Vicoria Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 I have two children, ages 3 and 11. I had my first child when I was 19, her father said he wasn't ready to be a dad. I worked 3 jobs at a time to support me and my child. I dated many different men , always looking for the right man for me and my child. I got pregnant again with my son after living with one man off and on for two years. He had just moved us to Kansas to be near his dad. I was 1 month along when he kicked us out in the street. My mom, always the supportive one, sent my sister with a uhaul to get us. He wouldn't let us have our belongings. He had filed a "Protection from abuse" order on me. Imagine this, I am barely 5 foot tall and he stands 6 foot 6 &1/2 inches tall. That night he slept with a girl there and got her pregnant. He called the next day wanting to come home and stupid me let him. I was too stressed and scared not to. I have been with my husband for almost 7 years, off and on. I can't count the times he has abandoned me and the kids, before or after we got married. I always took him back no matter what he did, because I loved him and I did not want my son to be without a father as my daughter was. The problem has always been that he has never been a dad to either one. He likes to drink and hang with his buddies, which I don't call being a husband. As a wife, I cook, clean, mow the yard, and take care of my kids and my husband. My husband would say his job was to work and bring home the money. Which he did do some of the time. He has never been with a job more than 1 year. Most don't last a couple of months. He either gets hurt, quits before he gets fired, or flat out gets fired. My family has always been there for me, no matter what. They have kept me and my kids from losing my house, my car and from going without food. Of course, my husband did not think we owed them anything. Yet, when he is in trouble and his mother bails him out of jail or whatever, we must pay her back instantly. Recently, my husband came home and stayed for 10 days. He said it was slow at work. He did not pay attention to the kids and as usual the only time he paid attention to me was because he wanted sex. I happened to be working the whole time he was home, because the other nurses aid was on vacation. He wouldn't get out of bed to keep the kids, so I had to pay a babysitter. He ate 90% of the food in the house, and only left the house twice, and that was to go fishing. The last day he was home, I was at my mom's and he called to say he needed a ride to work. While he was home, I had told him I wanted a divorce, I was tired of everything in our relationship. I even told him that part of me hated him. He packed his normal bag as full as he could get it. He took his best hat and boots also. This is not normal considering he works in the oilfield. On the way to take him to work, we talked and he said he wanted to work things out. I said we'd talk about it. The next day I went to pickup his paycheck only to find that he called them and told them not to let me have it. My husband's mother called me yesterday and told me my husband had gone to the hospital and they think he has a kidney disease. So he is staying at her house. She says she is coming to get his stuff tomorrow. I told her she could have his necessities, but that I was going to have a garage sale and put the rest of his stuff in it, so I could buy groceriesand pay a few bills. She said the court would make me pay him for all his stuff. I don't know if this is true. The small paycheck from my parttime job is not enough to take care of things until I can get a regular paycheck. Some people can't believe I have stayed with him as long as I have and always taken him back. I never believed in divorce until I married my husband. Also, he has always threatened to take my son if I divorced him. During our marriage my husband has been a drunk, a druggie, and abusive, mostly to me. I never filed a report because he always promised no to do it again. My family can't afford to help me right now, although they will do everything they can as ususal. I considered the legal aid thing, but I was told they wouldn't fight for and that my husband could get everything, including my son. What can I do? Link to post Share on other sites
Heavenlyflower9 Posted July 25, 2005 Share Posted July 25, 2005 Sorry to hear about your situation. Have you tried seeking a lawyer that can help you in cases like this one? I don't think he can take your son away from you. You were the one working 3 jobs! Plus taking care of him, the kids and the house. He could'nt keep a job and most of the time was drunk. UNfit Dad! Just hang in there! I wish you and your children the best of luck! Take care and keep us updated. Link to post Share on other sites
NiCoLe20 Posted July 25, 2005 Share Posted July 25, 2005 i think you should stay away from this man b/c he isnt' helping you out in anyway. go ahead and sell his belongings... as long as he doesnt have any receipts, or proof that you sold it, then go ahead!!! if he isnt paying for his kids or the house, someones gotta do it! this man is a deadbeat, you and ur kids dont deserve that either. start a new life without him. can ur mom watch ur kids while you work? or a brother or a sister... if not then have a babysitter. you can make it on ur own w/o this man...good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts