Coldfire Posted February 19, 2017 Share Posted February 19, 2017 I have been seeing this guy on and off for over a year for sex. I've known him for about 3 years and we always got along great. During the FWB period he always blurred the boundaries (didn't want to date but still wanted friendship and support etc). I was in the middle if a divorce and wasn't ready to date so I was ok for a while. I am not really able to have FWB long term so after all the time we spent together (somethimes just hanging out not even sex...I know, very stupid I developed feelings. I told him and he said he couldn't reciprocate so I stopped seeing him. Recently he has started texting me again. I said I am not interesred. Then he proposed to be "friends" again. I liked his frienship (before the FWB situation) but not sure it can work. I will always feel like he chose another woman/other women over me. If he really cared about me, he wouldn't just let me go. In all fairness he wanted to stay friends but I wasn't able due to my feelings. I still like him....Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 19, 2017 Share Posted February 19, 2017 No you can't be friends. It just doesn't work and you still have feelings for him so what's the point of having him in your life? Even more so since he chose another woman over you. Cry and grieve the loss..You can find a (single) fantastic guy who will love only you when the timing is right. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
deadsoul Posted February 20, 2017 Share Posted February 20, 2017 personally I don't see how you can be since you developed feelings. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Steez Posted February 20, 2017 Share Posted February 20, 2017 f he really cared about me, he wouldn't just let me go. In all fairness he wanted to stay friends but I wasn't able due to my feelings. I still like him....Thoughts? Why not go a little deeper, if he respected you as a friend wouldn't he leave you alone? You already know he was having sex with you and having sex with other women, first off STD's, yuck. Second who had the most to benefit from the relationship? He wanted you as a friend but was willing to have sex with you but now he's insistent on having his friend back? You ever went that hard on an ex friend just to get them back? He knows you liked him thus wants to hang out in hope of having sex again. You do not want this guy in your life because he will never commit and if you have sex again that will be it. Curious you mention this guy happened during your divorce. Why not be single for a while, be comfortable on your own or if you need companionship that bad date a man that wants to date you not just to bang you and leave. Surely you're worth more than that? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 20, 2017 Share Posted February 20, 2017 It's very difficult to go back to being just friends with somebody you have seen naked. It is possible but very difficult & the friendship will never be the same. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Scarlet2 Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 Is he single? Did he only offer to be "friends" as a compromise because of you saying you aren't interested? Tell him what you would want and expect. If he doesn't want the same, then you go back to not seeing him and not being his friend. Never settle for less than what you want, otherwise he'll keep getting what he wants and you'll continue to want what he won't give. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Coldfire Posted February 24, 2017 Author Share Posted February 24, 2017 @Scarlet2 The truth is that I don't want a relationship with him. He is one of those people who are great as casual friends but definitely not relationship material...he has substance abuse issues, can't hold a job and is very immature. I guess I liked the idea of being with a bad boy, exciting and good in bed but I know anything else would be a disaster. He asked me what I wanted so that he can try and provide it. The truth is I just wish I could have the friendship back but I'm afraid it's impossible now. Is he single? Did he only offer to be "friends" as a compromise because of you saying you aren't interested? Tell him what you would want and expect. If he doesn't want the same, then you go back to not seeing him and not being his friend. Never settle for less than what you want, otherwise he'll keep getting what he wants and you'll continue to want what he won't give. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Coldfire Posted February 24, 2017 Author Share Posted February 24, 2017 You are right. I need to be on my own and sort things out. This is not a guy I would choose if I was single, stable and lookibg for love. I guess I can't have back the friendship after I made the choice yo be with him sexually and didn't even insist on trying to date. Why not go a little deeper, if he respected you as a friend wouldn't he leave you alone? You already know he was having sex with you and having sex with other women, first off STD's, yuck. Second who had the most to benefit from the relationship? He wanted you as a friend but was willing to have sex with you but now he's insistent on having his friend back? You ever went that hard on an ex friend just to get them back? He knows you liked him thus wants to hang out in hope of having sex again. You do not want this guy in your life because he will never commit and if you have sex again that will be it. Curious you mention this guy happened during your divorce. Why not be single for a while, be comfortable on your own or if you need companionship that bad date a man that wants to date you not just to bang you and leave. Surely you're worth more than that? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 Are you still married or are you divorced? Just wondering because you've posted this in the OW/OM section. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Coldfire Posted February 24, 2017 Author Share Posted February 24, 2017 Are you still married or are you divorced? Just wondering because you've posted this in the OW/OM section. Divorced as of last month. I posted here because I found I was the OW and this guy was actually dating someone so now he broke up with her and wants to be my friend or whatever. Link to post Share on other sites
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