Khiatt9 Posted February 20, 2017 Share Posted February 20, 2017 I need some advice on what is the best way to Co-Parent with someone you wish you never had to talk to. I cant ever win with this guy, he tells me on several occasions, just do what you are going to do when you try to talk to him about things concerning your child. Then you make a decision about where your child is going to get her education. You do your research and come to a decision on the best school district out of the options you have, tell him about it and he flips his lid. I want my daughter to go to the best school, and this school will be in the community in which she lives. He wants my daughter to go to one of the schools I researched that his son goes to. I really feel its more of a convenience thing for him. I told him, you told me to do what I had to do and I don't know how I could have interpreted what you said any other way. I told him that Im willing to hear why he feels its a better school district for her. He never replied back to me about it. What am I supposed to do? I never had to co-parent, as shes my only child. I don't want to talk to him at all and I feel like the ball is in his court on the subject. Advice welcome, I just want to be a good parent for my daughter and keep things civil Link to post Share on other sites
noelle303 Posted February 20, 2017 Share Posted February 20, 2017 I need some advice on what is the best way to Co-Parent with someone you wish you never had to talk to. I cant ever win with this guy, he tells me on several occasions, just do what you are going to do when you try to talk to him about things concerning your child. Then you make a decision about where your child is going to get her education. You do your research and come to a decision on the best school district out of the options you have, tell him about it and he flips his lid. I want my daughter to go to the best school, and this school will be in the community in which she lives. He wants my daughter to go to one of the schools I researched that his son goes to. I really feel its more of a convenience thing for him. I told him, you told me to do what I had to do and I don't know how I could have interpreted what you said any other way. I told him that Im willing to hear why he feels its a better school district for her. He never replied back to me about it. What am I supposed to do? I never had to co-parent, as shes my only child. I don't want to talk to him at all and I feel like the ball is in his court on the subject. Advice welcome, I just want to be a good parent for my daughter and keep things civil How have you guys set up legal/physical custody? If you have primary physical custody and your daughter lives with you for the most part then you pick the school - after all, you're the one taking her there every day. It's simple as that and he'll calm down eventually. I'm a single parent and I was also on my own with my daughter for the first 5 years of her life - then her father came in the picture. It's definitely an adjustment, but we settled everything legally and since I am the primary custodial parent I make the major decisions. I run everything by him to be civil and I compromise when I can, but ultimately I do what I feel is best for her. I think it's good that you're willing to communicate and consider his opinions, you're already co-parenting just by doing that. If he is not answering, that's his problem, you can only give him a chance. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Khiatt9 Posted February 21, 2017 Author Share Posted February 21, 2017 I haven't taken him to court for anything. She lives with me most of the time, he has her every other weekend and an overnight during the week. I let him pick the nights during the week because he travels for work and his schedule isn't ever the same from one week to the next. Sometimes he can't see her during the week. I just really want to be fair but it's getting hard to even talk to him about anything Link to post Share on other sites
noelle303 Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 I haven't taken him to court for anything. She lives with me most of the time, he has her every other weekend and an overnight during the week. I let him pick the nights during the week because he travels for work and his schedule isn't ever the same from one week to the next. Sometimes he can't see her during the week. I just really want to be fair but it's getting hard to even talk to him about anything I suggest you make things legal - you don't have to go to court, you can work things out in mediation and simply put it on paper and get it signed by a judge. I personally believe it would make things simpler in terms of big decisions such as this, the parent who has primary custody gets to decide on the school due to the fact that the child lives with them. Link to post Share on other sites
Pastypop Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 Since he won't reply back, just register her for the school you picked and don't worry about it. When a man refuses to communicate with me, I take that as permission to do as I please. If they are not mature enough to communicate than that's not your problem. Let him figure out his own logistics for getting her to and from school. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted March 7, 2017 Share Posted March 7, 2017 (edited) l get a big part of where your coming from but remember it's about your daughter and her having her father in her life as freely and much as possible too. We just come and go when we want there are no rules or legal garbage. What place does that bs have in a childs life no damn courts telling my daughter when she can see her own parent. We keep it as natural and easy going for her as possible. And that really does make a huge huge difference to her and me bc she can come and go as she pleases and so can l, and that's about as close to a normal family up bringing as we can get it so far. Personally ex and l are dead against legals. Her mum is good and wants the same as me and for our daughter to have as much time as she needs or feels like and for that to be as natural as possible in this mess , for us all but especially for her. You guys have sloght communication problems on his part. yeah , l'm really not sure. Personally l'd avoid court at all cost though if you can it has no place in your daughter and her fathers life. And admittedly l would really rather not talk or see ex anymore either but she has been good in all this though and we work at keeping it that way. it is hard though, no easy way in this ugly bs. For yours, l dunno. Maybe you could keep persisting for awhile , it will probably go up and down in waves and he may well come good yet. We have. l mean you have an on part already really good set up for her bc it's not too rigid and can chop and change with his work times and that means her world too and with ours that's been a God sent especially for her and has helped her sooooo much to just be relaxed and happy in all this. And so has knowing mum and dad are still ok and there's not some fool court telling her when she can come and go with her own parents. l mean how the hell is a kid suppose to understand that , really. lt is a great start for you guys and still a damn site better than how many bitter fools are doing and putting their poor kids through hell while they're at it. The school thing , l dunno . it is only one thing and as a dad it does really piss you off at times if the mother has more custody and makes decisions like that even if he did say do what you think is best. l'm sorta thinking he just had a later sh@tty brain fart on that one or maybe got to thinking about the son but it should blow over. Personally , l think keep persisting for awhile, for your daughter. Maybe don't try too hard with him , let him come to you a bit too, but yeah. For now give it some more time l think. We had a few things like this, it's all a work in progress. l think by the time we have it right my d will be 18 anyway haha. Edited March 7, 2017 by Chilli Link to post Share on other sites
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