Tigers88 Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 First a few details on our life situations. We have been married for 31 years so some will say that explains it...lol. My wife has always been extremely attractive and at the age of 52 she still is. Even though she is the Mother of 2 and grandmother of 4 I'm constantly told by others how pretty she is. Everyone that doesn't know her age thinks she is 20 years younger. I pretty much look my age and proud to have such a beauty. Through the years we have had our ups and downs but overall our sex life has been great. To the best of my knowledge we have both been faithful to our marriage. I trust her as much as someone can be trusted. 7 years ago we went through a really tough time in our marriage and I made the decision to move out and file for divorce. I lived in a local apartment for 6 months but she wouldn't sign the papers. We later began to see each other and worked things out. Since that time our marriage has been at some of its best times. When I first came back sex was better than it had ever been and we both enjoyed it more than ever. Time apart without sex seems to do that...lol. Fast forward 7 years to now and while the actual sex is still good she no longer wants to do things she once greatly enjoyed. The first thing to go was the her use of any toys. She never went far in to this area but did like to use a vibrator from time to time and I loved for her to pleasure herself as I kissed on her and told her how sexy she was. Soon after the couple of toys were thrown away I noticed she no longer made it easy for me to touch her in that area. All other areas were fine but I have only touched her there a couple of times in the past year. She just doesn't want play in that area. She was never crazy about performing oral but did love receiving it which was always fine with me. I had rather perform it on her than receive it. I just learned this week that oral is now out and no longer wanted. The only thing that happens in that area is the actual act of sexual intercourse. Can anyone shed any light on what could be going on to cause this change? How does someone go from loving it as much as anyone to not wanting anything other than sex there? I love foreplay and miss it greatly but I also want her to be happy and I want to please her sexually. I have tried to talk to her about it and she tries to act as if nothing has changed and its not true. She has used the excuse of it makes her sore and oral causes her to have infections. She might have had two in the past 18 months and who knows why. I'm still happy with our sex but could be much happier. Any advice other than talk to her is greatly appreciated. Talking to her has been done without any positive results. Thanks in advance!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 7 years ago we went through a really tough time in our marriage and I made the decision to move out and file for divorce. Why did this happen and how were the issues addressed? I have tried to talk to her about it and she tries to act as if nothing has changed and its not true. She has used the excuse of it makes her sore and oral causes her to have infections. She might have had two in the past 18 months and who knows why. Which "it" does she say causes soreness - Toys? Oral? Manual? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 Most likely - the menopause. Soreness and dryness are common. https://www.menopause.org/for-women/sexual-health-menopause-online/causes-of-sexual-problems/vaginal-discomfort YOU mention infections are those yeast infections? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
aileD Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 Menopause. Be supportive Link to post Share on other sites
Whoknew30 Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 Just bc she looks younger, doesn't mean she is. If she is starting menopause, that is going to affect her sexually, it's part of getting older. I remember all my aunts & my mom having hours of conversation about it...men can just pop a pill to make things better, women's bodies are way more complicated. Hopefully she has ups to & it won't all be just downs...good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tigers88 Posted February 15, 2017 Author Share Posted February 15, 2017 Why did this happen and how were the issues addressed? Which "it" does she say causes soreness - Toys? Oral? Manual? Mr. Lucky I made the decision to move out after her refusing to get help for mental issues. She would go to a doctor and then take meds long enough to get straightened out and then quit them. She had many problems that has went on for 16-17 years. During a majority of that time our kids were at home and I couldn't risk not getting custody. Now she is staying on her meds and overall our marriage has never been better Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tigers88 Posted February 15, 2017 Author Share Posted February 15, 2017 Most likely - the menopause. Soreness and dryness are common. https://www.menopause.org/for-women/sexual-health-menopause-online/causes-of-sexual-problems/vaginal-discomfort YOU mention infections are those yeast infections? Yes .... yeast Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 Another hand up for menopause. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 Yes .... yeast OK so if she has a yeast infection, she will pass it to you during sex, and you may or may not have symptoms, but the infection can pass back and fore between the two of you if it is left untreated. When she gives you oral she then may get oral thrush. If she is getting frequent infections, she may need further investigation by a doctor. Menopause and Yeast Infections Link to post Share on other sites
QuietDan Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 We are about the same age. My wife is also about the same age as your wife. I also noticed over the last couple of years the same changes in my wife. My wife also seems to no longer enjoy receiving oral or letting me use toys on her over the last year or two. My wife is also starting to have lubrication issues... over this last 6 to 12 months... So...add me to the ....another vote for menopause.... Link to post Share on other sites
Thomasmoore Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 There is no sacrifice as marriage .It is the most spiritual aspect of life. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 ...men can just pop a pill to make things better, women's bodies are way more complicated. At the risk of overstating the obvious, it's not quite that simple for guys. And it makes about as much sense as my saying "just buy her a bottle of lube". Should be all better, right ??? Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
QuietDan Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 Just bc she looks younger, doesn't mean she is. If she is starting menopause, that is going to affect her sexually, it's part of getting older. I remember all my aunts & my mom having hours of conversation about it...men can just pop a pill to make things better, women's bodies are way more complicated. Hopefully she has ups to & it won't all be just downs...good luck The pill doesn't always work... Like anything... overtime...becomes less and less effective... till..... it no longer works.... they do limit the strength... and the quantity... and.... well.... the pills are very expensive... even with insurance they are cost prohibitive.... When things don't work for a guy... well.... they don't work.... you can't pretend or fake it... even if you want to.... if a man is as horny and as worked up as he can be.... so sad... nothing can be done...left frustrated... pacing the floors.... Just because a man doesn't have...or can't get hard.... doesn't mean he doesn't have desire or wants sex... mad and depressed that things don't work.... no options, no alternatives.... no matter how much your partner wants PIV... you can't do anything about it... all the technique in the world won't help when things don't work... Link to post Share on other sites
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