misty15 Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 So I joined Tinder around 3 weeks ago thought I would give it a go. I would say I'm an attractive female. Dont have anything weird on my profile. I dont swipe yes to every profile only the ones I like and am attracted to. So far i have 80 matches and none of them talk. I have started the convo with alot of guys but it doesnt go anywhere, have not been asked out only by one guy who wanted to meet that night I matched with him, I assume just for a hook up which I declined. I'm not looking to hook up straight away, wanting to get to know someone first. What gives? Are all these guys just swiping right on every profile and then filtering me out because they are not interested in me? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jj66 Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 (edited) Same reason that it's easier to buy a gym membership than actually go to the gym? Going to posit a guess here... Do you have a conversation hook in your profile or pics? For a lot of guys, a Tinder conversation can seem like an audition. It's kind of scary to get started. They probably didn't read whatever you have in your profile, if anything, when they were swiping. If all they have is a picture they don't know what to say. It's easier just to keep swiping and getting another addicting rush from getting "it's a match" instead of the scary work of actually starting a conversation with their new match. Edited February 21, 2017 by Jj66 Link to post Share on other sites
Author misty15 Posted February 21, 2017 Author Share Posted February 21, 2017 On my profile i just have the usual line of "wanting to meet new people" and have listed my hobbies, nothing new. I have chosen an age range i think is appropriate for me (a few years younger to 8 years older) Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 A guy said here just the other day, all girls do on Tinder is wanna hook up to screw. Even that night , then and there. So you might be on the wrong site if your after something normal , like to actually talk and get to know each other . 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Larryville Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 I have always found it odd that some people chose to use Tinder knowing the reputation of the app and yet get surprised at the results they receive. I read this article the other day which helped put it in perspective. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/love-digitally/201610/the-surprising-truth-about-why-people-use-tinder Validation and Self-Worth It is likely that receiving the notification of a match on Tinder indicating that someone "likes" you, or finds you attractive, would enhance feelings of validation or self-worth. Indeed, participants in this study indicated that they used Tinder to receive positive feedback on their appearance and improve their self-esteem. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 A guy said here just the other day, all girls do on Tinder is wanna hook up to screw. Even that night , then and there. So you might be on the wrong site if your after something normal , like to actually talk and get to know each other . I would say 99% of the profiles I read specifically state they are looking for a relationship. It could be the age range or location but overall it is not a hookup site for me. I would try Bumble though. It's a higher class of Tinder. Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 On my profile i just have the usual line of "wanting to meet new people" and have listed my hobbies, nothing new. I have chosen an age range i think is appropriate for me (a few years younger to 8 years older) I typically bypass the looking to meet new people. To me this sounds like you want friends. If I'm on a dating site I'm looking for a relationship, not friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Erik30 Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 Are all these guys just swiping right on every profile and then filtering me out because they are not interested in me? Yes, a lot of guys do that. That's basically what ruined Tinder, and why you now have a limited amount of likes. It's possible to find someone serious on Tinder, but you have to be lucky and very patient, so it might not be the right dating app for you Link to post Share on other sites
purrrfectlyflawed Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 Tinder is full of flakes and guys looking for hookups. 80-90% of the guys on there just want to get laid. That site is a little worse than the others when it comes to flakes. You have not heard from the guys because they are flakey or working on another chick they can score with. Tinder is fun and has a lot of guys on it but it's a little too young and casual for me Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 That more app than a site. Tinder isn't the best place to find what your looking for. I used it myself and found it just to be a waste of time. Going to the gym to find people isn't the best choice to do because those who are at the gym are focus on building, toning and loosing weight. There is not time on their schedule to stop all that and began a dating pool. Everyone uses the online dating web sites because it's easier to find people. Plus you have to know how to do it also. Learn and apply and receive messages. Link to post Share on other sites
Lilyana76 Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 I have never used Tinder, I would suggest a different site. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 There as many men on there are looking for ego boosts as women. Especially if you're matching with similarly attractive men. Many are just using it to kill time as they date women they meet irl. Many are already seeing someone or even married! It's an app, designed for ease, not for thoughtfulness. Oftentimes guys are ninja swiping to see how many matches they rack up. Two of my male friends had a competition to see who could get more matches. Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 There as many men on there are looking for ego boosts as women. Especially if you're matching with similarly attractive men. Many are just using it to kill time as they date women they meet irl. Many are already seeing someone or even married! It's an app, designed for ease, not for thoughtfulness. Oftentimes guys are ninja swiping to see how many matches they rack up. Two of my male friends had a competition to see who could get more matches. Yo Cutie is another one too. Meetme also.. Yes that's another issue woman who are still married and saying they're single still. I caught one doing that. Took a couple of months to convince her she was still married. She has been married for 30 years and telling me she wasn't. The husband still sees other women and has fathered 9 kids so far. He visits her and stays with her. Today it seems everything is alright for some but not us with moral and family values. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 I'm sure it's become more mainstream, but when Tinder started, it was strictly for hookups. If you don't want hookups, then choose another app. Link to post Share on other sites
rushed Posted February 22, 2017 Share Posted February 22, 2017 Stick with it. I remember when I first joined Tinder, I got a ton of matches but not one sent me a message the first few days, except for one guy who wanted an FWB. The messages eventually started pouring in, and you have to just filter through them. I'd say out of all my matches, maybe only 33% of them sent me a message. You do have to do your part, though, and be charming and engaging as well on your end of the convo. I was on Tinder for about two months. In those two months, I probably had about 300 matches. About 100 sent me messages. I went out with four of them. There was no spark with two of them. One of them I didn't want to see anymore after two dates. And the last one is now my boyfriend. Tinder is exhausting. But it can lead to something nice. Link to post Share on other sites
ashy555 Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 Tinder user here... Tinder has a bad rep yes. If you are smart you can usually sense who's after what. If you don't know, ask! I went out with quite a few nice guys who were looking for a relationship. Last weekend I had an attractive guy ask ME what I was looking for. When I replied and asked what he was looking for, he said a serious relationship. i was blown away. I usually have to do the asking haha. I have been on tinder for 4 - 5 months now. I have about 200 matches. Most conversations usually fade out at some point. I've met up with about 9 people. Have had many almost meet ups too. The almost ones are quite common lol. Personally I think tinder is just the same as POF. Its got the good and bad. I also feel less pressure. With the proper dating sites I was getting bombarded and it was overwhelming. The ones i did speak to would talk to me like we were about to hop into a serious relationship right there and then. They were talking so far into the future it scared me. On tinder I only have to speak to those I like. Usually meet up for an alcoholic drink or coffee. I am more confident and less terrified of rejecting them. The downside.... A lot of men may like you then drop you just as quick as soon as someone shinier comes along. Tinder gives a world of options and its too overwhelming for some men. They can't make up their minds. Link to post Share on other sites
xenawarriorprincess Posted March 7, 2017 Share Posted March 7, 2017 Tinder is designed to be a "hookup" site, not a dating or relationship site, so many men and women who read a profile that says something like..." Not here for hookups" will avoid trying to get to know you. Also, it's far more effective to match as many people as possible followed up by weeding people out, then it is to swipe only on the people you like. It's a numbers game. You might have been auto-swiped. If hookups are not your thing, perhaps try a different site and you might get the results you are hoping for. Link to post Share on other sites
anduina Posted March 7, 2017 Share Posted March 7, 2017 Tinder is to looking for a relationship, as eHarmony is to looking for a hookup. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted March 7, 2017 Share Posted March 7, 2017 One of my old HS buddies found the so called "love of his life" on Tinder...I don't know what that says about either one of them, but they seem pretty happy, and its been a couple of years now.. *shrug*... TFY Link to post Share on other sites
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