Tressugar Posted February 20, 2017 Share Posted February 20, 2017 (edited) Now that I'm back in the dating scene again, I'm conflicted between enjoying my life and being a single mom. My daughter is insanely jealous of me going out. It seems like every time I go out she needs me to stay behind. If I'm out she'll call and/or text me incessantly. I told her that I love her and she's wanted by me, but she doesn't believe me because at times I chose to not answer my calls/texts when I'm out on a date. I don't know if I should give up dating to be by her side because it's obvious that I cannot balance the two. Has any single dating parent been successful in balancing the two acts? She's in her early 20's. Edited February 20, 2017 by Tressugar Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted February 20, 2017 Share Posted February 20, 2017 I think you need to draw the line with your daughter. You are not a "single parent", your daughter is an adult now. Tell her firmly that it's time for you to have your own life and do not let her guilt you into giving up dating. If she sees consistency on your part, she's going to stop. But if you keep giving in, she's going to continue that behavior. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lilyana76 Posted February 20, 2017 Share Posted February 20, 2017 my kids are 14, 12 and 4. I have a hard time finding a man who wants to be with someone that has kids. Your daughter is grown, she needs to snip the umbilical cord and fly free, let mommy have a life for goodness sake! My kids it would be a little understandable if they were calling and texting all the time when I'm out, I mean, they are LITTLE. And my kids NEVER call or text, unless there is an emergency, they know better. Your daughter is grown, she needs to stop. Time to set some boundaries mommy! When you are out, its YOUR time, not her time. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted February 20, 2017 Share Posted February 20, 2017 At 20? Nah. It's understandable if a child is a teen but again , if you and them have a good relationship then they know that mommy also needs someone. Then again , you need to date a guy who is a single dad and is in similar phase of life. That works best. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
noelle303 Posted February 20, 2017 Share Posted February 20, 2017 I was ready to advise you to put a red light on dating for now, until I read that she's in her early 20's. I feel like at that point not only should she have a life of her own, but also rationally understand that you need a life as well. I think it's important to get to the route of why she is jelaous. Does she have friends? A boyfriend? Work or school? Do you guys spend enough quality time together? I am a single mom to a six year old and I haven't had these problems. I simply make sure that I keep my dating life away from my daughter, I'm always available to her and it doesn't cut too much into my time with her (my boyfriend and I usually meet up when she's in school/extra-curricular activity/friend's house and we stay over every other weekend when she's at her dad's). She's not affected by my love life at all. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
T-16bullseyeWompRat Posted February 20, 2017 Share Posted February 20, 2017 I would be more concerned that I raised a daughter to be so dependant on her mother at 20 personally. What kind of sheltered life did she live? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 20, 2017 Share Posted February 20, 2017 Doesn't she have her own bf by now to hang out with? Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted February 20, 2017 Share Posted February 20, 2017 Single, sole custody of two kiddos under the age of 11. When I date (taking a break as I am about to relocate), I get supportive childcare and make certain my kids are wholly cared for and well. My children are young and my WHOLE WORLD right now, but I need adult, daddy time every once in a while (rare). I love being a father, but one needs some time to oneself or with another adult. I don't believe parents should abandon the idea of kindling romance just b/c they have children and certainly not one that is 20-yrs old! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 My daughter is insanely jealous of me going out. It seems like every time I go out she needs me to stay behind. If I'm out she'll call and/or text me incessantly. I told her that I love her and she's wanted by me, but she doesn't believe me because at times I chose to not answer my calls/texts when I'm out on a date. I don't know if I should give up dating to be by her side because it's obvious that I cannot balance the two. Has any single dating parent been successful in balancing the two acts? She's in her early 20's. Tressugar, I can't tell by your tone, but you do understand this is neither normal nor healthy, right ??? Does your daughter have a disability or special needs? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
AmIRight Posted February 23, 2017 Share Posted February 23, 2017 Now that I'm back in the dating scene again, I'm conflicted between enjoying my life and being a single mom. My daughter is insanely jealous of me going out. It seems like every time I go out she needs me to stay behind. If I'm out she'll call and/or text me incessantly. I told her that I love her and she's wanted by me, but she doesn't believe me because at times I chose to not answer my calls/texts when I'm out on a date. I don't know if I should give up dating to be by her side because it's obvious that I cannot balance the two. Has any single dating parent been successful in balancing the two acts? She's in her early 20's. Is she not dating herself? Link to post Share on other sites
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