How Can I Fix our relationship?

[lauraabi]

I've been talking to this guy since September (lets call him Alex). He had feelings for me and I had feelings for him but my friend told him I was stringing him along (I wasn't). We worked past that and actually became great friends. We spend every day together, studying and hanging out.*I was unsure what our relationship. At the beginning of December I asked him what we were because he was doing things that shouted out more than friends. He told me "I'm not ready for a relationship right now. I just want to be friends. I'm not saying no for the future but we're just friends right now." We still hung out together and talked over break. *Over the last month (January)*we've been getting closer. A lot of people on campus think we're together but as he said we're just friends. On Saturday we were in a compromising position and I went in for a kiss and he pulled away*HUGE hint that he didn't want anything. Saturday night at my birthday party a guy unexpectedly showed up (Bob) that I use to hook up with 2 years ago. Bob and I hadn't had a civil conversation in over 2 years ago and we ended things rough. Alex was leaving the party to go home (over an hour away) and had been drinking. I asked him if he was driving and he said yes. *As him and his friend were leaving I heard his friend say "she knows we're lying" (so clearly they didn't go back to his home home). Before he left he also asked me if there was a chance that I would hookup with Bob again. I said no and honestly at that point it was a no. I hadn't talked to him in over 2 years and we didn't end things well. As the night went on Bob and I had a conversation about a class we both were in together and the midterm that was coming up. He made a comment about how he didn't think I liked him and we me made amends. Later on in the night he came to me an apologized for the way he treated me in first year (2 years ago). He was very genuine about it and he wasn't drunk. One thing led to another and Bob and I ended up sleeping together that night. Alex found out, I still don't know how.*I know Bob didn't tell him. I also have a feeling Bob and Alex have a history of some sort because both didn't say very nice things about the other to me. Alex and I talked on Tuesday and he was furious with me. Told me he thinks we should only have a professional relationship now (study and class only). Told me that I should've realized that we we're progressing into something more by the way he was acting over the last month. I don't know why I would have because he acted that way before we had the talk in December. I do realize that I messed up and shouldn't have slept with Bob but it happened. Theres nothing more that I want than to salvage our friendship. If it leads to nothing because of this that's something I have to accept. I know he needs time.. What should I do to show him that I truly am sorry and value our relationship more than anything.*

[goldway90]

It's none of Alex's business that you slept with the other guy, you're single. If Alex was interested in more than just friend then he should've made a move instead of being butthurt. Remember he friendzoned you so let him deal with it.

 

He's the one who needs to grow up not you, do nothing to salvage this friendship it's up to him. Alex is your typical nice guy who thinks he's entitled to things because you two are doing homework together.

[d0nnivain]

You didn't mess up anything!

 

 

Exactly how long were you supposed to wait for Alex? You tried multiple times to get him to date you. He rejected you repeatedly. Yet, you still kept coming back for more, trailing along, accepting his bread crumbs & being happy enough. {bangs head on keyboard trying to figure out why OP would do this to herself}

 

 

Now as soon as you obtain some temporary physical comfort from another man -- comfort Alex refused to provide on multiple occasions, he's holier than thou & angry. Tell him where to get off! The arrogance is astounding.

 

 

If I were you I wouldn't even have the so called "professional" relationship with him.

 

 

When he gets his head out of his hindquarters, figures out what he lost, & comes crawling back to you with a proposal for an honest relationship then and only then should you speak to him.