I've been constantly rejected by my dark tone and ethnicity. I'm fed up with looking.

[joash_9292]

I'm 27 years old, partially bald, dark tone, Indian. I'm currently living in Toronto. I have never been in a relationship before. It's not like I don't want to be in a relationship. I have been rejected by girls all my life. I didn't even get a date for my prom. I'm kind, faithful and ready to spend time to get to know a girl. I have a house of my own, my own car, six figure salary. Now many might say that I should show my accomplishment and prove that I'm worthy, but that's the problem. How can I prove myself when I'm not even given a chance to talk. I just get rejected right away based on looks. At first I thought I might be coming on needy and hard when asking a girl out. I even practiced it with a friend of mine ( a girl), she told I'm perfectly fine and am not pushing it hard. I want a girl who likes and loves me for who I am and doesn't judge me based on looks. I'm fed up with this, instead want to concentrate on making more money. But my mom is very concerned about this and sometimes she worries too much, saying that she wished I wasn't born dark and didnt become bald. I dont know how to find a good girl anymore, who would love me for who I am. I have tried everything, lately stopped worrying about it. But now i'm concerned about my mom's stand on this issue, she is really feeling bad about this. What do I do in my situation?

[VeveCakes]

Do you want this for you or your mom?

 

Lots of ugly people out there find love so I doubt your looks have anything to do with it.

 

Are you OLD? Meeting girls in person?

[Weezy1973]

How are you meeting women now? Online dating? Meetups? Do you have a mixed social circle with women in them?

 

Dating is a numbers game, the more women you meet, the more chance you have of connecting with someone who has similar values.

[preraph]

Well, your mom isn't helping you by reinforcing your insecurities about your looks.

 

If you weren't trying to date people outside your ethnicity, you wouldn't have this problem. I mean, people overall, even today, 2017, still are mostly dating within their own ethnicity and still fear the unfamiliar, plus it's just natural to be attracted to those most like you. Some people date people who even look a whole lot like themselves down to the detail. It's not an "unfair" thing. It's just reality.

 

You'll do best dating within your own type. Now you may say you don't want someone traditional, well, there are a lot of Indians who are no longer traditional. And Indian women have a unique beauty. They are nearly always beautiful, I think. Baldness is a bit of a curse, but you must know that it's not the big deal it used to be.

 

Look for social groups in your city that host meetups with Indians, and see if there are any special online dating sites for that too. I happen to know there at least used to be because some guys where I used to hang out were always on it. But that was some years ago.

 

Relax. Do the things you enjoy doing the most. You have a lot to offer the right person.

[amaysngrace]

Can't you lighten your skin if you're truly bothered by your skin tone?

[Weezy1973]

If you weren't trying to date people outside your ethnicity, you wouldn't have this problem. I mean, people overall, even today, 2017, still are mostly dating within their own ethnicity and still fear the unfamiliar, plus it's just natural to be attracted to those most like you. Some people date people who even look a whole lot like themselves down to the detail. It's not an "unfair" thing. It's just reality.

 

You'll do best dating within your own type. Now you may say you don't want someone traditional, well, there are a lot of Indians who are no longer traditional.

 

I think I missed something; did the OP say he didn't want to date Indian women? Also Toronto is one of the most multicultural cities on the planet; I'm sure there are plenty of mixed race couples around...although generally I'd agree that like attracts like..

[preraph]

I think I missed something; did the OP say he didn't want to date Indian women? Also Toronto is one of the most multicultural cities on the planet; I'm sure there are plenty of mixed race couples around...although generally I'd agree that like attracts like..

 

I mean, why would someone of his same skin tone reject him based on skin tone? So I have to assume he's trying to date others.

[elaine567]

I have a feeling the OP may be trying to date Indian women hence his reference to his darker skin tone and being rejected.

 

Fairer skin tones are glorified by Indians. Fair skin is thought to be associated with greater intelligence, greater status and greater privilege - better genes...

 

Growing Up With India's Light-Skinned Beauty Standards | The Huffington Post

 

Why does the Indian society prefer a light skin complexion over a dark one?

[VeveCakes]

Your problem is Toronto. It's the Mecca of stuck up entitled women in your age range.

 

Unless you're driving a Lambo and flashing cash around, I would look outside the city.

[preraph]

I have a feeling the OP may be trying to date Indian women hence his reference to his darker skin tone and being rejected.

 

Fairer skin tones are glorified by Indians. Fair skin is thought to be associated with greater intelligence, greater status and greater privilege - better genes...

 

Growing Up With India's Light-Skinned Beauty Standards | The Huffington Post

 

Why does the Indian society prefer a light skin complexion over a dark one?

 

Well, if this is truly the case and he is failing at dating Indian women, then it must be because he's going after those with lighter skin, and he should know better by now and go after those with his skin tone or darker. Otherwise, he is just as much the problem as they are because he is just like them with his biases.

[Shining One]

OP, my advice is to not limit yourself to Indian women of equal or darker complexion than you. I'm an Indian man in a relationship with a very attractive white woman. If I followed some of the advice in this thread, I would have unnecessarily and severely diminished my dating pool.

 

You need to learn to deal with rejection. Harden yourself to the point it no longer bothers you. Just remind yourself there are more women out there. When you've exhausted the entire pool of single women, then you should be worried.