Shini Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 (edited) So its a bit embarrassing to admit that I have put on weight and one of the main reasons is because I am currently on Depo needle which is birth control, We talked about all the symptoms and pretty much let him know what im going through and keep him in the loop and because I get symptoms which makes me feel uncomfortable, have pains and feeling tired most of the time I haven't been going to the gym and my bf gets annoyed that I don't go but I told him that I don't feel well and im going through certain things but no matter what im telling him it doesn't seem to register at all... He always mentions that my cheeks are getting more chubby and I told him that there is not much I can do if I don't feel well enough to go to the gym and I thought he understood that but he keeps going on about it and it makes me feel more insecure about my body...he did mention to me at one stage that he preferred me skinny and doesn't like me being big...and when I tell him that I want to stop the depo cause its making me feel yucky and make me put on weight I told him that I should stop taking it but he wants me to stay on it because he doesn't like condoms, so im like why would you want me to stay on Depo when you don't like me putting on weight... gah its just so stupid :/ even though I don't like the symptoms and the weight gain I also don't want to get pregnant anytime soon...so what else can I do to make him understand??? Edited February 21, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator paragraphs ~6 Link to post Share on other sites
Raena Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 Maybe try a different birth control method? That's the first thought that popped into my head. I had some serious side effects just recently from taking that shot. I'll never do it again. Ask your doctor what else you could try that wouldn't have the same side effects. By the way, your boyfriend sounds like an insensitive, selfish jerk.. Just my opinion. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Tribble Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 What do you do? Get a new boyfriend. Your entire post is about what he wants. He wants you on the shot. He wants you to go to the gym. He wants you to be skinny. What do you want? What you're going through sounds dreadful. I've had my fair share of upsets from birth control and it can be horrendous. To go through that with someone who isn't supportive and worse, nagging you about it, must be horrible. How is your bf going to be if real struggles come along? Health problems? Pregnancy? There are ways to handle these situations and this isn't it. You deserve more. You've had the conversations, done the explanations. Now it's time to let it go. For contraception, go and see your Doctor. There are so many different options and the shot clearly isn't working for you. Nothing unusual there, it doesn't work for many women. Have a chat about your other options and do your own research too. You definitely want to be on some form of contraception because, like you say, you don't want to get pregnant but you should be able to find something that lets you function normally. Changing contraception method will not fix your relationship though. He's showing you just how supportive he can be. You don't want that. Next him. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shini Posted February 21, 2017 Author Share Posted February 21, 2017 okay i will see my doctor and see if there is anything else better thanks... yeah I think I will talk to him this weekend and see how things go :/ I am just considering how his past experiences have been with girls and I think this is the only relationship that he has had that involves deep conversations and involvements with the womans body I know it sounds ridiculous but not all guys know what girls are going through and i think he is trying to rap his head around it all that's why i am just being patient and trying to work with him on this whole thing...bt your right he does sound really inconsiderate but i think the long distance is starting take effect on him a bit...is this thought a way to consider to work things out with him more??? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 What do you do? Get a new boyfriend. Yeah.. I was thinking the same thing.... He won't use condoms and makes you use the BC but then complains about your looks after you gain some weight from the BC... Just a window in how he will treat you in the future.. fer gawd sakes don't stop using BC and get tied to this guy for 18 years. Any guy who is dating you and complains about your weight isn't worthy of your presence.. dump him 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 If weight gain is a side effect of Depo he needs to shut up about your size. It's not like you are gaining due to slothfulness. If he genuinely loved you he would not mention that your cheeks are getting puffy or that you should go to the gym. Your size wouldn't matter. Before you twist yourself into a pretzel, make sure he's worth it. From where I sit, he seems superficial, judgmental & mean spirited Link to post Share on other sites
jiffysound Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 Ok, let's start with the obvious, you two aren't a good match..period. He is very insensitive about your weight gain. One day it may be weight gain, another it may be having pets, moving in, etc etc, he will always find something to complain about..it's just his personality, can't change that. Second, you DO need to change your method of BC, obviously medroxyprogesterone acetate is causing weight gain, which can contribute to high blood pressure, cardiac dysfunction, bone loss, blood clots..the list goes on. Have you tried a IUD device instead of using medroxyprogesterone acetate? There are many different ways to use contraception; you seemed to have jumped in head-first with the heavy-duty BC. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shini Posted February 21, 2017 Author Share Posted February 21, 2017 mmm there is a lot to think about at the moment, but I thank you all on your thoughts and I will get to the bottom of this hopefully soon!!! Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 There's not much to sort. He's criticizing you unfairly for your weight, especially over a gain caused by BC. Would he be open to you stopping the Depo & you using condoms again? In your other thread he's also pressuring you to talk dirty -- a sex act you find uncomfortable. That kind of pressure shows that he doesn't care about you, only what he wants. Proceed with him at your own risk. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shini Posted February 21, 2017 Author Share Posted February 21, 2017 We have discussed that i should try the BC one more time and if it doesn't change then we have both agreed that it would be my last injection if that's the case...i have noticed a bit when I'm on the BC I'm fine but in the last two weeks before my next due date for Depo it takes more of an effect on my body i guess cause its wearing off and have to go back again to get the injection...But this is the 4th time i have been given the BC and i feel it a bit more... mmm i know, the only thoughts i have in my head is what to say to him before i end it that's all Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 There are so many different BC methods that I'm surprised you haven't already talked to your doctor about another choice especially if this one makes you sick and tired all the time. Yes get off that shot right away and dump your bf. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 What do you do? Get a new boyfriend. I agree 100%. My rule is NO SEX with someone who would make you feel horrible for getting pregnant. Always remember: no birth control will ever work completely. There's always a random, tiny, insignificant chance to get pregnant. It equals to almost zero when you combine 2 or more contraception methods. This guy nags if you put on 2 lbs, complaining about your puffy cheeks. I can't imagine if your belly started swelling. Have some dignity and drop such a loser. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 First, punctuation is helpful when posting. Use it! Second, look for another method of birth control. But most importantly, NO SEX with any man who would make you feel badly about gaining some weight or getting pregnant. Seriously. Link to post Share on other sites
Chris516 Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 Maybe try a different birth control method? That's the first thought that popped into my head. I had some serious side effects just recently from taking that shot. I'll never do it again. Ask your doctor what else you could try that wouldn't have the same side effects. By the way, your boyfriend sounds like an insensitive, selfish jerk.. Just my opinion. Shini, She said the same thing I was already thinking. Link to post Share on other sites
AlmostFamous Posted February 22, 2017 Share Posted February 22, 2017 Two things comes to mind that you can do to remedy the problem. One is lose weight with out going to the gym by changing your eating habits and the second,if one doesn't apply to you is get a new BF. Other than that I don't see any other things you can do. I wish you luck whichever way you chose to go. Link to post Share on other sites
MajesticUnicorn Posted February 22, 2017 Share Posted February 22, 2017 So is your boyfriend some gym rat that looks like Ryan Gosling or something? Goodness. He sounds like a real insensitive jerk, and I have to echo what the others say: get a new boyfriend. Sure, today it may just be that your gaining weight, but what will the next day bring? Even if you switch BC and lose the weight? If it's not one thing, it's another with these kind of people. Long distance relationships are hard enough as it is. Long distance relationships with someone as critical, insensitive, and immature as him are a whole 'nother monster. I know that's probably not what you want to hear, but it's true. Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted February 22, 2017 Share Posted February 22, 2017 My only advice is GET OFF DEPO NOW! This drug should not have been approved. It will destroy your body and some people their mental state. It should be taken off the market as BC. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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