To Everyone

[Ace]

I just wanted to thank all of you guys for helping me throughout my little girl problems. All of this is over now and I am very grateful. I have really appreciated what everyone has contributed even though it was not what I wanted to hear at the moment.

 

Well, me and my ex are back together for good now. She now says that she is the happiest she has ever been with me and is looking forward to getting married and spending the rest of her life with me and I feel the same.

 

The reason that she feels like this is because of the advice that alot of you have tried to give me throughout these few months, which I idiotically ignored.

 

I started to date a girl and I also told the ex that I did not want to talk to her about anything unless she was considering getting back together. I thought that it was best for the both of us and I was right and so were you guys.

 

She saw me and my date together and it broke her heart. She even called me and starting acting like we were the best friends. I told her that I did not want her to call me. At first, she started getting angry, but after awhile she started to realize that she was losing me forever.

 

Well, she wrote me a note a few days later saying that she loved me greatly and wanted to spend the rest of her life with me. It blew me away! I didn't know what to do! I went over there and she has been 200% better ever since. She is back to the same old girlfriend that I fell in love with so many years ago.

 

So there you go, I hope you guys are happy (Tony).

 

You guys were right all along to give her the cold shoulder and go date other girls. I wish that I would have done this many months ago.

 

I hope that anyone else that comes here listens to your (Tony's) and others. This is one of the greatest forums that I have found that provides the greatest advice even though I didn't realize it until everything was said and done with me.

 

Thank you!

 

Adam

[Tony T]

YOU WRITE: "So there you go, I hope you guys are happy (Tony). :)"

 

I'm on cloud nine!!! But I caution you, don't start kissing her butt or you'll be back to square one and I won't be so happy as I am now.

[I second Tony]

Adam

 

She is nuts about you, you two have a very deep love and I am sooo happy it has worked out this way HOOORRRAAAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!

 

When I think of how lucky you two are I feel like skipping around. (those three glasses of Red wine also help)

 

Now for the reality check.

 

NEVER TAKE HER FOR GRANTED ONE DAY IN YOUR LIFE EVER EVER AGAIN!!!!!!!. Believe me mister, if you lose this girl you will extremely likely never find such love ever again. I don't care what walks in your path from now on, go and splash cold water over your face before you EVER consider risking what you have. No matter how cute, sexy, funny, a temptress that may come into your life, there is no substitute for true love. All THAT other stuff is temporary.

 

I second Tony, don't kiss her butt, give her space to develop as a woman who has her own interests, and develop your own, get OUT and do your own thing. The greatest love is between two individuals who are individuals.

 

Don't screw this up, I know you are full of testosterone, but think about it always.

 

OLiver

[By the way that was Oliver posting LOL]

I wish you well mate

[Miss Mojo]

hi ace,

 

it's good to hear that things have fallen into place the way you wanted them to.

 

BUT - don't forget to be a challenge to her!!!! the fact that she saw you with another girl gave her one hell of a jolt...she now knows that she truly does want to be with you. but i can guarantee you, if you don't want this girls interest in you and the relationship to wain, you have to not be so accessible.

 

i think it's about time she did a bit of butt kissing here.

 

and before i go, one more VITAL point - you must take time out every so often to just do things with the boys. no girlfriend, just you and the guys...let her miss you occassionally, let her pine for you, let her expect the unexpected and you can be sure that the spark will be kept alive in this relationship.....keep in mind everyones advice to you. experience speaks volumes (and actions even more).

 

honestly, the best relationships are the ones where you have your own life outside of them. you always have something to talk about, you want to try harder, you're not smothered, and usually, your boredom threshold is quite high.

 

good luck, ace

[Ace]

I realize that I am not going to be doing any butt kissing. In fact, she is doing her fair amount of butt kissing now. It is nice. I think I have learned alot from all of this and I think that she has too.

 

We both get along great now and we don't kiss each others ass too bad. I am just really glad that everything turned out this way.

 

Adam

[sparkle]

Dear Ace,

 

I'm happy to hear the good news.

 

Just be careful. I don't want to see a post from you a month from now saying you two broke up over the same past issues.

 

Did you notice how she she changed when you pushed her away and went out with another girl? Did you see how she changed when you weren't so nice to her?

 

Just because you two are back together now doesn't mean that you should become a nice guy once again. Everyone offered some great advice. I suggest that you re-read it and follow it.

 

Remain a challenge to her. Be nice to her but not overly nice. Don't kiss her butt. Remember, she's lucky to be with you! When you feel like she's taking this for granted, back away.

 

Remember, she's she's your girlfriend, not your "other half". Treat her as a separate person. Act like a separate individual yourself. That means that, while you two may share many interests, remember that you two have your own different hobbies and activities. Give yourself and her plenty of free time without the other.

 

Don't forget about your other friends. Make time to hang out with the guys or with your family--without bringing her along.

 

Don't forget all the good stuff in the relationship either. Remember to communicate with her and share your thoughts and feelings. Girls love guys who can do this. Remember not to get upset about little things that aren't worth arguing over. Don't be jealous when there's no reason to be. Girls like guys that are secure and confident.

 

One final piece of advice: Make sure your actions show her that you're with her because you WANT to be, not because you NEED her. Girls do not like needy guys that cling to them.

 

Good luck!