilt brat whose parents have indulged him shamelessly so that he has little regard foroney. To top it all he has been lying to your face without an ounce of guilt. If you want to commit Harakiri that is your choice but I think your subconscious mind is screaming at you to drop this guy like a hot potatoe. The ball is well and truly in your court. For God's sake find a stable and sensible guy who matches your temperament and values and settle down with him. Warm wishes.

 

Matching temperament and values. Those are two key issues. Ignore at your own peril.

 

Marriage should be thought of as a business arrangement because that's one of the major things that it is. Have a fling with whomever you desire (even that in itself is somewhat doubtful of a piece of advice), but screen your marriage partner extremely carefully.

[htmshsj]

I disagree w/ most people on here. He sounds like a genuinely good guy who's a bit daft in one area (financial) and it's probably motivated by a sense of insecurity--presumably from that fact that you make more money than him and also he's not measuring up to his own family's financial baseline.

 

The downside of coming from a wealthier family is that presumably you have be much much more successful to simply maintain the lifestyle you grew up with.

 

I'd sit him down and have an honest discussion and emphasize the fact that you grew up middle class and really don't care about all the material stuff and love him no matter how much money he makes, etc. But I'd also emphasize that the debt and living beyond your means is concerning. It's definitely and issue that is concerning but I don't think I'd just throw in the towel just yet like everyone here keeps recommending.