CRISS23 Posted July 23, 2005 Share Posted July 23, 2005 HI, me and my ex seperated about a week ago after six years together. i was to blame because i allowed the stress i was going through effect us to where i was a times distant and she feeling unappericated. she says she still loves me deeply, but a seperation would be best for now because we need to focus on ourselves and our child than us as a couple. and she says if it is meant to be than we will be together. i want her back badly, but know she needs some space. she was my first love and i was her 1st love and 1st sexual partner and she is coping better than me. i know time waits for no man, but how can i convice her to give me another shot? and how to have a no contact rule with her when i come see my child? and is there possiblities on where people reconcile when you have a child together? because that is a strong bond. PLEASE HELP ME OUT!!! Link to post Share on other sites
agnf666 Posted July 23, 2005 Share Posted July 23, 2005 There is no way to have the "No Contact Rule" when you have child together. You need to be apart of that childs life so don't do "No Contact". As for getting back together I would take this slowly. Maybe she does need some space for a while. Why don't you and your child spend some quality time together for a few days so she can straighten things out. Let her know that you love her and what the two of you have is very special. Make sure she know's you will be there for your child no matter what. Apologize to her for how you where treating her and that you never meant for that to happen. Those things mean alot. When was the last time you talked to her? Link to post Share on other sites
Author CRISS23 Posted July 24, 2005 Author Share Posted July 24, 2005 The last time we talked was today when I called to talk with my child. It was brief, but it was on a positive vibe. Sometimes she acts like she is trying to keep her distant which I TOTALLY understand. But I don't want it to get to the point where all hope is lost. I can't help but think about her everyday and I don't want to crowd her space, but I don't know how to minimize the contact enough so she would miss me and think about me to the point on trying again. It seems since I was her 1st she just wants to explore, I just hope it doesn't get to serious because I want to be a family and possible marriage if possible. Do I sound like a fool for wanting that, because my friends think I should just start screwing every female while I 'm single, but that is not apart of my character, I just want her. Link to post Share on other sites
agnf666 Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 I would wait this one out for a little while.Work yourself slowly back into her life. I think she will get over the thought of you being her first and will come to realize that she just wants you. Sometimes that will happen right away or it will be after the first guy she is with. Don't go and do something stupid. Keep your self single for right now. Try to find out if she has been going out on dates and stuff. Keep in constant contact with your child. you need to talk to her before she get's herself another guy!I think she just needs a little space to think things over. I would go over and visit your child and then while she's there tell her you want to talk to her. I would talk to her and tell her that you want to get married and settle down. Make sure you tell her that she is the only woman for you. Apologize for being distant before. Let her know how much she means to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CRISS23 Posted July 25, 2005 Author Share Posted July 25, 2005 I WENT OVER TO HER PLACE TO SEE MY CHILD TODAY. THE MOOD WAS GOOD AND EVERYTHING WE TALKED AND I REMEMBERED THAT SHE SAYS SHE HAD WENT OUT YESTERDAY AND MY CHILD WAS OVER HER SISTER HOUSE. I THOUGHT SHE WAS GOING OUT WITH THE GIRLS BUT I HAVE THE FEELING IT WAS A GUY, I'M CERTAIN. SHE DIDN'T SAY BUT YOU JUST GET THAT FEELING YOU KNOW. IT DOESN'T FEEL GOOD AT ALL AND WHEN I WAS THERE TODAY, SHE LEFT AND WENT TO THE STORE AND TOLD ME IF HER PHONE RINGS, DON'T ANSWER IT. SHE NEVER TOLD ME THAT EVER, SO IT HAS TO BE A GUY. I DON'T KNOW IF IT IS SERIOUS BECAUSE WE JUST SPLIT A WEEK AND HALF AGO AND THAT WOULD NOT MAKE ANY SENSE. I JUST HOPE IT IS HANGING OUT NOTHING SERIOUS, NOTHTING PHYSICAL. I KNOW I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER THAT AND MOST PEOPLE WOULD SAY THAT'S NOT MY WORRY ON WHO SHE IS WITH NOW. BUT HOW CAN I NOT WORRY ABOUT IT -BECAUSE IF SEX BECOMES A REALITY WITH THIS CAT, I WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO BE WITH HER IF I GET THE CHANCE BECAUSE SOMEONE ELSE HAS TOUCH HER IN PLACES I HAVE AND SHE WILL GET EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED IF THAT'S THE CASE. I KNOW SPACE IS NEEDED, BUT I DON'T WANT THAT SPACE TO CAUSE HER TO BE WITH ANOTHER GUY. I HOPE SHE THINKS ABOUT ME THE WAY I THINK ABOUT HER ON A DALIY BASES. I DON'T WANNA GIVE UP, SO WHAT WOULD YOU GUYS DO, WAIT IT OUT OR GIVE IT A FEW MONTHS AND THEN TALK TO HER? I DONT' WANT TO GET NOSEY, BUT I'M VERY CURIOUS. Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted July 25, 2005 Share Posted July 25, 2005 If you have a child with her I don't think it's possible for you to have NC. If already I disagree with NC even more with this situation!!!! You have to handle it some other way because if you have a child there is no running from the situation that you two have. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CRISS23 Posted July 25, 2005 Author Share Posted July 25, 2005 I 'M THINKING ABOUT ASKING HER DOES SHE MISS ME. I KNOW THAT IT'S ONLY BEEN ABOUT 2 WEEKS, BUT WE HAD EACH OTHER FOR 6 YEARS, SHE SHOULD AT LEAST MISS ME A LITTLE BIT THOUGH IT WAS HER DECISION TO SPLIT. I TALK TO HER ABOUT WORK AND OF COURSE MY CHILD BUT FIND MY SELF WANTING TO TALK ABOUT US. AND I DON'T WANNA ACTED DISTANT BECAUSE LOOK WHERE THAT GOT ME. I WANNA FIND A BALANCE WITH MY EMOTIONS SO IT WOULDN'T INTERFERE WITH HER SPACE. SHE CAN'T LOOK AT SOMETIMES I GUESS SHE SEES THAT I WANT HER SO BAD. I JUST WANT SOME TYPE OF INSIGHT ON HER FEELINGS. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CRISS23 Posted July 25, 2005 Author Share Posted July 25, 2005 I 'M THINKING ABOUT ASKING HER DOES SHE MISS ME. I KNOW THAT IT'S ONLY BEEN ABOUT 2 WEEKS, BUT WE HAD EACH OTHER FOR 6 YEARS, SHE SHOULD AT LEAST MISS ME A LITTLE BIT THOUGH IT WAS HER DECISION TO SPLIT. I TALK TO HER ABOUT WORK AND OF COURSE MY CHILD BUT FIND MY SELF WANTING TO TALK ABOUT US. AND I DON'T WANNA ACT DISTANT BECAUSE LOOK WHERE THAT GOT ME. I WANNA FIND A BALANCE WITH MY EMOTIONS SO IT WOULDN'T INTERFERE WITH HER SPACE. SHE CAN'T LOOK AT SOMETIMES I GUESS SHE SEES THAT I WANT HER SO BAD. I JUST WANT SOME TYPE OF INSIGHT ON HER FEELINGS. Link to post Share on other sites
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