Attracted to a Married Woman

[Mysterio]

I met a woman that works at a Rec centre that I go to. I think she is the most warmest/kindest Woman that I have met in a long time. She is adorable and I would date her if she was single.

 

The way that it is now a days. You never know who is rock solid or choppy.

 

I know she has a daughter. She said several weeks ago that she was married when we were talking, don't know if she is common-law. I get this feeling if she was really happily married. She would be way more subdued and not this warm to me. She would be more cut and dry.

 

I am attracted to her, beyond just the big romantic thing. Should l fake ignorance and ask her out on a date, or express my feelings of attraction to her and see what she does.

 

If she is rock solid. She will say that she is married. If she is separating, then I may have a shot. Although I would have to take it slow.

 

I have never felt like this about any woman before in a romantic context. I don't and will not have an affair to explore if there is something more.

 

Or should I just keep my feelings to myself. Its obvious that I am attracted to her when we interact. I come off like a shy school boy with a crush.

 

Any advice will do. If she is happily married. I will leave it alone. I just want to get in there, before another guy gets in.

 

My friend K had his GF who is his wife now. She liked K. Found out that K was dating someone else. Left K alone. Then went after K, when he broke up with his ex, who was just a dating relationship anyways.

[BaileyB]

Sorry dude, if she is married you need to leave her alone and move on. Doesn't matter if her marriage is rock solid or choppy. It's none of your business. It's not cool to chase a married woman with a child.

[Sampson]

I just want to get in there, before another guy gets in.

 

There already is someone, her husband. And it doesn't matter if she is solid or choppy. That is a marriage.

 

She told you she was married. She has a kid. This all equals a family. You need to stop fantasising about this woman and work on putting your efforts into a single available woman.

 

Move on.

[BTDT2012]

She told you that she is married. Leave her alone.

[Confused48]

Any advice will do. If she is happily married. I will leave it alone. I just want to get in there, before another guy gets in.

 

I think I understand your predicament. You think she is married but on the market anyway. Lots of physically attractive women will have overlapping relationships. They won't leave their current partner/husband until they are 100% sure they have something better to trade up to. So you don't want to miss out on the opportunity of being with this woman who is looking to trade up right now.

 

Run.

 

The absolute best result you can hope for is to end up in a long term relationship with a morally bankrupt floosie. If you do you will likely be cheated on multiple times before you catch her at it bc she is good at hiding her tracks.

 

Or even worse you could fall into infatuation with her and be her guy on the side. I see you have been here long enough to know what kind of pain that will entail.

[aileD]

I can't cut and paste on my phone but if I could, I would take every thing you said paragraph by paragraph and write "doesn't matter--she is married--move on" after it

 

Go reread your post and say that after every paragraph

[elaine567]

I know she has a daughter. She said several weeks ago that she was married when we were talking, don't know if she is common-law. I get this feeling if she was really happily married. She would be way more subdued and not this warm to me. She would be more cut and dry.

 

Why would you think that?

It is probably just her personality.

She told you she is married, that is the clue most men take on board, she told you that for a reason, ie she is NOT interested.

Take your fantasied off elsewhere.

[Mysterio]

Let me state this. My love life has been very hard on me. Single women that I have tried to date don't make things easy.

 

This Woman that is married is not someone that I just want to sleep with. She has those warm/sharp qualities that I am looking for in a relationship. I am 16 when it comes to dealing with women. Nothing is ever clear cut and precise. There always an obstabcle. I am trying to stay on the straight and narrow. I know people that jump from one to another on a regular basis.

 

One of my childhood friend's Wife pounced on him basically when she found out he was single. Thats after inquiring about him a couple of months before while he was dating another woman.

 

One of my lady friends who is 65. After getting divorced around 42. It took her 3 guys to get to her current partner when she met him at age 53 and they are 13 yrs in now.

 

Life is ever dynamic. Being 16 to me is like sleeping with any girl and getting them pregnant. Playing Video Games and not really thinking about your future as much.

 

I guess I just have to say to myself. All her attributes can be found in a single woman that I have yet to meet. I just have to find that in another woman. I guess I feel like its so rare that I come across that type of woman that If I don't make an inquiry I may miss out. In the sense that if I tell her how I feel. She can turn me down and then I won't be torn when I see her.

 

I guess I have to use her as a Blueprint. She is not like a bombshell where everyone is chasing after her. I think if she was really rock solid with her husband. She would have brought him up a bit more, when I interact with her.

 

I just wish this side of my life was more cut and dry and not murkey.

[BaileyB]

I think you are living in a fantasy, in which you think this woman is available to you or even if she is married, that somehow her marriage is not "rock solid," and thus she would be open to your proposition.

 

I also think you are living in a fantasy, putting this woman on a pedestal in which you think she is "the ideal" because you have been disappointed in the past. The truth is, no woman is perfect and there are many wonderful women out there who would treat a man well and bring many wonderful things to a relationship.

 

I say this will all due respect, but you really need to grow up.

[Mysterio]

I am not going to pursue the woman at the Rec centre. Not like I was really going to do it. I have to use the charateristics as a blueprint to find a single woman that has the warmth/sharpness that I am seeking.

 

Thanks for the support.

 

I guess I feel like this journey of trying to find love has really been more deadly to my soul. I don't why a lack of a love relationship seems so extreem to me. I had a GF in 2012. I dated a girl in 2013 and 2015. I have female friends if I want a female perspective.

 

I don't know whats going on with me where I just feel like a lack of love is such a drought for me.

[gettingstronger]

Eww... Please don't be that creepy guy that thinks every woman that works with the public and has being nice as part of their job is fair game. I teach and of course I'm nice to the Dads- talk as long as they need to about their kids, smile and laugh and make them feel comfortable in my class. Drives me nuts the number that ask me out. I want to say, buddy has a female never spoken to you before-

[Mrin]

Dude... stop

[bubbaganoosh]

You know her marital status. She may or may not happy but that's between her and her husband. He might be a nice gu and he might be one that's the jealous type.

 

Either way, messing with a married woman and you might see the ugly side of a nice guy or a holy terror fro a jealous husband and he'll have a bulls eye on you.

 

Leave it alone. And one more thing. Would you like some guy putting the moves on your wife if you were married?

[aileD]

You have another post where you are annoyed at the fact your friend is dating a woman (for many years) who is just separated and you are eagerly concerned with why she isn't going forward with the divorce even though your friend isn't that concerned. You've stated it would bother you immensely if you were in his shoes.

 

Trust me, getting involved with a woman who is actually still married in every sense of the word is not a good idea

[FortyandForlorn]

Let me state this. My love life has been very hard on me. Single women that I have tried to date don't make things easy.

 

This Woman that is married is not someone that I just want to sleep with. She has those warm/sharp qualities that I am looking for in a relationship. I am 16 when it comes to dealing with women. Nothing is ever clear cut and precise. There always an obstabcle. I am trying to stay on the straight and narrow. I know people that jump from one to another on a regular basis.

 

One of my childhood friend's Wife pounced on him basically when she found out he was single. Thats after inquiring about him a couple of months before while he was dating another woman.

 

One of my lady friends who is 65. After getting divorced around 42. It took her 3 guys to get to her current partner when she met him at age 53 and they are 13 yrs in now.

 

Life is ever dynamic. Being 16 to me is like sleeping with any girl and getting them pregnant. Playing Video Games and not really thinking about your future as much.

 

I guess I just have to say to myself. All her attributes can be found in a single woman that I have yet to meet. I just have to find that in another woman. I guess I feel like its so rare that I come across that type of woman that If I don't make an inquiry I may miss out. In the sense that if I tell her how I feel. She can turn me down and then I won't be torn when I see her.

 

I guess I have to use her as a Blueprint. She is not like a bombshell where everyone is chasing after her. I think if she was really rock solid with her husband. She would have brought him up a bit more, when I interact with her.

 

I just wish this side of my life was more cut and dry and not murkey.

 

I'm confused - how old are you? Are you 16? You mention that age twice.

 

This is what's cut and dry: a woman says she's married. You move on. Even if she's in a terrible marriage, that's not your business. Either way she is unavailable and you need to move on. A woman can be nice and friendly without having it mean anything. All humans can. And it's disgusting that you would assume otherwise.

[JamesM]

Friendly does NOT equal flirting.

 

I will never forget the woman (when I was single and in my twenties) who said to me upon meeting me, "Oh, I wish I could take you home! You are so cute!" She was married and had children...and a daughter almost my age!

 

She was warm and friendly to me and also was the kind that touched alot.

 

As a naive young man, I was taken aback and wondered where this could lead. An older woman with dark eyes and dark hair.....but no.

 

It simply was her personality. I still know her to this day and she still is the same but much older. She never meant anything sexual by her comment. She was simply expressing herself to me in a very descriptive way. I doubt she even remembers her comments.

 

Odd thing is...I suggested that her daughter and I meet, but she never introduced us. So maybe there was more there.

 

My point is that married women often feel safer being "warm and friendly" because they know they are married and they know YOU know they are married.

 

And many women feel safe to be warm and friendly to married men who wear their rings because they feel the man is advertising his faithfulness and will not hit on them or think they are hitting on him.

[whichwayisup]

I'm confused - how old are you? Are you 16? You mention that age twice.

 

This is what's cut and dry: a woman says she's married. You move on. Even if she's in a terrible marriage, that's not your business. Either way she is unavailable and you need to move on. A woman can be nice and friendly without having it mean anything. All humans can. And it's disgusting that you would assume otherwise.

 

I think he means he acts like a 16 year old around women and doesn't know much...

 

I agree with the rest..

 

Time to say goodbye to her, she's married and it seems quite one sided. You're into her and she's not that into you.

[NTV]

Tried speed dating yet?

[Mysterio]

I want to make things clear. I am not going up to her and asking her to leave her Husband.

 

I just really admire her personality qualities and I have yet to meet a woman around my age that has the Warmth/Sweet/Adorable/Sharp qualities. I just wish she was single. I am not projecting anything on to her. Its not an act the way she is.

 

I just have to find or some woman finds me, that has those qualities that we can build on. 2 Single people building something together.

[Mysterio]

I won't do Speed Dating. I have to chill and make a metal checklist and this woman that is married has helped me. Single Woman that is Warm/Sharp/Sweet/Adorable. That woman gets my attention.